


Altered Reality

by DimiGex



Series: Altered Reality [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Fluff, Hatake Kakashi-centric, KakaRin, Pregnancy, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:25:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8191814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimiGex/pseuds/DimiGex
Summary: When Kakashi wakes up beside the impossible, he knows something is wrong. Either he's losing his mind or he's trapped in a genjutsu so powerful even he can't escape. Is he strong enough to fight or should he accept the world that could have been?





	1. Awakening

Roaring filled the cavern as the walls trembled beneath their weight, stones tumbling from the ceiling. Kakashi's stomach leaped into his throat when he gave the command to run. Minato-sensei had named him captain of the team. He was responsible to get Rin and Obito out of danger. His injured eye throbbed with the pounding of his heart as he rushed behind his teammates. Sunlight poured into the darkness when larger rocks were dislodged, bouncing into their racing feet. Without the use of his left eye, Kakashi found it difficult to judge distances. Twice already, he'd stumbled over rocks that he thought were somewhere else. The third time ripped his feet from under him. Then, he fell, air exploding from his lungs as he slammed onto the floor of the cave. Rin screamed Kakashi's name and Obito turned, eyes flicking upward. The jonin followed his gaze to the collapsing roof, where the largest stone yet had broken free. He could never get his feet under him in time.

Kakashi grunted in surprise when Obito grabbed a handful of shirt and the strap that held his father's sword. The boy hauled him up and flung him out of the way. Kakashi bounced across the ground, colliding with the wall as Obito disappeared beneath the rubble. The world screeched to a halt, regret and shame jarring through Kakashi. He should have protected Obito; the chunin shouldn't have come back for him.

The thundering collapse dissipated, and Kakashi tore to his feet, falling and stumbling on his knees to reach the place where Obito had vanished. Rin stood there already, tears streaming down her cheeks. She held one of Obito's hands in both of hers. He managed a smile despite the crushing weight of the boulder covering half of his body. Agony welled in Kakashi's chest as he shoved against the rock, willing it to move with every ounce of his strength. The stone didn't budge. Kakashi slammed his fist against the unforgiving surface, trying to summon anger. He could control rage easier than the overwhelming anguish he saw mirrored in Rin's eyes. Shinobi weren't supposed to cry. Kakashi forced himself to hold the pain close as he knelt beside his teammates, vowing to avenge Obito.

The cavern shifted around Kakashi, swirling into open sky and inky darkness. He heard the sea whispering against stone cliffs, felt the physical exhaustion in his body despite the adrenaline coursing through it. He and Rin were surrounded and alone, too far from home and help. Dozens of Hidden Mist shinobi advanced, drawing weapons, bloodlust shining in their eyes.

After gaining the sharingan from Obito, Kakashi had improved his skills, but he couldn’t take on this many, even with Rin's help. She stood beside him, twining a strand of hair around one finger the way she did whenever lost in thought. Determination filled her light brown eyes rather than intimidation. The sight triggered something in the back of Kakashi's mind, but he didn't have time to figure out what it was. He had sworn to protect Rin with his life, and he intended to keep that promise to Obito.

Kakashi summoned his chidori and lunged toward the closest enemy. The lightning enveloping his right hand ripped through the man's chest like the scarecrows he'd practiced on. He took down a second enemy heartbeats later and was reaching for the third when Rin sprang between them. Though his sharingan registered her movement, Kakashi couldn’t stop. Blue-white light reflected off her face as his hand slammed into her chest with irrevocable force. The breath whooshed from Kakashi’s lungs as if he'd been the one attacked. The shock made chakra slip beyond his control. The lightning flickered out of existence when he gazed into her eyes, inches from his own. Rin trusted him, even as he killed her.

Kakashi had never entertained Rin’s request to kill her, even after she revealed what had taken place while she'd been a captive. He refused to allow her to sacrifice herself for the village. Someone would be able to save her, even if he couldn't. Perhaps Minato or the Professor, they were far more knowledgeable in sealing jutsu than he was. There was no reason for Rin to die because the answer wasn't immediately available. Kakashi had already lost too much.

Rin whispered Kakashi’s name around the blood filling her mouth, running in crimson rivulets down her chin. His world shattered. Agony ripped through Kakashi’s chest when he couldn’t reach anger quickly enough. Hot tears streaked his cheeks as darkness dragged him down.

* * *

Kakashi jerked upright in bed, crying out the names of his dead teammates. The blankets clung like hands as he tried to drag himself back into consciousness. His chest heaved as the images flashed through his mind, as they’d done nearly every night since Obito and Rin’s deaths. Even now, all these years later, it hadn’t grown easier to live with his failures. Sweat soaked the sheets, sending a tremble though Kakashi’s body. He felt like he'd been through one of Guy's infamous all-day training sessions. He would have preferred that to the reality of his nightmares.

"Kakashi?" An unfamiliar voice mumbled his name. He slid a hand beneath his pillow, reaching for the kunai he started keeping there during his time in Anbu. The clandestine group had taught him how quickly things could end when you weren't prepared. His fingers brushed only the cool sheet; there was no weapon.

"You okay?" Sleep slurred the stranger's words, but Kakashi could still make them out. It wasn't his habit to wake up beside strange women, but he couldn't place the distinctly feminine voice.

As the panic of the nightmares faded, reality eased back in. Kakashi’s room was darker than it should have been, but the gentle drumming of rain suggested that clouds hid the moonlight that normally streamed through the window. He turned toward the woman beside him as she repeated his name a second time, sounding more awake by his silence. His eyes adjusted to the shadows, and when Kakashi saw her face, he scrambled backward out of bed, feeling sick and dizzy. Frantically, he wracked his brain, trying make sense of what he saw or to recall falling asleep.

"Are you okay?" The woman asked again, concern finding its way into her voice as she sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

Coughing, Kakashi swallowed around the lump in his throat. When he managed to speak, the words came out strangled. "What are—what are you doing here?"

Laughing softly, the woman tucked a strand of shoulder-length hair behind her ear. Kakashi closed his eyes, silently counting to ten before reopening them, wondering if that would dispel the illusion. She remained on the edge of his bed, head tilted as she watched him. Now that he Kakashi had a face to match the voice to, it had grown more familiar. "I'm pretty sure that most wives sleep next to their husbands."

"Wife?" Panic flooded Kakashi’s voice as he stumbled over the word. While he couldn't remember falling asleep, he was fairly certain that he would remember getting married. The woman’s eyes creased with worry, and she pushed herself off the bed to move toward him. Kakashi retreated backward until his shoulders hit the wall. The shock collapsed his knees, and as he slid down the wall, she rushed to his side

"What's wrong with you, Kakashi?" The glow of healing surrounded the woman’s body before she reached him, hands stretching toward his chest.

Green light filled the space between them, and Kakashi noticed the swell of her stomach beneath the nightgown she wore. His heart hammered against his ribs. "You're pregnant?"

"This isn't funny anymore. You're scaring me." The woman’s voice trembled, and the healing nimbus disappeared as she pressed a hand against Kakashi’s forehead. "I can't find anything wrong with you but—"

"I’m fine. I just need some air,” Kakashi interrupted. He had never felt less fine in his entire life, but he couldn’t admit that. Forcing strength into his legs, he stood. "I'm sorry I scared you."

Kakashi placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder and forced a smile. As he did, he realized that wasn’t wearing his signature mask. How could he have missed that? "I'm going for a walk to clear my head. You should get some sleep," he suggested. At her uncertain glance, he found himself fighting the urge to kiss her forehead.

The woman frowned, and Kakashi knew that she didn’t believe his lie. Before he could think of anything to say in its place, she closed the distance between them. She hugged him, nuzzling against his chest. The movement felt so familiar and so foreign that Kakashi couldn’t breathe. His mind could no longer reliably process the world around him. Numbness washed through him until soft words pulled him from his thoughts. "I’ll miss you. Don't be long, okay?"

"I won't," Kakashi answered, disentangling himself from her arms and turning away. His apartment felt the same, but there were subtle differences. Curtains covered the usually bare windows, and a vase of flowers rested on the table. He had never cared about such details when living alone. Two pairs of sandals waited by the door, another change.

Shaking his head, Kakashi knelt and pulled his shoes on. He'd slept in the standard issue navy shirt and pants that most jonin wore, but his face was bare. Rather than returning to the bedroom, Kakashi lifted a rain cloak from the pegs by the door. He could pull up the hood to throw shadows across on his face. Besides, he wasn't likely to run into anyone this late at night.

Walking through the sleepy village, Kakashi tried to make sense of the world he'd woken up in. Rain bounced in damp droplets off the cloak as his grey eyes took in the familiar scene. The same stone faces loomed down from the mountain, and the same houses spread their shadows across the street. But, everything was different. The earlier nightmare nagged at the back of Kakashi’s mind, but he pushed it away to focus on his current situation. He couldn’t possibly be married with a pregnant wife, a person didn’t forget something like that. And even if he had, those facts weren’t the most surprising things about tonight. He replayed the image of her face as he walked, tracing the gentle curve of her cheek in his mind. He couldn't reconcile the woman he'd seen tonight with the girl he remembered.

Sighing, Kakashi leaped from the street to the rooftops, crouching in one of his favorite spots. How could the village remain identical to his memory when everything had changed? Some dreams felt authentic enough to mimic reality, his nightmares were proof of that, but this felt different. Kakashi couldn't imagine wanting to forget the fact that he had a family, except for the certainty that it was fake. His night terrors forced him to relive the moments of his life that he wanted to forget the most: Rin's death, Obito's, finding his father's body, the nine-tails attack, or attending the funeral of the Minato and Kushina. Always, the worst moments replayed with vivid detail that made his chest ache and heart pound.

Tonight's dream had been no exception; it must be a new form of torture. Kakashi had never imagined a happy scenario with the clarity of his nightmares. It had to be false, though. Pinching the inside of his forearm did nothing to dispel the illusion. Exhaling, Kakashi cleared his mind of questions and focused on the calm inside. Then, he draw chakra. If this wasn't another nightmare, it had to be genjutsu; there was no other explanation. As Kakashi formed the hand sign and prepared the surge of chakra that would awaken him, reluctance filled him. Reminding himself that this couldn’t exist, he closed his eyes and whispered the release command.

Kakashi reopening his eyes; everything looked identical to the moment he’d closed them. The second and third attempts to break the genjutsu convinced him that if this were one, it was exceptionally powerful. He didn't feel as if he were losing his mind. Kakashi felt perfectly sane, it was everything else around him that had gone insane.

Since neither pain nor chakra disruption freed him, Kakashi had no other options to force himself to wake. Maybe if he went to sleep in this world, he’d wake up in the real one. If not, he could worry about the problem more tomorrow. With one last glance across the rooftops, Kakashi started back toward his apartment. Outside, he paused to shake the water from his cloak with the snap of his wrist then opened the door. Hanging the pale cloak on the peg, he placed his sandals neatly beside the ones that could only belong to her. He used the walk down the hallway to gather his courage. Part of Kakashi wondered if it had all been a hallucination and he’d open the door to find his bed empty, as it always was.

It took a moment for Kakashi’s eyes to adjust the darkness, then he found the woman's sleeping form curled beneath his blankets. She slept on her side, hair falling over her cheek while one hand reached toward the empty space where his body should have been. Kakashi paused to watch the steady rise and fall of her chest, wondering whether climbing into bed or sleeping on the couch would be more of a betrayal. If he slept on the couch and this were real, she’d be furious in the morning. If he woke up alone, this would be the only opportunity he ever had to hold her.

Whispering a silent prayer for forgiveness, Kakashi crept across the room and climbed beneath the sheets.  Closing his eyes, he willed his heartbeat back to normal. He succeeded until her hand brushed his side, then slid over his stomach. Without waking, the woman snuggled closer to rest her head on his chest. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. She made the soft sound of half sleep that he'd heard a hundred times on missions when she first fell asleep or woke to take her turn at watch. "Missed you, Kashi," she mumbled, stirring.

The unfamiliar nickname surprised Kakashi, breaking through his façade of strength. Letting out the breath he'd been holding, he wrapped one arm around her back and marveled at the soft warmth. Logic told him this was foolish, that he’d only hurt himself by surrendering, but his soul teetered on the razor edge between agony and hope. Kakashi drew her closer, facing her as he cradled her body close. His voice cracked as he gave in. "I've missed you too, Rin.”


	2. Changes

Gentle rain pattered against the windows, drawing Kakashi from the comfortable numbness of sleep. He woke cold, exhausted, and empty despite the imagined warmth of Rin's body against his last night. When the nightmares didn't leave him with teary eyes and pounding heart, they left him hollow. Like he'd lost the most important thing in the world but could never reclaim it. The familiar ache in the center of his chest flared to life as he wondered which scenario would be worse. Was it better to live in a world where Rin died at his hand and he could never see her again or to live in a world where nothing made sense but she was alive and part of his life? Kakashi didn't have the strength to answer that question so he lay still in the quiet, resisting the urge to open his eyes or reach a hand toward the other side of the bed.

The silence answered his unasked question and after a few moments, he opened his eye. The room was bathed in pale grey light, perhaps an hour or two after dawn. As he expected, the bed beside him was empty, blankets folded neatly. Like every other morning, he was alone. Sitting up, Kakashi scrubbing a hand through his pale hair and looked around the room. After last night, it felt like something should have been different but it was all the same. Pain from the betrayal of his own hope twisted through him. Rin was dead; she'd died at his hand all those years ago and there was nothing that could bring her back. That reality wouldn't change just because his mind tried to flee from it. Dragging himself out of bed, Kakashi shook his head. After eating something, he would throw himself into physical training to clear his mind. Working up a sweat always pushed his problems to the background, even if it was only a temporary fix.

The first thing he noticed when he stepped into the hallway of his apartment was the smell of breakfast. The second was the blue curtains draped over the windows. The sound of someone clattering in the kitchen reached his ears in the same moment. He paused, resting a hand against the wall just out of the line of sight for whomever else was in the apartment. Not that he mattered; Kakashi knew who it was, he just needed to collect himself before he faced her. Stepping around the wall that separated him from the kitchen space, he saw Rin sitting at the table. She'd changed out of the nightgown she wore the night before and into something much like the jonin blues he was wearing. Though, unless he missed his guess, the shirt was actually one of his. The mask he would have worn over his face hung loose around her throat and the shirt was large enough to accommodate her growing stomach. Tipping her head to the side at the sight of him, Rin smiled.

"It's about time you woke up." Her easy grin brought back both painful and pleasant memories. She looked different in daylight, more like the girl he remembered but she'd changed as well. Most of the girlishness had disappeared from her face, replaced by the calm maturity of womanhood. Her brown eyes were still wide and innocent, though, recalling the optimist that always played peacemaker between himself and Obito. They'd fought so often back then. "You're going to be late again."

Her voice drew Kakashi from the memories and he sat down beside her. There were bowls of rice topped by an egg in front of each of the chairs. Kakashi ate mechanically, more for strength than hunger, wondering what she meant. "Late for what?" He asked, taking a drink of the tea she'd poured for him.

"For training your students? You promised that you'd train them today even though you just got back from a mission. They're eager to be ready for the upcoming chunin exams." She rolled her eyes and smiled, pushing the food around in front of her without eating it. She had started without Kakashi, though; half the bowl was empty. "Ringing any bells?"

With a flash of shame, Kakashi realized that he hadn't even thought about his team since waking up here. Would they be the same students he remembered or someone else entirely? "Of course I remember," he lied.

"Are you okay?" Rin reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. The warm familiarity of the gesture almost made him flinch away; it had been a long time since anyone touched him lovingly. "You seemed confused when you woke up last night." He could tell she wanted to press him for more information but she was also willing to give him space, for which he was thankful. Eventually, he would have to tell her that he couldn't remember anything but right now was not the time. He needed to figure it out on his own first.

Bringing his gaze up to meet Rin's, Kakashi sighed. "I had a nightmare about Obito last night." He watched her face when he said Obito's name, wondering what emotion it would evoke. Last night, as soon as he realized the woman beside him was Rin, Kakashi had checked whether or not he still possessed Obito's sharingan. The room had leaped into perfect clarity when he opened his left eye, proving that whatever else had changed in this world, he still hadn't been able to save Obito.

The boy's death had been one of the driving factors that changed Kakashi from the arrogant youth he'd been into the man he was today. He couldn't imagine the path his life might have taken if that mission had ended up differently. Kakashi could have died there instead, or Minato might have arrived in time to save them all. Those type of thoughts were the ones he usually pushed away as pointless. Obito had died and there was no reason to worry about what might have been. As difficult as his death had been for Kakashi, it had been worse for Rin. She'd been inconsolable for weeks, clinging to Kakashi as if he were the only thing that kept her standing. Maybe he was. Rin was strong but losing Obito had been almost more than she could bear.

At the mention of their fallen comrade, Kakashi expected to see similar thoughts mirrored in Rin's eyes. Instead, she smiled and squeezed his hand. "It's cute that you still worry about him." The vexation and surprise must have been evident on his face because Rin laughed. Cute was quite possibly the last word that Kakashi ever expected to hear used in conjunction with himself. "You know ANBU are hard to kill. I'm sure he's fine."

"He's alive?" The words were out of his mouth before his brain could stop them. It felt like the floor had disappeared and he was falling. Rin frowned and looked at him the same expression she'd given him the night before. "He's ANBU?" The second half of her statement clicked home in his mind.

"He's been in ANBU for years, Kakashi." Rin's frown was back and he felt sickness clench at his stomach until even the thought of eating was out of the question. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but stop it. We talked about the fact that Obito was out of the village on a mission a couple of nights ago. The same night we found out that the baby was a boy. Or did you forget that too?"

The hurt in her voice was evident. "I'm sorry, Rin." He began, surprised how quickly the apology came to his lips. He'd never wanted to hurt her in life and he certainly didn't want to do so now, in whatever this was.

She sighed and pushed her bowl away. "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong," he responded, standing up and rubbing a hand over his face. "I need to get changed if I'm already late to meeting my team, though." Escaping to the bedroom, he located his familiar green flak vest and the pouches that held his weapons. Kakashi pulled on a long sleeved navy shirt with a mask though he didn't pull the latter over his face yet. He was in the process of strapping his kunai pouch to his thigh when he sensed Rin's presence behind him. She ran a finger across his lower back, prompting Kakashi to inhale sharply. Her hand curled against his side, gently pressuring him to turn around. He didn't resist.

She smiled up at him with a mix of love and tenderness, though he knew his confusion was hurting her. Rin lifted her right hand to caress his cheek, thumb tracing along the edge of the vertical scar over his eye. He felt himself blush and she smiled, noticing. "You know, you're already late. We could go back to bed and you could give your students one of those silly excuses you're always making up." The tone of her voice left little doubt about what type of invitation it was.

Kakashi's cheeks flamed crimson and he fervently wished he'd pulled his mask up as soon as he put the shirt on. He stammered out an apology. "I can't—I have my students waiting for me in the rain. What kind of sensei would I be if I left them there even longer?"

"The kind that worries more about what his wife thinks than his students?" Rin stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before playfully shoving his chest. "Go on then, Kakashi-sensei." Her voice dropped seductively around the title and he felt his pulse race. Rin must have seen the response in his eyes because she smiled again and leaned up to whisper by his ear. "We'll have our own lesson later."

* * *

 

Kakashi practically ran out of the apartment as soon as his sandals were strapped on. Only then, safely ensconced behind his mask, did he realize that he had no idea where he was supposed to meet his students. He could have gone back and asked Rin but even thinking about her made him blush. It wasn't that Kakashi was totally inexperienced with women, but the change in Rin surprised him. He'd known she had feelings for him when they were young, in much the same way he'd known Obito was in love with her. After his death, the pair had drawn together. Kakashi could still remember holding her close as her body shook with sobs. The pain seemed to overtake her randomly. If Minato had seen, he'd trusted Kakashi to look after her and he had. Kakashi had promised Obito that he would and that extended to helping her get through the emotions of his death.

In the months after Obito, he'd realized she was starting to depend on him more and more. Kakashi had been surprised that he enjoyed having her around as well. Somehow, her light drove out his darkness. Over time, he'd come to suspect that he felt something stronger than friendship toward Rin but despite knowing her feelings, Kakashi never acted on his own. He didn't lie to himself; it was impossible to go through the things they'd experienced and not feel a connection. The constant reminder of Obito, however, had been too much to overcome in the short time they'd had together before—Kakashi closed his eyes and forced the memory of her death away. He needed to focus on something else right now.

Since he didn't know where he was supposed to go, Kakashi walked toward the bridge where he'd so often met his team in the real world. As fate would have it, he was predictable. Three forms stood on the bridge and the pink, blond, and black hair was obvious through the rain. Kakashi chuckled as he sprang toward them; at least something here made sense. The group was still waiting on him even though he was at least two hours late. Whatever they'd been arguing about was cut short when he landed beside them.

Sakura recovered first. "You're late, sensei," she accused, crossing her arms over her chest. She was identical to the girl he remembered: long pink hair, red dress, and hearts in her eyes whenever she looked at Sasuke, as she did now.

Though he looked like the same person, Kakashi could tell Sasuke was different. The weight on his shoulders wasn't as overwhelming, nor was the darkness his eyes. Sasuke still held himself separate from his teammates, but the characteristic aura of hatred and disdain was missing. Naruto had changed as well. He stood among the others like an equal, not someone in constant competition to prove his worth. His head was held high as he leaned back against the railing of the bridge, smiling.

"Sorry," Kakashi offered, smiling behind his mask. "I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life."

All three of them laughed. "You always say that," Naruto shook his head. "Dad says you used to be strict about the rules and being on time. What happened to you?"

The world shuddered around Kakashi as he looked at the blonde youth. "Dad?"

Naruto grumbled under his breath. "I mean, the Fourth Hokage. Though, do I really have to show him respect if he isn't here? He's still my dad after all."

That realization was almost as difficult to grasp as the one he'd woken up to last night. Rin, Obito, Minato were all alive? Had the nine-tails ever rampaged through the village? What else had changed in this reality? Naruto showed the impact of having Minato in his life, though, and Kakashi reasoned that Kushina must be alive as well. His head spun.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura, his one constant, pulled him back to the present. "Everyone has been talking about the possibility of chunin exams in a few weeks. What do we need to do?"

"There are applications you can pick up at the academy," he began, wiping the back of a gloved hand across his face. The rain had turned to a damp drizzle that was just enough to be annoying. "Fill them out and turn them in. All of you are more than ready to be raised to chunin." Was that still true? The kids he'd known were ready for the exams but were these? "I know I said I would train with you today but I have pressing matters that need seeing to. I suggest you spend time training today, both individually and as a team. We'll train together tomorrow so I can observe your skills."

"You dragged us out of bed for that?" Naruto grumbled. "You said we were going to train today."

"Back off, Naruto," Sakura growled, threatening to pummel him. "Can't you see that sensei has something on his mind? We just got back from a mission, I'm sure he'd much rather be spending time with his wife than listening to you whine all day." She grinned. "Of course, you are good practice for when the baby comes. Isn't that right, Kakashi-sensei?"

In spite of himself and the way the insinuation made him blush, Kakashi laughed. Trust Sakura to see to the heart of things, even when he didn't. She always had been unusually perceptive. "I'm a jonin. When we are back in the village, I have duties besides overseeing your training." Naruto still pouted but the other two seemed unfazed. "Use today to get stronger. Tomorrow when we train, I'll know if you didn't practice." With that, he dismissed them.

"Tell Rin we said hi," Sakura giggled before skipping off toward Sasuke, asking if he'd help her train. Naruto immediately offered which elicited a groan and sharp comment from the pink-haired girl. Kakashi shook his head. As much as some things changed, others remained identical.

He watched the trio for a few moments, wondering how much their lives and personalities had changed. If he remained in this world, he would find out soon enough, there was no point worrying about it. The sun broke out from behind the clouds, making the damp surfaces glare and shimmer as he walked through the village. Kakashi knew where his feet were taking him before he allowed his mind to process it. The Hokage's office was somewhere he had spent a lot of time over the years but he felt trepidation standing outside it now. Shaking it off, Kakashi knocked on the heavy door and took a deep breath to steady himself when the familiar voice answered.

Minato looked much like he had the last time Kakashi saw him. That was the day that Naruto had been born, the day that both Minato and Kushina had died. Much like Obito and Rin, Kakashi hadn't been able to save them either. The familiar ache in his chest squeezed tight as he bowed. Minato smiled the same easy grin that he'd passed on to Naruto. "Kakashi, I didn't expect to see you today. What did Naruto do this time? I swear, Kushina is going to kill him if he's in trouble again." Emotion welled up suddenly and Kakashi fought down the tears that threatened to spring into his eyes. "What's wrong, Kakashi? Is it Naruto? Rin?" Genuine concern shone in Minato's face.

"It's nothing, sensei. I mean, Hokage-sama." Kakashi hurried to correct himself.

Minato inclined his head with a smile. "You can call me either, Kakashi. And If it's nothing, why are you here?" There was no animosity in his tone just curiosity.

Kakashi slid his hands into his pockets and wondered if he dared ask Minato about genjutsu. The man was more knowledgeable than Kakashi would ever be, but for some reason, Kakashi felt like he should talk to Rin first. "I just wanted to let you know that I told Naruto and the rest of my team to sign up for the chunin exams." That seemed a safe enough topic.

"We talked about this when I broached the subject with all the jonin," Minato questioned, smile never leaving his face. "I'm sure they'll all do fine. You've done exceptional with their training. The Uchiha are crowing over Sasuke, saying he'll be the next Itachi, though I don't know if he shows quite that much promise. The Haruno girl was one of the top students in their class and I'm sure you've given her a proper education in the field. And Naruto is," Minato paused and laughed. "Naruto is Naruto. He's almost as unpredictable as Kushina but I know he's in good hands."

Kakashi smiled though only his eye showed it. "Thanks, Minato. I'm sorry I interrupted your work. I'll let you get back to it."

"You didn't interrupt me. Stop by whenever you want, Kakashi." The man picked up a report as Kakashi showed himself to the door.

Feeling out of place, Kakashi stepped back into the hallway. He'd never made much of a home for himself in the village. There was his apartment, but for the vast majority of the time, he was away on missions. When he wasn't, his free time had been spent at the graveyard or memorial stone, telling Rin and Obito about everything they'd missed. Even though he could still feel the ache of their deaths, both were alive now. For lack of any clear direction, he let his feet carry toward the graveyard. Stones glistened after the rain but he didn't go toward the one he usually did. Instead, he turned to the side where a small tended grave was out of the way from the rest of the markers.

Crouching next to it, Kakashi sighed. "I'm sorry it's been so long, Dad. I wish you could tell me what I'm supposed to do. Somehow, everything I messed up has been made right but as much as I want this to be real, there's no way it could be. I feel like I'm losing my mind." His voice grew thick as the reality of his regrets piled around him. "How can I be the man Rin needs when I don't even remember falling in love with her? I want to do this right but I don't know how." The tide of helplessness wasn't one Kakashi was used to feeling. His shoulders slumped forward as his voice trailed into a whisper. "How can I be a father when I've failed so many times to protect those I love? I couldn't save them, Dad, no matter how hard I tried." Kakashi hung his head as the litany of names and images ran through his mind, emotion pouring out with his silent penitence.


	3. Uncertainty

Kakashi lingered in the cemetery, watching the sun rise steadily higher above the trees. Though there were still clouds overhead, the rain had finally surrendered. The sunlight was warm on his back, easing some of the tension between his shoulders. Both that, and the peacefulness of the scene, relaxed him but they couldn't calm his thoughts entirely. The logical side of his mind warred with the emotional whenever he considered his current situation. Normally, reason overpowered his passions but just this once, Kakashi wanted to surrender to the latter. He physically ached to accept this reality, even if it betrayed him in the end. The fact that he knowingly entertained such thoughts terrified him.

Groaning at the absurdity of everything, Kakashi pushed himself back into a standing position. "I'll come back and see you again soon, Dad," he promised. After crouching for so long, his muscles were thankful to stretch while he walked back toward the village. He had no particular destination in mind but there was nothing left to say to his father and Kakashi needed activity of some sort.

Perhaps he should have trained with Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke today, after all. If it did nothing else, it would at least take his mind off everything. In the end, though, he hadn't been ready to face his students. Even their faces had been painful. Were any of the memories with them real? He recalled missions and challenges they'd faced together but it was possible that they never happened here. Kakashi determined to push them hard in training tomorrow. The chunin exams were a serious test of skill and if these versions of his students weren't ready, he would withdraw their applications himself. He didn't want any more deaths on his conscience.

As he approached the village, Kakashi wondered how he could make up his behavior to Rin. Even though his mind rebelled at the possibility of being here, the physical reality remained and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Both last night and this morning, she'd shown him a tremendous amount of undeserved patience. Had their situation been reversed, he would have analyzed whatever was going on until he understood it completely. Rin, however, let him to work through things on his own. She simply trusted him. He'd apologized enough to render the words meaningless without something more. Somehow, he needed to show her that he was sorry for his behavior, even if it felt justified.

Kakashi didn't know much about being married or dealing with pregnant women, neither factor ever having been a part of his life until now. Buying her something seemed the safest best but it had been so many years since he'd known Rin that it would probably backfire. Surely her tastes had changed from the thirteen-year-old he remembered. What did you buy a woman anyway? Jewelry? Clothing? Even the thought of trying to buy something like that made his head hurt. Kakashi needed something simple, something even he couldn't screw up.

After racking his brain, Kakashi finally settled on buying her some strawberries. It was a small gesture, based on his memories of their days as teammates. She'd always been partial to the sweet berry, becoming delighted any time they found some growing wild while on missions. Rin would giggle and gather as many as she could hold in the pink apron she wore over her shorts. Then, she would try to feed them to the boys on her team while Minato looked on, amused smile on his face. Kakashi always dismissed Rin's attempts out of hand but Obito would turn nearly as red as the fruit she held to his lips.

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. Rin had been so young and innocent and he'd been far too arrogant to appreciate her. There was no way to undo his youth, but he could be a better man now. There were half a dozen stalls selling fruit so Kakashi picked one at random. As he selected a container of the berries, a familiar form slid past the edge of his vision. The man had his back to Kakashi as he walked down the street, wearing the jonin blue and green, rather than the black and grey of ANBU, but Kakashi would have recognized him anywhere. The short brown hair and glint of silver, when the man glanced to the side, confirmed Kakashi's suspicions.

Paying for the fruit quickly, he stepped back into the street and started after the form. He lengthened his strides but since the other man was nearly as tall as Kakashi, the distance didn't grow any smaller. Deciding that speaking with his friend again was important enough to warrant the energy, Kakashi sprang forward through the crowd, landing just behind his quarry. The man didn't miss a step at the sudden appearance; he'd probably sensed Kakashi approaching. "Yo, Tenzo," Kakashi began as his kohai turned. "How are you?" Tenzo's brow creased with puzzlement when his dark eyes appraised Kakashi.

"Hatake," Tenzo said formally, bowing. "I'm well." Kakashi missed a step, stumbling over air in shock. Though his friend was formal to a fault most of the time, it had been an eternity since Tenzo addressed Kakashi by his last name. The formality between them had faded years ago; Tenzo almost always called him Kakashi. Senpai, or whatever codename they were currently using. They had saved each other's lives dozens of time during their stint together in ANBU. "Were you looking for Obito?" The familiarity in his tone when speaking of Kakashi's former teammate was more painful than it should have been.

"I, uh," Kakashi tried to remember how to form words as Tenzo turned to look down the street. The blatant disinterest in speaking with him, drove all thought from Kakashi's mind.

When he couldn't get the words out, Tenzo tried a second time. "I think Obito is making a mission report if you needed him or was there something I can help you with?"

_I wish there was_ , he thought sadly while his mouth answered of its own accord. "Thanks. Sorry for bothering you."

"Not at all," Tenzo replied, bowing again before turning away. Kakashi watched for a moment, people dividing around him, before stumbling out of way into an alley between two buildings, reeling. Unzipping his vest, he shrugged out of it and placed it on the ground, with the strawberries on top, then pushed up the left sleeve of his shirt. Muscles straining the bunched fabric as he tugged it higher. Once it was nearly to his shoulder, Kakashi lifted his arm to examine it. There was an unmarred stretch of skin between his shoulder and elbow; the swirled tattoo that marked him as ANBU was missing.

Sagging back against the wall, he let the sleeve fall down. Just like that, years of his life had been altered, erased. He closed his eyes and tried to make sense of the missions he remembered. Of all the lives he'd saved and the ones he'd taken. How much had been undone and what were the implications? Kakashi shook his head viciously. He couldn't think about that right now.

Gathering up the fruit and his vest, Kakashi walked back toward his apartment. _Mine and Rin's_ , he thought with a shudder that balanced between dread and exhilaration. Never in his life had he felt as many conflicting emotions as in the past twenty-four hours.

To his surprise, Rin was nowhere to be found in the small apartment. She had been expecting him to train today so it was possible that she was running errands or doing whatever it was that housewives did. Kakashi realized had no idea what Rin's life was like now. Was she a jonin with her own responsibilities? Did she work at the hospital with her medical ninjutsu? He couldn't imagine her waiting all day for him to finish training or return from a mission but what would she do with her free time? There was no way for him to know until he saw her again but he would find out. The lack of her presence left him feeling empty in much the same way his nightmares did.

Deciding he couldn't stay in the apartment without Rin there, he placed the fruit on the counter and found a piece of paper so he could leave her a note. Tapping a pencil against his hand, Kakashi stared at the paper for longer than he should have. What in the world was he supposed to say? A small part of him whispered that he'd read enough Icha Icha to come up with something but Kakashi blushed beneath his mask. He couldn't talk to Rin like that, even if they were married. In the end, Kakashi hoped she could read the sincerity behind the two words he'd written. Folding it over and laying it on top of the strawberries, Kakashi left the apartment without a backward glance.

Hours later, sweat-soaked and exhausted, Kakashi slumped forward onto the grass by the river. Dusk was falling, the sky streaked crimson, and the coolness was a welcome change from the heat radiating off his body. Splashing water into his face, he exhaled audibly and looked at his work. Half a dozen targets were pierced by shuriken and kunai and several trees showed the mark of meeting his chidori. When he stood up, Kakashi realized his hands were shaking and his legs felt weak. It had been a long time since he pushed himself this hard in training but total exhaustion was as close to forgetfulness he could get.

As he moved toward the shadowy trees to retrieve his weapons, Kakashi scrubbed a hand through his hair. One of his first worries upon realizing he hadn't been part of ANBU in this world was that he wouldn't be as strong. Though he was exhausted, Kakashi couldn't find any discernable changes in his skill level though his stamina could use some work. Shaking his head, he reached to pull a deeply embedded kunai from a target when he heard the sound behind him.

"You're getting careless, Kakashi." At his name, the jonin spun, kunai still in hand. Before he could fully face the opposite direction, the prick of cold metal against his neck stopped his momentum. Obito's laughter hadn't changed at all.


	4. Old Friends

Chuckling in the darkness, Obito shoved Kakashi with enough force to send him stumbling forward a few steps. The Copy Ninja's heart pounded wildly in his chest, realizing that the boy he had spent years of his life trying to make up to was mere feet from him. No, not that same boy, but the man he'd grown into. All Kakashi needed to do was accept this world's reality to see his failures undone. Obito, Rin, Minato: all his mistakes changed and altered. Exhaling, he turned.

The Uchiha had grown almost as tall as Kakashi with the passage of time, his face losing the babyishness it had retained until death. At least, when Kakashi remembered him dying. The memory tried to form but he forced it away, focusing on this treacherous reality. Obito's dark hair was still worn short, sticking out in all directions like it had when he was young. A black headband held it away from his forehead and a stretch of matching fabric covered his missing left eye, the one he'd given to Kakashi. The right side of his face was marred with wavy scars but somehow it only served to enhance his features, adding a ruggedness to the beauty that most Uchiha were blessed with.

"I didn't actually nick you, did I?" Obito laughed, moonlight bright enough to make his face visible.

It was all Kakashi could do to speak. "Obito," the name left his lips like a prayer. For years it had been a prayer, a prayer for the forgiveness he could never attain. That name had been a constant reminder of his inadequacy, the impetus to do better in the future. It encompassed the grief and remorse that held him captive. But just like that, their eyes met and the weight shifted; Obito was alive. It didn't erase the guilt, but it transformed it into something new. The emotion was foreign enough to almost drop Kakashi to his knees.

When he sagged forward, Obito reached out and steadied his shoulder with a hand. "Seriously, I didn't hurt you, did I? I mean, I know you're getting old but I didn't think your reactions would be that slow."

The pressure in his chest eased enough for Kakashi to laugh. "You're older than I am, Obito."

"Well yeah," he grinned, looking identical to the boy Kakashi remembered despite the maturity in his face. "But I'm ANBU so I have to keep myself in shape. You're, well let's face it Kakashi, you're married with a kid on the way, it doesn't get much older than that."

"I could still take you," Kakashi mumbled, tucking away the weapon he'd extracted from the target into the pouch on his thigh. "You just caught me by surprise, that's all."

Obito laughed. "We're ninja; that's the point."

"Isn't ANBU supposed to be a secret? Are you sure you're really a member?" Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. Obito had always been an easy target for teasing; he was so much like Naruto.

The man shook his head from where he leaned against a tree. "We went through this after Minato-sensei assigned me. You made me show you the tattoo and everything before you'd believe it. That's been years though. Give it up, Kakashi, he thought I'd do better at it than you." Obito tipped his head to the side, popping his neck then smiled. "I could prove it, if you'd like. Though, I already got the jump on you once tonight and I'd rather not have Rin kill me for beating you up."

Kakashi grunted something that might have been agreement before turning to fully face Obito. The man was wearing black pants and a matching long sleeve shirt beneath a standard green jonin vest rather than his ANBU gear. That was hardly surprisingly though considering the covert nature of their role. Even if Kakashi and Rin knew about his status with the ANBU the rest of the village didn't. ANBU was a clandestine organization but friends and family sometimes knew or suspected the assignments. Guy had known about Kakashi's own involvement with ANBU, after all, though he hardly spouted it all over the village.

Though Obito looked like a standard jonin by his clothes, Kakashi could tell that his time in the black ops had changed him. As well as growing taller, Obito had put on muscle. It was obvious in every move that he made. He no longer looked soft and weak, as likely to cry as fight. Now, even slouched against the tree, Obito exuded the casual lethality of a trained killer. Kakashi felt discomfort flicker in his chest. Part of him wondered if he could still beat Obito in a fight; another part was nervous about the answer.

"What are you doing out here so late anyway, Kakashi?" Obito asked, looking his friend up and down. "I expected to find you at home, making dinner or whatever it is normal people do. Not out here in the dark, training yourself into that state."

Kakashi glanced down at his clothing, covered with dirt and sweat from the physical exertion. He had done more than anticipated and he could feel it through every muscle in his body. "I don't want to lose my edge." That was the simple truth.

Obito inclined his head and pushed away from the tree. "I just got back into town. Want to get a drink and unwind?" There was a tension in Obito that Kakashi recognized, a spring coiled too tightly.

Kakashi regarded him for a moment, wondering if he might be able to get some information out of Obito. He almost accepted then thought of Rin and felt a flash of guilt. "I should probably at least go home and let Rin know," he answered, wiping his hands on his pants though they weren't much cleaner.

Obito grinned and brushed his fingers through his dark hair. "We won't be that long. I'll make sure you're home by curfew." Kakashi heard the gentle mockery in the words, the good-natured teasing that took the edge off a deeper hurt. He knew going out to drink with Obito was probably a bad idea but that didn't stop him from agreeing.

That was how Kakashi found himself sitting in a bar beside the man he'd left for dead years ago. His gloved hands circled around his drink as he tried to think of a way to ask what had happened without admitting his inability to remember it. He wasn't ready to face that discussion with anyone else yet. He wasn't sure he was ready to deal with the question on his own either. The pair didn't talk about anything important; neither was drunk enough for that though Kakashi could already feel the warmth snaking through his body and lowering his inhibitions. Obito asked after Team Seven knowing both Sasuke and Naruto fairly well and Sakura by extension.

He grinned when Kakashi admitted to recommending them all for the chunin exams. "Sasuke has been chaffing because he's not chunin yet." Obito laughed. "Living in Itachi's shadow hasn't been comfortable for him."

"It may not be comfortable," Kakashi answered, taking another drink, "but it's been good for him. It gives him a goal, something to work toward. He's stronger because he wants to best Itachi. Just like Naruto. He wants to be as strong as Minato-sensei so he's constantly striving to do more. In turn, he and Sasuke push each other." It hadn't been that way for himself and Obito. Kakashi had always seen himself as better than Obito until the Kannabi Bridge mission. He glanced at the scarring on the right side of the Uchiha's face. It was possible that could have come from the same mission he remembered.

"What about Sakura?" Obito asked. The man had drunk as much as Kakashi but there was no indication on his face. He raised his hand to catch the bartender's attention and ordered another round. Whiskey this time, strong enough to make Kakashi's eyes water.

Coughing and trying to ignore Obito's laughter, he put the glass down. "Sakura is getting stronger. She chases after the boys but she's not there yet." He paused, turning the glass in a slow circle in front of him. "Rin has been working with her, actually, helping develop her medical ninjutsu skills when we aren't doing physical or combat training." Once the words were out of his mouth, Kakashi knew they were true even though he didn't know how.

"How are Rin and the baby? Is it safe for her train while she's pregnant?" Obito asked before taking a deep drink. The man didn't show any indication of the amber liquid burning as he thumped the empty glass on the table.

Kakashi nodded, finishing his own drink as well. It may have been a childish thought but he didn't want Obito to be able to out drink him. He normally had a fairly high alcohol tolerance but tonight the drinks seemed to be affecting him more than usual. He felt a flush in his cheeks and chest as the room began to wobble and spin if he moved too quickly. "They're doing well. She worries 'bout you."

Obito smiled with the same easy confidence that Kakashi had seen earlier. "I think I've proven that I can survive even in tough situations." Kakashi saw a shadow pass over Obito's face before he laughed. That darkness was one he was familiar with.

ANBU dealt with the missions that were too sensitive or dangerous for everyone else. After those soul darkening tasks, many of the members threw themselves into alcohol to forget what they'd done. Kakashi suspected that was why Obito had invited him out. He didn't ask how the mission had gone. He never wanted anyone to ask him about missions after they were done; never wanted to relive those memories. There was something about the dimness of the bar and the raucous laughter that drew out the pain, at least temporarily. That was one of the main reasons he let Obito drag him to the bar, though not the only one. He was desperate to gain a piece of his past.

"I thought you were dead, Obito" the words tumbled out of Kakashi's mouth before he could stop them. "I wouldn't have left you otherwise."

Kakashi wondered if Obito had heard his words, so complete was the man's silence. The minutes trickled past, sand in the hourglass, before he spoke. "Damn, Kakashi, not this again." Obito rubbed his eye and sighed. "You've apologized a dozen times and I've forgiven you a dozen and one. Stop beating yourself up already." Obito raised his empty glass and the man behind the bar noticed appearing moments later with two more glasses of the same whiskey.

"You saved Rin that day, Kakashi. It's okay that you couldn't save me." Obito looked exhausted by the conversation, as if it was one they'd had dozens of times. "Minato was the only one who could have saved me."

"What happened, Obito?" Kakashi fought through the haze of alcohol, wanting to make the pieces fit together.

The empty glasses were taken away as the silence stretched. Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut and tried to quell the rising tide of inebriation when Obito pushed a glass toward him. Lifting his own, the dark haired man finished it in one gulp and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. A tightening around his eyes was the only indication he felt the fire rush through him. Finally, he sighed. "Minato saved me, that's all that matters."

"Shoulda been me." Kakashi responded, only half conscious of the words. "Should've gone back."

Shaking his head, Obito flipped his glass upside down on the table and left it there. "We were kids, let it go. What's done is done." He frowned and brought his eyes up to his friend's. "Where's the fun side of Kakashi?"

"I don't think I have one of those," Kakashi muttered, enunciating each syllable carefully as they didn't seem to be working the way they were supposed to.

Earlier tension dispelled, Obito laughed. "Everyone does once they have enough alcohol."

Rin ran her finger over the hastily scrawled note in her hand as she glanced outside. It was well after dark now, far later than Kakashi should have been out training with his students. She wasn't worried about his safety, not really. Her husband was obviously more than capable of taking care of himself, but she didn't like not knowing where he was.

When she'd gotten home this afternoon, Rin had been surprised at the small package of berries on the counter, an unexpected gift. The note was unusual as well. Kakashi wasn't one to apologize easily so the simple request of "Forgive me?" meant that he felt he'd clearly been in the wrong about something. Rin wasn't sure what he was apologizing for, unless it was his strange behavior since he'd woken up last night, but the request was unnecessary. She would forgive him for just about anything, including staying out this late.

She had loved Kakashi since they were young, admiring his skill and intelligence from afar. He'd been standoffish, bordering on arrogant, even once they were teammates. But after the incident with Obito, Kakashi had changed. Rin shuddered and tried not to think of that mission. Instead, she tucked Kakashi's note away in the book she was reading and tried to focus on the words. It was one of those books that tried to walk women through their pregnancy, but her mind kept drifting to thoughts that had nothing to do with things the book was talking about.

After Kakashi had left this morning to train his team, Rin had cleaned up the apartment then gone to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor had been pleased with her progress, smiling and saying that he was sure her son would be a fine ninja one day as they listened to the strong heartbeat. Rin was in her fifth month of pregnancy and everything was going perfectly. In just a few months, their baby would be here. _Our baby_ , she thought with a smile. Would he look more like Kakashi or her? Secretly she hoped he would look have Kakashi's dark eyes and pale hair; the combination was striking.

The thought was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. Kakashi acted stoic most of the time, but she had seen the excitement and worry on his face whenever they talked about the baby. He wondered whether he'd be a good father, if he'd be able to protect their son and teach him all the things he wanted to. Though he never talked about it, she knew he couldn't help but think of his own father as he contemplated becoming one. Kakashi had adored his father until the scorn of the village, and perhaps his own guilt, drove Sakumo to take his life. Though he shared some of that darkness, Kakashi wasn't him.

Unconsciously she rubbed her hand over her growing stomach, hidden beneath Kakashi's shirt. Her own no longer fit and this one smelled like him: a familiar scent of earth, sweat, and life. Half smiling, she lifted the mask over her face the way he always wore it. Rin didn't know how Kakashi could breathe with the fabric covering his nose and mouth; it seemed stifling to her. Hearing the door knob turn, her first instinct was to blush fiercely and pull the mask away so it hung loosely against her neck once more.

There was a crash against the door, then an urgent hushing sound followed by a masculine laugh that rose to almost border on a giggle. Rin arched one eyebrow skyward as a deeper voice answered. "Are you trying to wake up the whole damn building? Be quiet. Kami-sama, I thought you could hold your liquor better than this." The woman crossed her arms over her chest, recognizing the voices.

The door jiggled a second time and finally swung open, banging against the opposite wall before either man could catch it. The sight before her was so foreign that Rin forgot to be angry or reprimand the pair. Kakashi's left arm was slung over Obito's shoulders. His normally pale face was red, silver hair disheveled, and his mask barely clung to his chin. A headband, presumably Kakashi's, was looped over Obito's left wrist as his hand pressed against Kakashi's chest, holding him upright. At least her husband had the presence of mind to keep his sharingan shut without the headband to cover it.

Kakashi held a finger against his lips, loudly shushing Obito though he wasn't making a sound. Obito seemed to be struggling with Kakashi's weight as they tottered into the apartment. Neither had noticed her yet. Obito was almost wholly supporting her husband as they paused in the doorway and his focus seemed to be keeping both of them from falling in the floor. Though he was a trained ANBU the idea of a threat here was so foreign that Obito didn't even scan the room.

"Can you stand up?" Obito whispered, propping Kakashi against the wall so he could shut the door.

"'Course," Kakashi murmured as Obito released his hold. Kakashi slid down the wall in slow motion, thumping onto his backside before Obito could even remove one of his sandals. The silver haired jonin chuckled. "Didn't want to."

Obito seemed to find the situation less amusing, shaking his head at the man on the floor. "In the future, maybe I don't want the fun Kakashi," he grumbled, reaching down to take off Kakashi's sandals. "Pensive really does suit you better."

"Tol' ya," Kakashi laughed his drunken gaze falling on Rin. The alcohol had done its numbing work on his mind because rather than worrying about her anger, he grinned. "Shhhhhh, you're not supposed'ta know 'bout this."

Obito spun, dropping Kakashi's sandals in surprise. When their gazes met, a blush marred his handsome cheeks. She held up a hand before he could even start to get the apology out. "Kakashi, are you drunk?" The question was pointless; it was obvious that he was impaired.

Her husband drew himself up indignantly. "Sshh—shi—obi—dammit, ninja don't ge'runk." The words were slurred and slow but he finally got them out.

"That's right, we don't," Obito said, pulling Kakashi back onto his feet now that his sandals were off. "Shinobi sleep it off."

"Thas the word," Kakashi laughed, patting Obito's chest. "Obito's alive, you too." Kakashi reached for her, nearly upsetting the teetering pair. Rushing forward, Rin slid beneath his other arm to help Obito. "Hi," Kakashi grinned at her, silly expression plastered on his face.

Ignoring him, Rin glanced at Obito over Kakashi's lulling head. "Let's get him to bed," she kept a tight rein on her anger as they walked through the apartment toward the bedroom. Once Kakashi thumped onto the bed, Rin turned toward Obito.

"Explain." Hands on hips, she leveled her gaze at her friend who blushed deeply. Though she didn't realize it, her foot was tapping the floor in a steady rhythm. Obito gave her the boyish grin that had gotten him out of trouble so many times when they'd been young and he'd shown up late. "No, you don't get to use that this time. What in the world happened to him, Obito? Kakashi doesn't drink and certainly not to that extent."

"He's home in one piece, isn't he?" Obito offered in defense. "If you need to blame someone, blame me. I saw him training and invited him out. It wasn't his idea."

Rin could only shake her head. "The fact that it was your idea doesn't make it any better, you know."

"But you'll forgive us," he chuckled. "You always do." His arms closed around her in a familiar hug and she sighed, already knowing she wouldn't hold a grudge at either of them.

"Are you drunk too, Obito?" She pulled away to look at him. Despite the state of Kakashi, Obito appeared sober. The only indication he'd been drinking at all was the faint scent of whiskey on his breath.

He shook his head. "I'm not. I mean, I did drink with him but Kakashi doesn't seem to have much tolerance for alcohol."

Rin considered telling Obito that perhaps the problem was that his tolerance was so high Kakashi couldn't keep up but she held her tongue on that subject. "Did something happen?" She glanced down at Kakashi who was lying back on the bed with his eyes shut.

"No. But after he drank, he wanted to talk about what happened." There was a hardness to Obito's voice that was at odds with his usual easy smile.

Rin touched his arm, watching some of the hurt melt away. "He wishes he could have saved you, Obito. He had a nightmare about it last night."

The man sighed and looked down at Kakashi. "Can't you convince him that I don't harbor a grudge over what happened, Rin?"

"He's probably just worried about the chunin exams and the baby," she said. "Come on, let's let him sleep." Taking Obito's hand, she led him from the bedroom toward the front of the house.

"Rin?" There was a hint of worry in Obito's voice as his dark eye traveled down to her stomach then back to her face. "Is there a reason for him to be worried about the baby?"

Rin shook her head. "No, he's perfectly healthy. Healthy and kicking actually," she cringed.

"Wait a minute? He? It's a boy?" Obito grinned almost as much as Kakashi had when he found out.

Rin blushed. "You can't let Kakashi know that you know. He wanted to tell you himself," she bit her lip, hating that she'd ruined his surprise.

Obito smiled. "Your secret is safe with me, Rin. You know that."

"I do," she matched his smile then leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you for everything, Obito." The man dipped his head with a smile and told her that he'd see her soon.

Once Obito left, Rin turned off the lights and made her way back to the bedroom and sat down on the bed. Focusing her chakra, she checked Kakashi to make sure he was in no immediate danger. As soon as the tendrils of chakra melded into his chest, Kakashi's right eye opened. He tried to focus on her face despite the alcohol rampaging through his body but it was a losing battle. Raising a hand, she ran her fingers through his pale hair until is rested smoothly against his forehead the way it did when he took his headband off.

Physically he was dehydrated but healthy. She filled a glass with water in the bathroom and carried it to the small table beside their bed. After unzipping his flak vest, Rin nudged Kakashi to sit so she could take it off. His chin drifted toward his chest even as he tried to look at her. She could smell the alcohol on his breath when he whispered her name. The tenderness behind the word surprised her and he sought her face through the murkiness of inebriation, meeting her eyes. "I-" there was a long pause where she wondered if he'd fallen asleep sitting up before he continued. "'m sorry, Rin. I tried." _Tried to what?_ She wondered, tugging his mask down so she could take off his shirt. "You're alive," he mumbled a second time, his lips brushing against her cheek as he leaned into her.

"I am," she agreed, trying to get him to move back a little. Once it became clear that her intentions were to undress him, Kakashi raised his arms helpfully. As she lay his shirt aside, Kakashi leaned in to nuzzle against her neck and shoulder. Rin placed her hand against his chest, gently pushing him away. "You need to drink this," she reached for the glass and held it to his lips. Kakashi mumbled and sputtered but eventually swallowed most of the water. When she removed her supporting hand from his back, he fell back on the bed.

Rin stood up and pulled the sheets over his chest, tucking them around him like she would a child. His eyes were both shut as she leaned down to gently kiss his forehead. It was warm with the flush of alcohol but she knew he would be cold when he woke. She picked up the glass to carry it back to the bathroom when she felt his hand close around her wrist. Surprised, she glanced down. His eyes were still shut and when he spoke, the words soft. "Please don't leave me, Rin."

"I'm not going anywhere," she answered, laying the glass on the table and climbing into bed beside him. As soon as he sensed her presence, Kakashi reached for her, drawing her close against his chest where she could hear the steady pounding of his heart. Rin exhaled against his skin, relaxing and breathing in the familiar comfort. This was the husband she remembered.


	5. Off Balance

 

Kakashi woke with an unfamiliar weight on his chest and a splitting headache. The sun had barely risen enough to light the small room but an alarm blared by his ear. Groaning, he threw one arm over his eyes and used the other to fumble at the noise beside him. On his second try, the jonin managed to knock the clock into the floor and silence the sound. He didn't care about anything else.

The jonin's mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton and the room tilted around him. Fragmented images from last night pierced through the veil of exhaustion that was trying to drag him back toward sleep. Kakashi had been, quite possibly, the drunkest that he'd ever been last night. He vaguely recalled Obito dragging him home. Another image flashed into existence. Oh Kami, had he really tried to kiss Rin? He groaned again and shifted to find a more comfortable position only to realize she was the weight against his chest, hair fanning over him like a blanket while one hand rested on his stomach.

His first reaction was to blush furiously when the blurred memory of nuzzling against her neck while she undressed him leaped to the forefront of his mind. The second reaction was to desperately try and remember the events of last night. He drank far too much alcohol with Obito, obviously, and barely remembered getting home. That was never a good sign. His head felt like someone had driven a senbon through his skull and poked around inside his brain. There had been a lot of laughter at his expense. Beyond that, there were gaping gulfs where memory should have existed.

"Stop fidgeting," Rin murmured, curling her fingertips against his taut skin before nestling closer. She was unbearably warm on his side and he could feel her stomach pressing against his hip. He tried not to think about the fact that she was pregnant but lying like this, it was impossible to ignore. He couldn't place why that thought bothered him so much except that it was foreign. Maybe if he could remember everything leading up to now, it would be different. But for the girl he'd known to suddenly become his pregnant wife was just too much to comprehend.

"I'm not a pillow, you know," he grunted and regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Rin looked up at him, chin on his chest. The drowsiness in her brown eyes had faded, replaced by annoyance. This was why Kakashi avoided relationships; dealing with feelings was not one of his strengths. It was easier to pretend they didn't exist or avoid them rather than trying to understand. He never knew what he was supposed to say or how he was supposed to act.

Nails dug into his skin just enough to be painful as Rin watched his face. "You're lucky I didn't have Obito leave you in the hallway last night." She paused, waiting for his response, but Kakashi held his tongue. He didn't know what she wanted to hear and it seemed that no matter what he said, she would only grow angrier anyway. He was well aware that he'd screwed up. "What were you thinking, Kakashi?"

"I wasn't, obviously." Kakashi grumbled and considered blaming Obito. That wasn't fair, though. Kakashi had accepted the man's offer and no one had forced the alcohol down his throat. His stupid pride kept him from being sensible about how much he had and now he was paying the price. His pride was a weakness he didn't like admitting to. "What did you set the alarm so early for?"

Rin's shoulder nudged his ribs. "You've been holding out on your team, promising you'd train them since you got back from your last mission. You're going to keep your promise." The idea of dealing with Naruto, when his head was pounding the way it was, bordered on torture to Kakashi. In fact, he wasn't sure he could stand up without falling over. How much had he drunk last night? Whatever amount, it was clearly too much for his body to handle in this world. Idly, he wondered what that meant. He'd lost himself in alcohol often enough when he was in ANBU, they all did. The quantity he'd had yesterday should have been negligible by comparison. There was a clue there, but Kakashi's alcohol saturated mind couldn't grasp it.

"You're going to force me to train them?" For the second time this morning. Kakashi wished he could recall his words. It wasn't his usual habit to antagonize people, particularly not ones that he cared about, but for some reason, Kakashi couldn't stop himself. Rin didn't respond to the coldness in his voice. She simply scooted away and climbed out of bed.

Sighing, Kakashi watched her cross the room toward the bathroom without a word. When the door clicked shut, he growled under his breath and gazed up at the ceiling. He knew he was being an unfair, arrogant ass but he was exhausted and confused and her close proximity made him uncomfortable. The desire to take her in his arms dragged at his heart but the fear of losing her again was just as strong. He still couldn't bring himself to think of her as his wife though everyone else accepted it. _Mother of your unborn child too_ , a faint voice whispered in the back of his mind.

That thought was enough for Kakashi to throw back the blankets and get out of bed. True to his earlier prediction, he almost ended up falling before he could get his knees and feet to cooperate. The man was starting to reach for a clean shirt when the bathroom door opened and Rin stepped out. She pointedly didn't look at him when he spoke her name. On wobbly legs he stepped in her path, forcing her to go around or face him. He had no doubt which she would choose. Her eyes flashed up to his and he saw anger there. Anger and an edge of hurt behind it.

"Rin," Kakashi murmured, using the same tender tone he did when talking to her or Obito at the memorial stone. He placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to pretend he hadn't been the one to make her upset in the first place. She didn't pull away, but he felt her desire to do so. It made his chest ache. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Rin's voice was cool, eyes challenging. Kakashi had never noticed the faint golden flecks nestled among the brown until now.

Kakashi almost raised a hand to brush Rin's cheeks but kept them where they were. "For many things but especially for being an ass this morning and coming home drunk last night." Kakashi wasn't sure if his words were having any effect. She crossed her arms over her chest and met his gaze without speaking. "You deserve better." He added in the silence.

"And yet, I picked you." Rin's lips curled into a smile and before the words fully sunk in, she continued. "Do you even remember how drunk you were?" Kakashi shook his head, not really wanting to bring up the memories. She grinned, sensing his uncertainty. "Stumbling over your feet and words, grinning and laughing like a fool. It was almost cute."

Kakashi bristled. "I am not cute." Frowning, he enunciated each word to make sure he got the point across.

"That's why I said almost," Rin laughed at Kakashi's expression and stepped closer. His breath caught in his throat as she raised herself on tiptoes to press her lips to his.

Kakashi's entire world trembled, threatening to shatter as his heart stopped. It took several moments for it to resume beating. When it did, it pounded erratically. Rin's lips were soft where they touched his and her body was warm when her arms circled around his waist. There was an undeniable urge to lose himself in her. It threatened to sweep his feet from under him as she coaxed him to respond. He trembled, longing to answer the fire she was spreading through his entire body. Kakashi pulled back, gasping for air and sanity.

"Mm," Rin purred with contentment. "Keep that up and I might forgive you."

"Might?" Kakashi choked the word out, feeling dizzy. Recovering, he smirked. "I thought I had to go train my team?"

Rin met his smile with one of her own. "Well, I'm sure you could be just a little bit late, sensei." Again, her voice curled around the title in a way that made Kakashi's knees weak. She pressed her hands against his chest and to his surprise, the healing glow blazed around her. His headache and nausea eased. "That should make it more manageable. But, consequences are a good teacher, so I'm not removing all the effects."

Kakashi dipped his head in a nod, silently thanking her. As the green nimbus faded, Rin's eyes opened wide then she smiled. It was the strangest expression, a cross between happiness and surprise, until she grabbed his hand and pressed it against her stomach. Then, Kakashi was sure his face matched hers. He almost jerked away when he felt something thump against his palm. It was feather light and he wondered if he'd imagined it. She adjusted his hand and pressed it more firmly in place. Once, twice, three times something pushed against his fingers. Kakashi's mouth dropped open and all other thoughts fled from his mind. "Is that…" He struggled to form the question, to accept what he was feeling.

"That," Rin laughed, releasing his hand, "is our baby." A sense of wonder washed through Kakashi as she hugged him close, face glowing. "He kicks wildly every time I heal you. I think he likes me taking care of his daddy," she mumbled against his chest. "I wish you'd stop giving me so many opportunities, though."

* * *

_Our baby_. _Daddy._ That thought was as foreign as Rin's kiss. Kakashi sagged against the wall of the shower, sighing. After nearly killing him twice in one morning, Rin had laughed, told him that he smelled of alcohol and sweat, then sent him to bathe. For as long as he could remember, Kakashi had been on his own. He made his own decisions about what he wanted to do and why, without bothering to consult anyone else. He didn't have to be on time if he didn't want to; he could stay out all night drinking if he desired. Not that he often did, but he could. Until now, he'd always had that freedom even if his discipline tempered it.

Kakashi shook his head, wondering when he'd started acting like an obedient little boy. Was this how husbands were supposed to behave? He grumbled to himself. It wasn't that Kakashi was entirely inexperienced with relationships; it was just that he didn't put forth the effort to maintain them. He didn't like the idea of needing someone. Everyone he'd ever needed or wanted had been ripped away from him. After Obito's death, Rin had been the closest thing to a real relationship he'd had. Right up until the moment he killed her.

Kakashi's breath hitched as the memory rolled through him. He rested his forearms against the wall beneath the shower head, letting the warm water run down the back of his neck in the same way the rain had done. That night had been the end of his world. Dying at the hands of the Kiri shinobi would have been just repayment for what he'd done to Rin. Kakashi had never learned whom or what had saved him, only that something had slaughtered all the enemy forces and left him for Konoha ninja to find. Even Minato hadn't been able to answer the question of what happened. Not that it mattered anymore; none of that had happened in this world.

"I set the alarm early enough to eat breakfast, not loiter in the shower all morning. Do you need some help?" At the sound of Rin's voice, Kakashi's head shot up, banging against the showerhead as he yelled that he didn't need help. Was she laughing? It definitely sounded like she was laughing. Kakashi didn't remember his Rin being this cruel but this version certainly enjoyed tormenting him.

Her threat was enough to get him moving, though. Kakashi finished showering and pulled on clean pants and a long sleeved shirt before wandering into the kitchen. Rin had prepared breakfast for him again and he felt a rush of gratitude. Between the alcohol last night and the shocks this morning, he needed something to settle his stomach. She had changed into jonin blues as well while he was in the shower. When he entered the kitchen, she frowned at him from beside the sink. Kakashi paused midstride, wondering what he'd done now. Relationships were difficult.

"We talked about this, Kakashi," she stalked toward him. He took an involuntary step back as she reached up and tugged his mask away. "You can play the mysterious jonin with everyone else, but not with me. Show the rest of the world whatever you want; I get the real you, that was our deal."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head and tried a smile. "Sorry, slipped my mind." He didn't remember making any such promise but maybe he had.

She huffed in frustration but let the matter drop along with the safety blanket that was his mask. Perhaps he should try smiling more. It seemed to work far better than saying the first thing that popped into his head. Breakfast was uncomfortable for him as he felt her eyes constantly on his face. He hadn't noticed it yesterday, so out of sorts from the abrupt changes, but today it was obvious. Kakashi was used to people staring at him, trying to determine what he was thinking, but he wasn't used to them being able to tell. This was going to take some getting used to.

* * *

Sakura dropped to her knees, panting and shaking. She was dirty, sweaty, bruised and exhausted. And it wasn't even lunch time yet. Despite all the missions they'd completed together and the multitude of training sessions, Sakura didn't think that Kakashi-sensei had ever pushed them this hard. Sasuke and Naruto were standing a few feet away from her, hands on knees and chests heaving as they tried to catch their breath.

Sasuke practically glowed with the dappling of sweat on his brow and the brilliant flush on his cheeks. She knew she should be paying attention to whatever sensei was saying but with Sasuke so close, it was impossible. He'd gotten close to landing a hit today. Even Kakashi looked worried as the Uchiha launched himself through a flurry of attacks that came within inches of his shoulder.

Sasuke was so cool. Unlike Ino, Sakura got to see it all the time when they were on missions or training. Inner Sakura gave a cry of triumph that her body was too tired to mimic. Not that she would have, of course. The raven-haired boy always looked at her with disdain when she let that side of herself show. As if sensing her thoughts, his dark eyes flicked to her face. Sakura gave him her best smile. "You're so talented, Sasuke," she gushed, shyly tucking a strand of pink hair behind her ear as she looked at him. He was the epitome of perfection.

"I didn't even hit him, Sakura," the Uchiha sighed, flipping his head back so his long bangs rearranged themselves artfully on his forehead. She practically swayed with how handsome he was. It had to be intentional, looking that gorgeous.

"You came close though," Kakashi-sensei crouched on his heels next to the trio, breathing hard though he wasn't quite panting like the rest of them. "You've improved a lot since last time we sparred. Have you been training with Itachi?"

A shadow passed over Sasuke's face and Sakura wanted to smack sensei and tell him to stop being insensitive. Everybody knew that Sasuke hated his older brother. Or, at least saw him as a challenge to overcome. Their father preferred the elder son, from what Sakura heard, though she couldn't imagine why. Sasuke was much better looking. Even so, it was cruel of Kakashi to compare them so obviously.

Sasuke's hand tightened into a fist that he pressed against his hip. "Shisui, actually. Itachi is much too busy to waste time working with me. Not that I need his help." They boy turned his smoldering gaze on the jonin.

Kakashi's single, visible eye narrowed for a moment then he nodded. Sweat stood out on the wedge of face that Sakura could see between his mask and headband. In addition to pushing them to their physical limits, it looked like sensei had done the same to himself. Early in the fight, none of them had been able to get close to him. He'd easily block their advances or use substitution to be somewhere else when they attacked. Four hours later, Kakashi had grown slower and less flashy with his movements. Sakura would have said he was as exhausted as his students but that seemed unlikely. He was a jonin after all, and they were the best of the best.

The silver haired man opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Naruto waving over his head and calling out. "Hatake-san, we're over here." The blond grinned and hurried over to where Rin was approaching them with a basket slung over one arm.

For a moment, Kakashi looked confused then his eye widened in surprise and he spun so quickly he nearly lost his balance. The man hurried to his wife and Sakura giggled. She hoped that once they were married, Sasuke would be just as excited when she surprised him with a visit. Sakura already had everything planned out. They'd get married after they'd both been raised to jonin and she'd work in the hospital while he worked in the village. They'd have a couple of kids, a boy first and then a girl, who would become ninja as well. And then…

"Sakura-chan, don't you want any?" The genin was startled out of her dream by Rin's voice and realized the woman was holding a rice ball out to her. Sakura blushed almost as pink as her hair and took the proffered lunch with a squeaked thank you.

"And you," Rin turned on Naruto and grinned, sweeping him up in a hug that spun his feet off the ground. "It's Rin, not Hatake-san." She ruffled the blonde boy's hair and offered him lunch. Laughing, she winked at Kakashi. "One grouchy, old, stick-in-the-mud, formal Hatake is enough."

Kakashi-sensei grunted as Rin approached him with the basket. He glanced up at his wife and Sakura wondered if his expression was more panic, nervousness, or happiness. Maybe all three. That stupid mask made it impossible for her to tell what he was thinking. The mask! Scrambling over to where Naruto and Sasuke were eating, she nudged them in the ribs and nodded her head toward Kakashi and Rin. The pair had moved away but they were still close enough to see. "He'll have to take it off to eat," Sakura whispered under her breath, green eyes locking on their faces. The three of them had tried dozens of times to get a look at his face, maybe this would be the time it finally worked.

The couple seemed to be discussing something, then Rin held up a rice ball. Sakura leaned forward unconsciously. Getting a glimpse of Kakashi's face would make Ino almost as jealous as Sakura getting to train with Sasuke every day. The mystery of what was under Kakashi's mask was something all the girls had speculated about. The man was shaking his head as Rin reached for the mask. Three mouths dropped open as Rin tugged at the clinging fabric that covered sensei's face.

* * *

"Rin," Kakashi mumbled, feeling both amused and exasperated as he caught her wrist. The woman was smiling with a playfulness he was recognizing as uniquely her. It was different from what he remembered of her personality but not in a bad way. His mind shied away from that thought; it felt too much like figuring out feelings.

The woman laughed and ducked in to kiss his almost exposed cheek, making it burn crimson, before releasing his mask to fall back to its usual place. "Well, if you ever need to get their attention, at least you know how." Kakashi glanced over his shoulder at his three students who were staring unblinkingly in his direction. Noticing his gaze, they hurried turned back to eating lunch. Kakashi wondered if Rin remembered how often Kushina had done this for their own team. The memory made him ache for those days, when things weren't so complicated. "Are you feeling better," she asked, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Kakashi considered the question. He was exhausted and the effects of his drinking were still nagging at the back of his mind. He wished he could blame his weakness on the alcohol and training last night but he feared it was more than that. He could remember dozens of jutsu he had picked up through his sharingan but it was difficult to get his body to comply. As a general rule, the kids weren't really giving him a test.

Sakura was intelligent but physically weak by comparison. Rin had been helping her develop her medical ninjutsu but in training like this, it wasn't much use. She had thrown a few kunai and shuriken at Kakashi but most of her time had been spent trying to work out a strategy to beat him. He imagined she had thought of several but the boys wouldn't listen to her. When that didn't work, she'd thrown herself into attacking with them. The pink-haired girl reminded Kakashi of Rin at the same age.

Naruto was quick and inventive with his jutsu. He still used shadow clones but they were more strategic than they had been at this stage in Kakashi's world. Though he hadn't realized how much Naruto had missed without Minato and Kushina in his life, Kakashi could see it now. The boy showed the unique and fiery temper of his mother once the calm influence of Minato's training faded. He would be focused until a plan fell apart, then he became unpredictable, wild even. Somehow, both of them bled through in his new fighting style.

Sasuke was much the same as Kakashi remembered. The boy was naturally talented, there was no denying that. His shuriken skill wasn't far off from what Kakashi remembered of Itachi in ANBU though Sasuke showed a fit of rage when his final flurry of kicks hadn't landed. The boy's reaction to Itachi had been unexpected as well. Kakashi jonin had hoped the brothers had managed some kind of peace here but it seemed they were destined to always be rivals.

Shaking the thoughts away, Kakashi nodded. "I'm fine, Rin. Thanks for lunch but I need to get these brats whipped into shape before the exams. See you later?" She smiled and nodded as Kakashi rounded on the kids, flinging three shuriken in their direction. Sakura leaped to the side, Sasuke back flipped, and Naruto squeaked in surprise and rolled out of the way. None of them got hit, which was a good sign.

Smiling beneath his mask, Kakashi surveyed Team Seven. "If none of you land a hit by the time we finish this evening, you're doing nothing but running laps tomorrow." That was enough for all three to rush him at once, all thoughts of strategy fleeing. Too bad for them, he'd already used a substitution and moved a safe distance away where he could observe them.

By the time the sun was sinking below the horizon, none of his team had even gotten close to Kakashi a second time. He'd let his guard down earlier with Sasuke but he made sure not to do so again. As dusk fell, he sent the three of them on their way, grumbling about the thought of physical exertion tomorrow as well. They would complain but they would do the work; each of them wanted to get stronger though they had their own reasons.

A full day of training left Kakashi just as exhausted as the genin but he could rectify that by pushing himself alongside the kids. Maybe they'd go mountain climbing and running tomorrow. What would Guy do in a situation like this? Probably far too many push-ups and handstand walks. Neither of which appealed to Kakashi. He was disciplined and though his body was weaker right now, he would make it stronger. If he was going to be a husband and father, weakness wasn't an option. Kakashi needed to be strong enough to protect his family.


	6. Splintered Memories

Days dragged into a week with only the variety of training to break the monotony. Kakashi spent every moment, from dawn to dusk, with Team Seven. Naruto's usually boundless energy was flagging and Sasuke's stoic demeanor had slipped somewhat under the training regime. Even Sakura looked like she might be reconsidering wanting to become a ninja. Kakashi noticed all of this in the vague way of half attention. Of course they were tired, but they were getting stronger and that was all that mattered.

Kakashi could feel the effects of the training as well, he was exhausted and sore almost constantly though he hid it well enough from his students. Rin had offered to heal his aching muscles at least twice, but he refused. They needed get used to the stress he was putting on them. Kakashi knew Rin was annoyed with him for the lack of time they were spending together. He fell into bed almost as soon as he got home every night, sometimes without dinner. He told her he needed to get his team ready for the exams and left it at that.

The genin were no happier with his undivided attention than Rin was. Today, they appeared especially annoyed. It was late afternoon and the four of them stood in the rain beneath the canopy of forest. Sweat steamed off the kids as they took an unsanctioned break from their training. Kakashi didn't have the heart to push them again; he could spare five minutes to let them catch their breath.

"I can't climb one more tree, sensei," Naruto wheezed. "Either with my chakra or my hands and feet." The blond threw himself into a heap on the ground then flopped onto his back, staring up at the damp green leaves.

"When it gets difficult on a mission will you lie down and say you're too tired?" Kakashi glanced at the boy from the corner of his eye and saw Naruto grimace.

The blond groaned. "This isn't a mission. You've been running us ragged for days, Kakashi-sensei." He was on the verge of asking for Kakashi to let them off training when Sakura saved them all from another ten laps around the village. Kakashi was beginning to feel a bit like Guy with all this physical training.

"What he's trying to say, Kakashi-sensei, is we want to know more about what to expect in the exams. They're only a week away and while you've been training us like crazy, we still don't know what will happen." Sakura gave him a small, half smile that he'd come to recognize as her way of trying to soothe the boys. His team gave her a lot of opportunities to practice that smile.

Kakashi glanced up at the sky. After training most of the day, even the jonin wasn't sure he had much energy left. They'd been working on focusing chakra to climb trees and leap from branch to branch. Team Seven had raced through the forest to various points Kakashi had set up, either trying to be the first one there or trying to capture him. Sasuke had come close once and despite the hours they'd been working, there had only been two mishaps. In the first, Naruto lost his footing and crashed into the ground before Kakashi could get to him. Sakura had been pleased to show off her minor medical skill by healing a cut on his arm. The second mistake had come when Sakura took a wrong turn and never showed up at their meeting point. Kakashi had to find the girl and bring her back to the group. All in all, it had been a successful day. Maybe they did deserve a break.

"It changes every time they have the exam," Kakashi said, finally getting around to answering Sakura's question. He leaned one shoulder against a tree and slid his hands into his pockets. "The whole point is that I can't tell you what to expect. You'll probably have a written test of some sort to start with."

Naruto groaned and threw up his hands. "A written test? We're not academy students anymore. Why can't we just wow them with our jutsu?"

"You're not academy students anymore," Kakashi agreed. "But you are still learning, and the proctors need to know you can work through complex problems."

"Or in your case, read the questions at all," Sakura piped up with a grin. Naruto protested that he could read, he just didn't care to, and Sakura stuck out her tongue at him. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Kakashi shook his head at the trio, talking over their teasing. "There will probably be some kind of survival test where you will have to work as a team. Then, if you make it that far, there will be individual matches to showcase your abilities."

"If we make it that far?" Sasuke asked, turning coolly to look at Kakashi. The Uchiha never showed much emotion but there was an undercurrent of nervousness in his voice. He wanted to be as strong as Itachi; Sasuke had been chasing that shadow all of his young life.

Kakashi gazed at each of his students long enough for them to shift uncomfortably and turn away. "You need to know going into them, these exams aren't a joke. Ninja have been seriously injured and even killed during these tests. Work on your teamwork, study and practice your individual skills, and do anything you can to make yourselves stronger."

"You're just saying that to scare us," Naruto grumbled, sitting up to ruffle fingers through his sweaty hair. "Right, Kakashi-sensei?'

"You knew they were dangerous, Naruto." Sasuke rolled his eyes skyward. "There have been tons of stories about the accidents. Remember? Everyone was talking about that kid last year who was crushed by the earth jutsu. He was half above the ground and half below when it snapped back together suddenly, almost cutting him in half." Sakura blanched at his words.

Sasuke reached down to brush something off his foot and his shirt slid back enough to reveal the bruise he'd gotten two days ago when they were sparring. It had deepened in the center, with three prongs, almost like the tomoe of a sharingan, visible against his pale skin. The longer Kakashi looked at it, the clearer the pattern became.

Kakashi's vision doubled and the jonin saw Sasuke kneeling, lines of sealing jutsu snaking down and across his back. He could almost remember casting the jutsu then slamming his hand down on the boy's shoulder, making Sasuke scream in agony. The image overlapped with the version of Sasuke standing in front of him. Kakashi sagged against the tree, images spinning through his mind. Smoke, explosions, screaming, panic, blood. Kakashi felt sick and dizzy, then he was falling. His knees hit the wet ground, but he caught himself with his hands before slamming face first into the grass.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura cried out, leaping to his side. "What's wrong?" The pink-haired girl had one hand on his back and the other against his chest, helping him sit up. The soft green healing glow surrounded them. Her medical skills were meager at best, but training with Rin was making her stronger. Sakura pressed her hands against him and Kakashi could feel the faint questing of her chakra as she searched him for wounds. If only the world would stop spinning, he could tell her he was fine.

Naruto was back on his feet, hopping from one to the other nervously. Finally, he spoke. "I'm going to get Rin." The boy prepared to spring into the trees, even though not ten minutes earlier he'd claimed the inability to draw chakra for training. Kakashi would have smiled if he could've drawn a breath. One word penetrated the haze. Rin.

Kakashi grabbed the back of Naruto's jacket. "No, I'm fine." He gasped around the pain in his chest. "I don't need her. Just need a moment." It was enough to stop Naruto, though Sakura was looking between them worriedly.

It took a while for the dizziness to pass and when it did, Kakashi realized Sakura was still attempting to hold him up with her small hands. "I'm fine, Sakura," he smiled and the girl squeaked, releasing him. From the expressions on their faces, Kakashi knew that he'd frightened his students. Even Sasuke was showing surprise. It wasn't easy to watch someone you thought of as unbreakable start to crumble.

Despite feeling like he could collapse again, Kakashi forced himself to stand. "Why don't we call it a day? We've been training hard and we'll start back at it tomorrow." None of his students moved or spoke. They just looked at him, then each other.

"I still think you should let me get Rin. It's not normal to collapse like that, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto mumbled, blue eyes worried. Sasuke was nodding in agreement.

"Look, I'm perfectly fine." Kakashi made himself walk up the tree he'd been using for support, flaring chakra in the bottom of his feet. "See?"

There were different reactions among his students. Sakura was watching him closely, looking for any sign of weakness or any way that she could help. Seeing him use chakra again seemed to settle the boys considerably, though. The pair was looking speculative, and if Kakashi knew them at all, it was for entirely different reasons. Sasuke wanted to train on his own and Naruto wanted to eat or find someone to play a prank on. They only needed a little prodding, now.

"It's still early enough that you might catch Shisui," Kakashi offered to Sasuke with an eye-creasing smile. "I don't think he's out of the village on a mission at the moment."

The black-haired boy nodded and remained silent, unmoving.

"Well if we don't have to train, I'm going to get some ramen. Do you want to come with me Sakura-chan?" Naruto grinned, looking less exhausted and more like himself now that he was sure Kakashi wasn't going to die. Even his cheeky smile was back.

Sakura shook her head and when she didn't immediately snip at Naruto, Kakashi knew she was still upset. He glanced at her, then the two boys, and waved his hand. "I'm feeling better now, so if you want to continue training instead," the last word wasn't even out of his mouth before Naruto and Sasuke scattered.

Though she looked nervous that he might make her train, Sakura stuck firmly by Kakashi's side. He crouched down to be at eye level for her. "I'm fine, Sakura. You don't need to worry." He put a hand on her shoulder and eye-smiled, watching the apprehension begin to fade away. She didn't look entirely convinced, though. "Too much training can catch up with the best of us. You won't tell Rin on me, will you?"

Sakura frowned at Kakashi for a moment before shaking her head. "You promise you're okay, sensei?"

"I promise," Kakashi smiled a second time. "Surely, you have something better to do with your free time? Get out of here or we're going to run some laps." That was all the convincing Sakura needed.

Once he was alone, Kakashi exhaled and tried to play back the memory that had crumpled him. It refused to cooperate and there was a nagging sense of unease in the back of his mind. Something about the chunin exams and Sasuke screaming. Kakashi could taste vomit in the back of his throat, smell smoke, and hear screaming. Except, he couldn't. The rain pattering against the leaves was all he could hear and the scent of damp ground overwhelmed him. Whatever memories he was dredging up, they weren't real.

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair and glanced around him. The jonin was nearly as exhausted as the kids but he knew that wasn't the reason he'd collapsed. The extensive training schedule had kept him from thinking too much about his past but now that he tried to recall specific memories, he couldn't. That was almost as frightening as the gaps from this world.

Shuddering, he forced himself to walk back toward the village. He wasn't going to find any answers standing in the rain.

* * *

Kakashi wandered aimlessly through the forest, trying and failing to bring up specific memories. The most painful ones remained, but he shied away from those. Despite knowing he needed to rest, Kakashi stayed away from the village until dusk fell. Coming home earlier than usual would only bring a barrage of questions from Rin and he didn't want to face that. If nothing else, at least he was consistent with his schedule. This was about the time he usually let the genin run home for dinner so parents didn't come looking for them. Though, most of the families would have just assumed training ran late and not worried. They were shinobi after all.

Despite the time, Kakashi didn't walk toward home. Instead, he approached the Hokage's office and was only partially surprised to see the light still on. Minato always did take his duties seriously. Raido and Genma were waiting outside the door and gave Kakashi an appraising glance without speaking. The silver-haired jonin must have been a familiar sight because the latter knocked and pushed the door open as he approached, allowing the Hokage to view the visitor.

"Come in, Kakashi," Minato smiled just like Naruto, easily and often. Even though his desk was scattered with half a dozen papers and scrolls, and he was clearly working later than should, Minato gave Kakashi his full attention. "What brings you here so late?"

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi bowed, aware of his rain-heavy clothes dripping onto the floor beneath him.

Minato shook his head, still smiling. "Minato is fine, Kakashi. We've known each other long enough for that. You always were too formal, even as a kid."

Kakashi managed a smile and crossed the room to sink into one of the chairs on the opposite side of the Hokage's desk. Minato watched him for a moment, then, sensing that Kakashi needed time, went back to perusing the report that he'd been looking at when Kakashi entered. He signed off on the bottom of whatever it was and placed it on an already sizable pile to his right. As he watched, Kakashi thought being Hokage seemed like a lot of work. He definitely didn't envy Minato the position; being a jonin was easier.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or are we going to sit in silence all night?" Minato's voice wasn't unkind as he laced his fingers together and brought his blue eyes up to Kakashi's visible one. When his student still didn't find words, Minato guessed at what was bothering him. "Is this about the baby? Kakashi, you're going to be a great dad. I was terrified when I found out Kushina was pregnant. It's perfectly normal to be frightened."

"I think you should cancel the chunin exams," Kakashi blurted, intentionally avoiding his emotions about becoming a father. Unbidden, the memory of that tiny presence kicking against his hand rose in his mind and Kakashi had to swallow hastily.

Minato's eyes widened. "That," he shook his head. "That was maybe the last thing that I expected you to say. It's a little late to be cancelling things. The first test is less than a week away."

Kakashi could still hear Sasuke screaming in the back of his mind but the sensation was disconnected from anything concrete. He'd been sealing something, but what? Why couldn't he remember? It had to be a memory from his original world. Surely one of his students screaming, the sight of blood, and the smell of smoke should have impressed themselves strongly enough for him to remember something but the images were too broken to reconcile. Kakashi dropped his head into his hands and felt like screaming in frustration.

"Kakashi?" Minato's voice was gentle. He could see the struggle in Kakashi's eye and the way he held himself.

"Something bad is going to happen," Kakashi said lamely, wishing he could provide more information. The jonin had never been the type to worry about things he couldn't control, but this was different. Kakashi hadn't been able to protect anyone in his own world. He had Minato's family to think about, his own, his students, Obito. There were so many people he needed to protect. Would he be enough this time?

Minato's frown deepened. "Have you heard or seen something out of the ordinary? It's not like you to be so on edge."

"I haven't," Kakashi admitted, a sigh rumbling in his chest.

Kakashi could tell Minato that he lost his memories prior to two weeks ago. Kakashi could say that he remembered a world where terrible things happened to everyone he tried to protect. Kakashi could tell his sensei, the one person he looked up to more than anyone else in the world, that he'd let one teammate die then killed the other. And then Minato and Kushina died because he wasn't strong enough to fight when the Nine Tails attacked. Kakashi could unload all of those burdens and let them go like they never happened. Except. . . he couldn't and they had. The words stuck in his throat before he could form them.

Twice now Kakashi had run to his sensei like a little boy holding a scraped knee, asking someone to make it better despite knowing there was no quick fix. He couldn't bring himself to tell Minato what he was thinking, couldn't face the implications. Either Kakashi was losing his mind or he was losing everything he cared about a second time. The emotions bubbled through the clenched grip he held them with. There was fear of the unknown, anger at not being able to remember, and a vague pain he couldn't place.

Minato rubbed a hand over the side of his neck and sighed. "Do you have any evidence of a threat? Something the ANBU might have missed?" Kakashi desperately wished he did, but he couldn't arrange his memory into a cohesive thought.

When he didn't answer, Minato continued. "Look, I know that you've been pushing your genin hard in preparation for the exams. Even Naruto hasn't had the energy to get in trouble since you started driving them from morning to night. Maybe you're overdoing it?"

"Maybe," Kakashi agreed reluctantly even though he knew that wasn't the real issue. Minato looked at him with that calming gaze, telling him that everything would be okay. There was a difference between this man and the one Kakashi remembered. Here, Minato carried the weight of the entire village on his shoulders and had for years, ever since he took the title of Hokage. He had a son and a wife, students, and friends to protect. Kakashi couldn't bear to add another weight to that unless he could provide proof.

Unaware of Kakashi's darkness, Minato smiled. "I'm sure your genin are ready for the exam. And I'm not just saying that because Naruto is one of them."

"They are." Kakashi's answer was automatic. His three students were competent, more than skilled enough to take the chunin exams. "They've grown a lot."

Minato laughed softly. "They weren't an easy team to take on with both Naruto and Sasuke together. Itachi's little brother and the Hokage's son. There were a lot of expectations there, still are." Minato smiled affectionately, thinking about his son. "I'm not sure any of the other jonin could have handled the pair of them.

"Do you remember Naruto's fifth birthday? You got him kunai. I thought Rin and Kushina were both going to kill you." The Hokage chuckled at the memory. "Naruto cut himself and Sasuke within the first ten minutes of having them. It's a wonder they became friends."

The pain in Kakashi's chest redoubled and he tried to smile. It wasn't genuine enough to reach his eyes. "They're good kids. They just need work on their teamwork."

"Not unlike you and Obito back then," Minato smiled, then brought them back to the earlier topic. "Take a couple of days off training and rest, Kakashi. Let Rin work with them on chakra control. Sakura is probably the only one with any ability for medical ninjutsu but it wouldn't hurt the boys to practice that, in addition to their physical training. You've done well with them; stop worrying so much."

Kakashi nodded numbly, unable to argue in the face of so much optimism. He thanked Minato for his time and left without saying any of the things he'd planned to say. Ignoring the darkness and rain pelting down, Kakashi made his way through the streets of Konoha. He knew where his feet were carrying him long before the gravestones came into view. Kakashi felt the familiar ache of loss settle in his chest as he looked over the deserted cemetery, noticing the glisten of rain on the stones. His vision blurred then duplicated, dozens of people appearing around him. Nearly the whole village was there and robed in black. A funeral.

Pain arced through Kakashi and he collapsed under the weight of grief, thinking of Minato. He didn't want to remember this, not again. He had relived this memory too many times to count. This time, however, the image was slightly off. He wasn't standing between Genma and Guy, as he remembered; he was standing behind Naruto and those blue eyes were looking at him for answers. There weren't two photographs mocking him from the pedestal, there was only one and it was too blurry to make out. The memory faded as the one of Sasuke had, depositing him back into cold, sodden reality. He drew a shaky breath and let the pain swirl through him as the rain ran down his neck.

Kakashi slammed his fist into the ground then pushed himself to his feet. Feeling the burden of his failure, he brushed fingertips against Sakumo's grave. "I swear I'll save them this time, Dad."

* * *

After Kakashi left, Minato sat quietly in his office, paperwork forgotten. It was dark outside and he should probably head home or he was going to see another display of Kushina's temper. Not that he minded, not really, Minato was used to her fiery side. What he wasn't used to, was this somber, thoughtful Kakashi wrapped in his own hurt, and it was definitely hurt. Minato had known Kakashi more than half his life and even with the mask, he could read the man's emotions. What he couldn't figure out was what was bothering the jonin. Kakashi was probably nervous about the baby but there seemed to be something more that was just slightly off.

Frowning, Minato reached down and brushed his fingers against one of the three seals on the inside of his left wrist, allowing a trickle of chakra to activate it. Its twin would begin to tingle, alerting its bearer that Minato needed them. The Hokage barely pushed any chakra into the seal. The amount used would affect how strongly the other person felt the burn of the mark. This activation was a request, not a command.

Even so, Obito appeared within moments. The Uchiha was in full ANBU gear, including the white cat mask that he favored. The ears were red on the inside and there were three wavy streaks of the same color over the left eye. Crimson flames spread along the right side, encompassing that eye and when his sharingan was activated, it was a terrifying display. The man's dark hair was wet and rain dappled the porcelain mask. Clearly Obito had been outside when Minato sent his request.

"Hokage-sama," Obito bowed, voice deeper than it usually was when he wasn't in uniform.

"Have there been any unusual movements around the village?" Minato asked, skipping the pleasantries. He doubted there was any trouble brewing that he wasn't aware of but it never hurt to be cautious. Situations could change quickly and it wasn't like Kakashi to be paranoid.

Obito shook his head. "Nothing to report, Hokage-sama."

That was as Minato had suspected. "Obito?" He waited for the man to remove his mask, a sign they were talking as friends, not Hokage and ANBU captain. Once his face was visible, Minato could read the alertness in every feature. Obito was a cat prepared to pounce at the slightest provocation. The mask fit him well. "Do you know of any problems between Rin and Kakashi?"

Surprise flickered across Obito's expression. "I saw them today and both appeared physically well. If that's what you are asking?" His voice was careful but Minato caught the trace of emotion the boy tried to smother.

Minato let the quiet work between them. Though Obito was a brutally efficient killer, he had been Minato's student once upon a time. His sensei knew that he disliked silence, like a boy caught in the middle of a prank. When it was just the two of them, Obito would fil the silence with more information if given enough time. Despite that habit, the ANBU stared silently at a fixed point above Minato's head. "Obito," he prompted gently. "Is there something I need to be concerned about?"

"No, Hokage-sama," Obito's gaze didn't shift.

Minato inclined his head, accepting the half-truth. "You'll tell me if there is?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Obito exhaled and finally brought his gaze to Minato's. It didn't reveal anything.

"I want the ANBU to double their sweeps through the forest leading up to the exams. I don't want anything to move out there without us knowing about it." Minato waited for the nod then dismissed Obito.

Once he was alone, Minato leaned back in his chair and sighed, hoping Kakashi wasn't breaking. For all his strength, there was something fragile in Kakashi. It was unlike the silver-haired man to give into fear but there had definitely been undercurrents of it in his posture. It was probably nothing, but Minato wasn't going to take any chances with the chunin exams. Not when Naruto was competing this time.


	7. Jumping to Conclusions

"You're not going today." Rin's voice was unyielding as she sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at her husband. Kakashi's face was flushed with a fever and he was shivering despite his best efforts. The medical-nin's hand touched the warmth of his forehead and she frowned. "I mean it, Kakashi."

The silver-haired man groaned and sat up, swaying only a little. "Yes, I am. Rin, I've got less than a week to get them ready." His voice was hoarse and thick, eyes bloodshot.

Even though Kakashi had been married less than three weeks that he remembered, he knew it wasn't a good sign when his wife crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows that way. "If you aren't too ill, get ready and go then." There were undertones of a challenge in Rin's voice.

Kakashi threw off the blankets and another shudder ran through his body when he attempted to stand. He locked his knees to stay upright and took a step. Three stumbles later, Kakashi crashed to the floor and Rin didn't catch him. He grunted and pushed himself up onto his knees as the room tilted and another chill almost dropped him back to his chest. Rin didn't move; she sat perfectly still, watching him. Kakashi felt his cheeks burn from more than fever. Getting out of bed probably wasn't the best idea he'd ever had.

"Well?" Rin wasn't amused but she wasn't totally heartless either. She walked over and slid her arms under Kakashi's to help him get back to his feet.

"You could heal me," Kakashi said as Rin guided him back to the bed. He fell on it with a soft whimper. The man looked pathetic with the rosy cheeks, red eyes, and a shivering body that curled in on itself. His fever had come on quickly during the night and she had noticed as soon as she woke.

Rin shook her head and threw Kakashi's words from earlier in the week back at him. "Your body needs to get used to the stress you've been placing on it. Healing something that isn't an actual injury will only encourage weakness." Kakashi coughed and Rin rested a hand on his chest. "You shouldn't have spent half of last night outside in the rain, either."

"Isn't that an old wives' tale?" Kakashi opened one eye.

"I don't know; does it feel like an old wives' tale?" Rin tried hard not to smile as she stood up and walked to the bathroom, getting a damp cloth and a glass of water.

When Rin came back to the bed, Kakashi had stretched out and closed his eyes, body demanding rest. She brushed the hair away from his forehead and pressed the cool cloth against the skin. "Take today off. You've been pushing yourself too hard."

"I have to go tell my students that I won't be there," Kakashi mumbled, struggling to sit up. Rin pressed a hand against his chest, holding him still.

"No, you don't. I'll work with them today while you rest." Before Kakashi could argue, Rin tucked the blankets around him like a child. "Peace and quiet will do you good."

Kakashi groaned. "I might be dying, you know," he complained, already half asleep. "You'd feel bad about leaving me if I were dying."

Rin laughed softly and brushed her hand against Kakashi's cheek. "I would, but you aren't dying; I checked. You just need to sleep." She eased another stream of chakra into his body to help him rest and Kakashi sighed, nestling deeper against the pillows as his breathing leveled out. "I love you, you silly, stubborn man." When he didn't answer, even to tense up the way he had started doing when she said it lately, Rin knew he was asleep.

* * *

"He's going to give us some stupid excuse about a black cat crossing his path or something," Naruto complained. Sakura ignored him, watching the path in silence. Kakashi-sensei was almost an hour late. Normally, his tardiness wouldn't have been cause for alarm as it was part of his personality, but for the past week, sensei had been on time every single day.

Despite Kakashi-sensei's reassurances, Sakura was still more than a little worried that something was wrong with him. Jonin didn't just collapse for no reason. Half an hour after leaving yesterday, the girl had gone back to double check that he was okay but she couldn't find the man anywhere. Only her promise kept Sakura from rushing to tell Rin what had happened. If Kakashi-sensei gave her any reason to doubt today, she was going to have to break her word. Maybe he needed to go to the hospital for a few days.

Naruto bounded off the railing of the bridge with a shout, startling Sakura from her thoughts. "Rin-san!"

"Well, if it isn't my favorite troublemaker," Rin laughed, returning Naruto's hug before disentangling herself to walk toward the more reserved students.

"And my healing prodigy." Sakura blushed despite herself when Rin touched her shoulder then approached their final teammate.

Sasuke was feigning indifference while Rin grinned down at the dark-haired boy. "Don't worry, I didn't forget my little Uchiha raincloud either." From anyone else, the words would have earned a glare, but Rin had a way of disarming Kakashi's students. The corner of Sasuke's mouth curled into an almost smile before he caught himself and rolled his eyes instead.

"Where's Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked around his grin at the way Rin and Sasuke interacted with each other.

"Kakashi wasn't feeling well, so he sent me to train with you guys today." At Rin's explanation, Sakura exchanged a look with Sasuke, who shook his head almost imperceptibly. "You've done a lot of physical training over the past few days, so today, we're going to work on chakra control." Before Naruto could blurt out that they already knew everything about that, Rin continued. "I know you can water walk and climb trees with your chakra, but we're working on specific control."

The boys grumbled faintly as Rin led them over the bridge to a relatively secluded spot by the river. Sakura watched nervously as the woman lowered herself to the ground with a little difficulty. Being pregnant had to make sitting on the ground uncomfortable but Rin never complained. She kept smiling at the trio with the expression that rarely left her lips. _She's good for Kakashi_ , Sakura thought suddenly as she settled next to Rin. Sensei was so serious and Rin so carefree, that they balanced each other perfectly. Worry tickled her mind again but Sakura ignored it for now.

Rin drew a kunai from the pouch that she was wearing on her thigh and pushed up the left sleeve of her shirt. After making sure she had their attention, Rin slid the sharpened blade across her pale skin. A crimson ribbon appeared and Sakura and Naruto gasped, while Sasuke's eyes widened at the blood dappling her arm. A soft green glow surrounded Rin's other hand as she pressed against the cut. When she removed it, only a trail of blood remained. "You may never become medical ninja, but this type of chakra control can be useful for learning other jutsu.

"If you start by healing yourself, it will be easier since you're already familiar with the patient." Naruto chuckled but Rin's words were serious. "When you heal someone, whether friend or stranger, you have to meld your energy perfectly with theirs to speed the recovery. You can't just rush in pouring chakra, like water, over a wound. You have to move in sync with what they can supply, as well as what they can receive. It's a delicate relationship between healer and patient. The better you know the person you're helping, the easier the healing becomes."

Rin nodded to Sakura who looked down at her arm, biting her lip again. She didn't really want to cut herself but it couldn't be that painful, could it? Sakura followed Rin's lead, wincing only a little, and both boys copied Sakura on principle alone, opening cuts on their forearms.

"Now, focus your chakra on the wound. Feel the damage done and your body trying to knit itself back together. Press your chakra into the gaps, aiding the renewal." Sakura's wound was already closed and the pink-haired girl was watching the boys with more than a hint of smug satisfaction when Rin turned to her.

"I didn't expect you to have any trouble with this. Want to try something a little more advanced than the boys?" Sakura nodded eagerly at Rin's question. The woman smiled and took her student's smaller hands, placing them on her stomach. "I want you to see if you can sense the baby."

Before she could add anything else, Sakura jerked her hands away. "What if I hurt it?"

"You won't," Rin laughed. "I promise. See if you can separate my body from his. Look for his heartbeat; you should be able to hear both of ours. It's not entirely different from examining an unconscious patient. This time, however, you'll have two sets of information to deal with. You'll have to focus, shutting out what doesn't matter to find what does."

Sakura frowned and tentatively reached out with her chakra. She had learned a little about recognizing injuries she couldn't see, but there was still so much more to learn. Closing her eyes to aid with concentration, the girl began to sort through the information available to her. Rin's heartbeat was strong, drumming in her ears, and Sakura could hear the soft inhalation of every breath. There was a faint spark of pain in Rin's back but the woman shifted and it disappeared. Sakura let out the breath she was holding, focusing on Rin's heartbeat to center herself. Once she could mimic it perfectly in her mind and feel the thumping against her chakra, Sakura expanded her reach, looking for something else.

Hours flew by before Rin called a halt to their efforts, leaving all three students completely spent, as if they'd been running the entire time. Neither of the boys had managed to close their cuts and Naruto had blood smeared halfway up his arm from flinging it around in frustration. Rin closed both wounds then sent the boys to wash off their arms in the river. Sakura had already cleaned hers off with a handkerchief.

Rin turned toward Sakura. "So, were you able to sense him at all?"

Sakura shook her head, frowning. "I couldn't. There's just so much to work through. It's difficult to know what is important and what isn't."

"You'll learn." Rin smiled and started to stand up. Sakura jumped to her feet, offering an arm, which the woman took thankfully, allowing the assistance to get off the ground. "This isn't quite as easy as it used to be," Rin laughed.

The pink-haired girl turned to where Sasuke and Naruto were standing by the river and gathered her courage. "Rin-sensei, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" Rin frowned at the seriousness in Sakura's voice.

The girl glanced toward Sasuke once more and thought of him shaking his head. He might be angry at her, but she couldn't not tell Rin. It might be important. "Yesterday, when we were training, Kakashi-sensei collapsed." The surprise that entered Rin's eyes revealed that she hadn't known. "He just, well he fell to his knees, and it took him a while to get back up. I couldn't find anything wrong with him but I don't really know what to look for and he was—"

Rin touched her shoulder and Sakura's green eyes came up to meet her brown ones. "He's fine, Sakura. I healed him this morning before coming to meet you. Kakashi is stubborn, and sometimes, he forgets that he's human like the rest of us." She smiled and for some reason, Sakura found it far more reassuring than Kakashi's

Before Sakura could add anything else, Rin called the group back together. "You guys are done for the day. This type of work is exhausting, even if you hadn't already been pushing so hard lately. Take the afternoon to rest, replenish your strength, and be ready to work again tomorrow morning."

* * *

The shadows of the tree concealed Obito's body though he wasn't trying to hide. Since speaking with the Hokage, he felt on edge and couldn't put his finger on why. He was off duty today, wearing the black and green of a normal jonin rather than the pale grey of ANBU. Despite that, Obito was still working. One dark eye watched Kakashi's students walk back toward the village. He hadn't been listening the whole time, but he heard Sakura tell Rin that Kakashi had collapsed yesterday. Had that been what sparked Minato's questions last night?

Obito shook his head, waited until Rin started to cross the bridge, then moved. One moment he'd been resting in the tree, the next he was walking beside her. The woman didn't miss a step. "I'm impressed," he said, smiling.

"I'm a shinobi. It takes more than you to scare me." Rin laughed, tucking her kunai away. She had drawn it from muscle memory alone, before her mind completely registered the danger next to her. Under any other circumstances, Obito would have been deemed a threat. To Rin, however, he was still the boy she needed to protect, rather than the other way around.

"I haven't forgotten that," Obito smiled and walked beside Rin in companionable silence. She was slower but even though she was pregnant, his former teammate didn't appear weaker. Obito didn't know how she managed to be deadly and adorable all at the same time, but she did. They were nearly back to town when he broke the silence. "Can I take you to lunch?"

Rin laughed. "I was just getting ready to ask you that."

"You were going to ask if I could take you to lunch?" Obito asked skeptically and Rin nodded, smiling. There was something about the way she said it, the forced lightness, that told him something was wrong. Her tone was just slightly off. "Well then, where am I taking you?"

Rin grinned and grabbed Obito's hand, dragging him toward the Korean Barbeque restaurant. Once they were seated, he looked at her, really looked at her. There were faint dark circles under Rin's eyes and she seemed tired. The purple markings that set her apart as a child had changed as she grew older. The newer, thinner lines followed the curves of her cheeks, curled by her jaw, then disappeared into the collar of her shirt. When he'd asked her why she changed them, Rin had shrugged and said she was a different person now. He hadn't pressed.

The woman glanced around the room, eyes never settling on anything for longer than a moment. Trying to pull her back to him, Obito spoke. "So why does Kakashi have you playing sensei to his brats today?" There was more than a little affection in Obito's voice on the word brats. Sensei's son and Itachi's little brother were kids that he'd watched grow up, and he knew Rin had a soft place for Sakura.

"Kakashi wasn't feeling well," Rin responded, dropping a couple of pieces of meat on the grill. Obito noticed that she didn't mention what Sakura had revealed that morning. "I offered to take over for the day. He's been pushing them hard; I think they enjoyed the break." Her smile was familiar and easy but Obito felt the nagging silence of something unspoken.

It took nearly an hour, and most of their meal, before Rin brought it up. "Do you think Kakashi has been acting strange lately?"

The words almost echoed Minato's but Obito tried to downplay it. "Stranger than normal?" He asked. When Rin didn't laugh, or even look up, he reached out to touch her hand. She jumped and he was shocked to see tears rolling silently down her cheeks. His heart clenched and for a moment, Obito wanted nothing so much as to take her in his arms. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Can we get out of here?" Rin rubbed her cheek with a hand, brushing the tears away as if they'd never been. Without waiting for his answer, she pushed her chair back and hurried outside. It was as if she couldn't stand to sit still for a minute longer. Obito tossed money on the table without checking that it was the right amount and followed her.

Obito found Rin leaning against the wall, pulling in deep breaths. "Rin? Talk to me. What's wrong?" Rather than answering, she pushed off the wall and gripped Obito's sleeve, pulling him behind her through the streets. When they reached a bench that offered an unobstructed view of Hokage Mountain, Rin stopped and sat down without speaking. Feeling more on edge than before any mission, Obito waited. The silence stretched and he started counting the stones on the ground in front of them to keep from losing his mind. He reached seventy-two before she spoke.

"Obito, do you think Kakashi would be unfaithful to me?" Rin didn't look at him.

Of all the things that Obito thought might be wrong with Rin and Kakashi, this was the last. Kakashi was loyal to a fault, and Obito couldn't imagine that he would allow anyone close enough to fall in love with them. _Cheating isn't just about love_. The thought rattled loose in his mind, but Obito caught it before it could escape his lips. "Why would you think that, Rin?"

Rin shrugged. "He's been different lately. He's gone pretty much all day, every day. Kakashi says he's training his team, and I guess he is, but I don't understand why it's suddenly so urgent. Even when he is home, it's like he's somewhere else." There was a faint sniffling sound and Rin leaned forward, her hair a curtain between their faces, but Obito knew she was crying.

"I don't think he would," Obito answered after a few moments of consideration. "He loves you. I can't imagine that Kakashi would ever betray you, for any reason."

"I know, but lately, it's like he's a completely different man from the one I married." Rin shivered despite the temperature and Obito almost put his arm around her. "He doesn't joke or laugh like he used to. Not with me, anyway. He isn't even interested in me anymore." Obito almost asked what she meant until the pieces clicked into place. He blushed. Kakashi and Rin together was definitely not something Obito wanted to think about.

"Kakashi wouldn't cheat on you," Obito repeated. He couldn't imagine that Kakashi would ever love or even want to be that close to anyone else. He was a man of secrets and privacy. Rin, Minato, Obito, and a few others had been allowed close, but beyond that, Kakashi didn't have many friends. "Have you talked to Kakashi about this?"

Rin shook her head and sighed. "I've hardly seen him with this new training schedule. When I do, he's either showering, eating, or sleeping. There's little time for anything else."

"You should talk to him about this, not me." Obito tucked one leg beneath himself and turned to face Rin. "You two need to figure this out together." He paused and grinned. "For what it's worth though, I think he's probably just distracted and doesn't realize he's being an ass."

That got a small laugh as Rin lifted her head. Her brown eyes were softer for the tears and her cheeks were pink with emotion but she was smiling. "Thanks, Obito." He returned her smile as they lapsed back into comfortable silence, each with their own thoughts.

* * *

The apartment was quiet when Rin entered but that wasn't surprising; Kakashi probably hadn't felt like getting out of bed all day. He should be feeling better now, though. The chakra she had used would have cured the fever within a matter of hours, though he probably still felt weak. Rin walked into the bedroom and found Kakashi sitting in bed, staring out the window. It was so out of character to see him sitting still that Rin almost worried. Then, she recalled Sakura's words. _Kakashi collapsed yesterday._

Rin meant to ask how he was feeling, but when she opened her mouth something different came out. "Why didn't you tell me you collapsed during training yesterday?"

Wariness leapt into Kakashi's eyes as he ran a hand through his silver hair. "Because you didn't need to know."

Rin felt anger and hurt jump to the forefront of her mind. "Kakashi, that isn't the point. When did you start keeping secrets from me?"

"It's hardly a secret, Rin. There was no reason to worry you." Kakashi shook the blankets off and stood up, trying to end the fight before it started.

"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" _Anything else you're hiding_ , Rin wondered silently.

Kakashi's normally slouched posture straightened, shoulders rising as he picked up a shirt. Without answering, he pulled the garment on, keeping his back to her. They had been married long enough for Rin to know he was angry even though he didn't speak. "Well?" Rin crossed her arms, feeling the fury of unasked questions and fear building in her chest.

"Well what?" Kakashi's voice was cold when he turned around. His gaze traveled past her, settling on his flak vest at the foot of the bed.

"What else are you lying to me about?" Rin's voice trembled between anger and hurt.

Kakashi's lips compressed into a line and his eye narrowed to a slit. "So we're going to jump from I didn't tell you something inconsequential to I'm lying to you?" Kakashi's next action, pulling the mask over his mouth and nose, was like a slap in the face.

"Are you cheating on me?" The words slipped from Rin's deepest fears before she could hold them back.

There was a moment of tense silence, where neither seemed to breathe, then Kakashi growled and grabbed his flak vest, pulling it over his shirt. A tremble of emotion ran through his body, but Rin couldn't tell if it was anger or guilt. He met her gaze for the barest moment, then shook his head and opened the door without speaking.

Rin followed him into the hallway. "Where do you think you're going?"

Kakashi's shoulders tensed, pausing in the middle of putting on his sandals. "Rin," his voice was heavy but she couldn't place the emotion. "I can't do this, not right now. I'm going for a walk." She started to protest that he was sick but Kakashi spoke over her. "You said I needed sleep and I've slept all day. I just," he sighed and she heard a flicker of regret this time. "I need time, Rin."

Without waiting for an answer, Kakashi opened the door and stepped into the night. Instead of following him, Rin closed her eyes against the tears that started falling for at least the third time that day.

* * *

Across the village, Obito felt equal parts annoyance and frustration rippling through him. As he left the more populated streets behind, he lengthened his stride into a jog, then a run, leaping toward the trees as soon as they came into view. His foot gripped the branch with chakra and he pushed away in the same instant, bounding through the darkness as if he could outrun his thoughts.

Obito activated his sharingan and the forest became bright as midday. Every detail, from the broken branch ahead to the flutter of the leaves, was visible as he circled toward the training grounds. He could see the three posts with targets scattered over them. Exhaling, the ANBU drew four kunai in each hand, fanning them between fingers, as he pirouetted from the trees. He let the weapons go midair and dark metal glittered then sank into the targets. When he hit the ground, Obito flexed his knees, rolled forward, and came up with a fireball jutsu roaring in the darkness.

Adrenaline coursed through Obito, echoing the pounding of his heart in his chest and his ears. Even with all of his senses heightened, it took the man a minute to notice the tingle in his forearm. It was gentle enough to be a request again, not a demand. Even though it was possible that Minato wanted to talk about something besides Kakashi and Rin, it didn't seem probable.

Obito shook his head. Rin had revealed her doubts to him in confidence and he would never betray her, not even to the Hokage. If Obito discovered that her fears were founded, he would take care of Kakashi without Minato's intervention. The seal tingled again, more faintly than before. For the first time since it was placed on the inside of his wrist six years ago, Obito ignored it.


	8. Breaking Point

It was nearly midnight when Kakashi returned to the apartment, feeling no better despite his hours of solitude. The uncomfortable awareness of emotions swirled through him like a gathering storm. He normally held them at bay behind a cool, uncaring demeanor, but lately his tenuous grip was slipping. Rin brought up feelings that Kakashi had locked away years ago. Pain and regret, definitely. Shame at his failure to protect her, of course. But there was something else beneath the familiar emotions, something as undeniable as it was foreign.

Kakashi needed to apologize to Rin but when he entered the bedroom, his throat closed up too tightly for breath, much less words. She was curled on the bed, one hand under her cheek and the other resting on her stomach. Hope and terror swelled in Kakashi's chest. _You have to face it at some point,_ his traitorous mind whispered. If he accepted Minato, Obito, and Rin as alive, then lost them a second time-Kakashi's heart clenched and he shook his head. _I may have to face it,_ Kakashi reasoned, _but it doesn't have to be tonight_.

After pulling a blanket from the closet, Kakashi retreated to the couch. Seconds ticked into minutes, which faded into hours, but sleep refused to come. There were too many thoughts spinning through his mind. While he was thankful for the rest he'd gotten all day, Kakashi wasn't tired now. He shifted half a dozen times before finally giving up and folding the blanket. It was still dark outside but dawn couldn't be more than two hours away. He gathered his weapons, pulled the mask up over his face, then stepped into the predawn chill.

Kakashi's feet normally carried him to the memorial stone or Rin's grave, but since those were no longer appropriate, he went to Hokage mountain instead. Even though it was dark, a few lights were shining in the village, most likely shinobi preparing for the day. It was a peaceful scene, inky black slowly fading to grey as life bled into the village. Kakashi exhaled through his mask. The life of a shinobi wasn't an easy one. He had never expected to take the painless path, and truth be told, he hadn't anticipated reaching thirty. But here he was, a man with dozens of accomplishments behind him, and nothing lasting to show for himself.

Kakashi had wished for Minato to be alive almost as often as he missed his teammates. His sensei had been like a second father. While Sakumo had been a talented ninja, he hadn't been in Kakashi's life the same way. He hadn't picked up the pieces the first time Kakashi fell apart, or the second. Minato had. He'd wrapped his arms around Kakashi, trying to hold the boy together by his strength alone. If he hadn't died when nine-tails hadn't attacked, Minato might have succeeded.

 _Should, could, and might_. Those type of thoughts never amounted to much so Kakashi avoided them whenever possible. Now, those same unknowns were a constant ache in his heart. As he watched the sun rising over the village, Kakashi was haunted by the realization that he desperately wanted this world to be real.

* * *

"Again," Kakashi demanded, looking between Sasuke and Naruto. "If you don't work as a team, you're never going to land a hit, much less take a bell."

The boys were a dozen feet away, looking annoyed as sweat ran down their faces. Sasuke was crouched low to the ground in preparation to move while Naruto stood behind him, shedding his jacket for the short sleeved shirt underneath. Sakura hid in the trees to Kakashi's left, thinking the foliage disguised her. The girl provided support for the rest of her team, but her combat skills were negligible. It was smart of her to let someone else wear down Kakashi's strength before making a move.

"Multi-shadow clone jutsu," Naruto shouted, half a dozen orange-clad forms appearing.

Sasuke rolled his dark eyes and drew shuriken from the pouch at his side. "Idiot, that didn't work last time, and it's not going to work this time."

"Yeah, well your little shuriken trick didn't work either. I don't see you coming up with anything more original." Naruto shot back, glaring.

Kakashi almost smiled. "Discussing strategy in front of your enemy is probably better saved until after you've won."

The jonin stood with arms crossed over his chest, waiting patiently. Kakashi didn't have his copy of Icha Icha with him, so he couldn't feign disinterest the way he'd done during their first training session. Though he'd searched all the usual places in his apartment, he couldn't find the familiar orange book anywhere. It wasn't that he needed it necessarily, there were more than enough thoughts to occupy his mind these days, but Kakashi was conscious of its lack. Nothing wrong with letting his mind wander for a bit.

Naruto charged forward with the same brashness that Kakashi remembered, using clones rather than traditional weapons. The silver-haired man sidestepped, swift punches and kicks dispersing three of the clones but Kakashi was forced to allow an equal amount to remain standing when Sasuke's shuriken flipped through the air. He dodged, dipping under one of the weapons as he swept Naruto's feet from beneath him. The boy landed in a puff of smoke, another shadow clone.

Impressed despite himself, Kakashi leapt backward to avoid Sasuke's attack. The boy showed significant improvement with the shuriken jutsu, a mark of training with Shisui. Two of the weapons pinged against each other midair, changing direction so one raced toward the jonin. Sasuke had good instincts and the shuriken narrowly missed the front of Kakashi's vest. _He's going to be an excellent shinobi one day_ , Kakashi thought as he dodged.

As the hail of shuriken abated, Naruto surged forward. Kakashi caught a punch with his right palm, twisting the boy's hand backward to slide out of range. That was his only option as Sasuke was coming with a flurry of quick kicks. Kakashi blocked the first two with crossed forearms, grabbed the boy's foot on the third kick, and shoved him backward. They were working better as a team, but they weren't quite there. Had Naruto waited a moment longer, or Sasuke moved a fraction faster, one of them would have landed a hit.

"So close," Kakashi said, voice neither mocking nor approving. Naruto growled and flung his hands into the air, rounding to yell at Sasuke for being too slow. As the familiar insults washed over him, Kakashi looked across their usual training ground toward the river. There was a flicker of movement at the edge of his vision, someone was approaching. A quick glance revealed the wide shoulders and dark hair of Obito. The man had a half smile on his face, watching the boys be put in their places by their jonin.

"Is he giving you the bell test?" Obito asked, grinning at Naruto and Sasuke. Sakura was approaching as well now that the fighting was over.

"This is the second one," Naruto huffed. "We didn't even get a bell the first time, but Kakashi-sensei passed us anyway."

Obito glanced at his former teammate, lips curling into a smile that wasn't entirely friendly. "You're getting old _and_ sentimental."

"Capturing a bell was never the point," Kakashi answered, ignoring Obito's tone. "I needed to know that I had a team to work with, not a bunch of arrogant brats."

"What if Minato-sensei had used the same requirement?" Obito asked, the smile never leaving his lips.

Unbidden, Kakashi's memory flashed back to the day Minato had administered this same test to his own team. Within minutes of starting, Kakashi had realized that Minato was holding back with Rin and Obito. Whenever he attacked, however, the jonin fought harder to keep the bells away. He speculated that by attacking in conjunction with Obito and Rin, Minato wouldn't be able to defend full force, creating an opening. Kakashi had taken advantage, using his teammates as a means to an end. Capturing the bell felt like a hollow victory now.

Kakashi pushed the memory down. "Is there something I can help you with or can we get back to training? If they don't get a bell by the time we stop, we're working on reflexes all day tomorrow." On cue, all three kids started complaining that he was being unfair.

Obito winked at the genin then his hand darted toward Kakashi's hip, kunai appearing. The blade severed the cord holding the bells and Obito caught them as they fell, flipping one over his shoulder to Sasuke. The boy closed a hand around it by muscle memory alone.

"See? His reflexes are fine." Obito laughed. "And now, one of your students has a bell so their training is over." The shock on Naruto's face matched Kakashi's. Obito had moved inhumanly fast.

He was still trying to find words when the man spoke again. "Observation can be a useful form of training. Why don't you spar with me and let them watch?" The request was innocent enough. Kakashi was fairly certain Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were strong enough to pass the chunin exams. Besides, if they made it to the final stage, they would almost certainly be required to fight one-on-one. Watching two experienced shinobi fight would be good for them and this was too good of an opportunity to pass up. It was the unique chance for Kakashi to test his skills.

"Kakashi-sensei will win," Naruto grinned, completely unaware of the tension between the two men. "He's copied hundreds of jutsu with his sharingan. Remember that cool-"

"Stupid," Sasuke grumbled, cutting Naruto off. "Obito is an Uchiha so he has the sharingan too. Kakashi will lose its advantages in this fight."

The boys fell into another argument, Sakura coming between them. Her voice was either too soft or too insignificant to be heard as they compared the two men, who were measuring each other without speaking.

"Very well," Kakashi conceded, shifting into a fighting stance, rather than the lazy slouch he used with his team.

Obito spoke over his shoulder to the genin. "You guys probably want to move away in case things get out of hand. I don't intend to hold back." His dark eye focused on Kakashi, who inclined his head fractionally, accepting the challenge.

After the kids leapt into the trees, Kakashi raised his fingers in the seal of confrontation. Obito copied the movement then exploded forward with quick, testing punches and kicks. Kakashi dodged and blocked, feeling a shudder of pain flash through his forearm when Obito's foot connected with it.

Kakashi let himself be driven back, assessing his opponent's taijutsu skills before attacking. The first jab grazed Obito's shoulder but he dodged the next several punches. When Kakashi struck at Obito's stomach with his knee, the man curled away and leapt into the air, kicking. Kakashi rolled beneath the first, then sprang back to his feet, warding off a second. Years of training with Guy had ingrained the reflexes, but they were slower in this world than they should have been. He grunted when the third kick clipped his ear.

Obito laughed as they broke apart. "Where's the prodigy I remember?"

Was the man really trying to rile Kakashi up to fight harder? His heart was hammering in his chest, breath coming faster. Obito was all coiled energy and arrogance, clear marks of his time in ANBU. Kakashi reached for his own persona during those days. "I didn't want to hurt you in front of the kids. Sasuke is fond of you."

Obito chuckled, low and deep. "Is that so?"

The words were barely out of the man's mouth before he was advancing, fists a blur of speed that Kakashi matched. They moved together seamlessly, punches and kicks thudding against armor or muscle. As soon as one gained ground, the other took it back. Kakashi ducked a swift strike, put fingers on the ground and swept his leg toward Obito's feet. He jumped, avoiding the attack. Kakashi shifted forward, weight on his hands, rolling beneath the downward kick.

The roll ended in a crouch, and pain seared through the adrenaline as hot blood ran down Kakashi's arm. _Not holding back, indeed_ , he thought, glancing at the kunai that had embedded itself in the ground after gashing across his bicep. His eyes flicked to the tear in his shirt, then back to Obito as he drew his own weapon from the pouch on his thigh.

"See? Now you're taking me seriously." Obito charged forward and Kakashi rushed to meet him. While his body wasn't as strong as it should be, the knowledge was still there. Metal clashed on metal and Kakashi pushed inside Obito's defenses. The other man's mouth opened in surprise then he grimaced, fighting back even harder. Their weapons sang, flashing too fast for the eye to follow.

Kakashi reversed the grip on his kunai before intercepting a slash aimed at his chest. Slamming his left forearm against Obito's right, Kakashi pivoted. The momentum of the turn brought the tip of his blade dangerously close to Obito. The Uchiha was so focused on the weapon that he never saw the kick coming. Kakashi's foot connected hard, sending Obito rolling across the ground in a cloud of dust.

Breathing hard, Kakashi flipped a second kunai into his hand and crouched, ready to move in any direction. Obito was back on his feet, weaving hand seals. Without his sharingan uncovered, Kakashi couldn't read them, but he didn't need to. Obito was an Uchiha, there was little doubt about what type of attack was coming.

"Sensei!" Sakura's cry distracted Kakashi as sanguine light filled the immediate area, brighter than the sun for one blinding moment. Half a second later than he intended, Kakashi slammed both hands onto the ground. A wall of earth rose in front of him and flames roared to either side of his body. Obito's fireball jutsu had certainly improved over the years. He could hear the mud wall cracking under the heat.

Kakashi barely waited for fire to stop before he rolled to the side, coming up with weapons poised. Obito was waiting, catching Kakashi's mouth with his heel. Pain exploded through him, sharp and sudden, and the force of the attack knocked Kakashi backward. Shaking his head to clear the daze, Kakashi swallowed around the coppery tang of the blood.

Obito stared at Kakashi with a single red eye. _So that's how he saw my moves so quickly._ For one frantic moment Kakashi thought about chidori, the attack that ended most of his fights. _No, I could never use that against Obito_. A hand twitched toward the headband covering the twin to Obito's sharingan, raising it as he opened his left eye and shut the right. Vision heightened, Kakashi could see the path of the shuriken Obito threw. He back flipped twice, drawing the man closer.

"Running away? What kind of example does that set for your students?" Obito's voice held a surprising amount of viciousness. "I'm not going to chase you, Kakashi."

When Obito started weaving signs, Kakashi formed his own. The river behind him writhed, undulating with waves that splashed against the shore. Obito's fireball jutsu was rivaling the sun again. It roared forward as a dragon rose, curling midair to arch over Kakashi's shoulder. Water met flame with a terrific hiss, flinging boiling droplets in every direction. The glow sputtered out and a wave crashed toward Obito.

Kakashi launched through the steam, landing almost on top of him. Obito raised his arms to block, stumbled back two steps, then planted his back foot. Dual sharingan negated any advantage, so they were back to physical prowess alone. Kakashi could feel the toll of the fighting and his lack of sleep working against him. He needed to end this quickly.

One of Kakashi's blocks came a fraction too late. Sakura screamed as Obito's blade bit into the silver-haired jonin's neck, sliding through mask and skin alike. The Uchiha didn't flinch. He sprang backward as the form collapsed, dissipating in a puff of smoke. Kakashi's real body surged from the ground at the same moment, landing with his blade against Obito's neck. There was a thrill of victory before Kakashi glanced down. His opponent's outstretched arm mimicked his own.

The infuriating Uchiha grinned. "You're going to need more than one new trick to beat me, Kakashi. Why don't we call this one a tie?" Kakashi lowered his weapons, watching Obito do the same, then they locked fingers to signify the end of the fight. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke ran up within moments, chattering.

"I told you the water dragon was way cooler than the fireball jutsu," Naruto was saying as they approached. Sasuke shook his head, refusing to be dragged into the discussion with the blond and Sakura was frowning at Kakashi, as if trying to make sure it was a clone she just watched die.

"Okay, that's all for day," Obito said once they were close enough to hear him. "You guys are dismissed." Three heads swiveled toward Kakashi for approval, hope shining in their eyes.

Frowning, Kakashi wiped the sweat from his face with the back of a hand. "Obito, you can't just dismiss my team on a whim."

The Uchiha let out a long breath then leaned close to Kakashi. "We need to talk, alone," the whisper was iron hard.

Sakura watched the men with intelligent green eyes and Kakashi knew she'd heard Obito's words; Naruto and Sasuke were oblivious. "When we meet back tomorrow, I expect each of you to give me an analysis of the fight you just watched. Strengths, weaknesses, and improvements." Once he received grumbled agreements, Kakashi dismissed them.

Battle adrenaline trickled away, leaving behind an empty ache. Obito didn't look at Kakashi or speak. Instead, he stared toward the river, shoulders tense, jaw set in a hard line. Kakashi waited, letting the silence stretch.

"Where were you last night?" Obito finally asked.

A silver eyebrow arched skyward. "Why does that matter?"

"I'm only going to ask you this once more, Kakashi. Where were you last night?" Obito's hands were balled into fists and the threat was obvious.

"This is about Rin, isn't it? She told you we had a fight?" Kakashi exhaled in a humorless snort, surprised to feel jealousy twist through his chest.

"She did." Obito's glared. "She said you never came home."

"Rin was asleep, so I slept on the couch." Kakashi answered, reining his anger in. "I left before she woke today, in case you're wondering about that too."

The two men stood facing one another, shoulders squared, eyes sparking. "Are you cheating on her?" Obito finally asked.

"That's what this is about?' Kakashi exploded before he could stop himself. "It's bad enough that Rin would ask me. But you too, Obito?"

Kakashi felt frustration boiling through him. Rin and Obito should have known him better than anyone. Trying to find something besides the anger, Kakashi clung to the one detail that felt out of place. "When did you talk to her?"

"I stopped by the apartment to check on her this morning." Though Obito didn't say it, Kakashi clearly heard the accusation. _If you were a better man, I wouldn't need to be there for her._

"You just stopped by to check on _my wife_." The words left Kakashi's mouth before he realized what he was saying. The twinge of anger increased, blotting out the rationality he prided himself on.

Obito didn't back down. "She's my friend. She was upset over how you've been treating her lately."

"Our relationship is none of your business, Obito." Kakashi's voice dropped. "Rin is none of your business."

The building tension snapped. Obito's fist cracked into Kakashi's jaw, hard enough to knock him off his feet, and he sprang, grabbing a handful of Kakashi's flak vest. Obito's chest heaved as he lifted Kakashi's upper body off the ground. "Dammit Kakashi, you need a better explanation than it's none of my business." He growled the last words, throwing them back at Kakashi.

"I don't owe you anything," Kakashi snarled, twisting in an attempt to throw Obito's weight off his chest. "But no, I'm not cheating on her."

His mind flashed back to young Obito. The boy had been hopelessly in love with Rin, Kakashi oblivious and uncaring. Apparently Obito's feelings had only grown stronger with age. Kakashi was astounded that it took him this long connect the pieces and now that he'd made the logical jump, there was no way to undo it. "You're jealous because she chose me."

Kakashi couldn't tell if it was embarrassment or fury that purpled Obito's cheeks. The Uchiha's blows fell in rapid succession until Kakashi's survival instinct kicked in and he fought back. He slammed a fist into Obito's ribs and pain blazed through his face from the man's retaliation. Obito had the advantage of weight and gave worse than he got but Kakashi managed to land several strikes of his own. Obito ended the scuffle by slamming a fist into the ground by Kakashi's head.

"You can't be this selfish, Kakashi. Rin loves you, and she needs you right now. I don't know what's wrong with you, but you need to figure it out." Obito physically shook with the effort of not hitting Kakashi again as he pushed himself up. "Next time I won't ask so nicely."

Through blood-blurred vision, Kakashi watched Obito disappear in a puff of smoke before closing his eyes, letting the pain roll over him.

* * *

The delicious scent of Kushina's cooking drew Minato from his home office. While he often worked late into the evening, he tried to leave early at least one day each week to make time for his wife. He'd been home since after lunch, enjoying the peace and quiet until Naruto shattered it less than five minutes ago. He'd tried to launch into a story but Kushina interrupted him, sending the boy to shower before dinner. Minato had a few more minutes of privacy before being subjected to every single detail of today's training session.

"Did you finish your notes?" Kushina asked over her shoulder when he entered the kitchen.

Minato hummed in agreement, sliding his hands around her stomach from behind. When she leaned back, he dropped his head to lightly kiss her shoulder. They were interrupted by a thunder of feet that materialized into Naruto, freshly scrubbed, golden hair still dripping tendrils down his neck. He was halfway through saying that they weren't going to be believe what happened when he slid to a halt and made a face.

"Ew, there are kids present here, ya know?" Naruto burst out. Kushina laughed and turned in Minato's arms, pressing her lips to his. Naruto groaned even louder, covering his eyes and backing around the corner.

"Get back in here and help your mother set the table," Minato called, flashing a smile at his wife.

Naruto peered around the corner. "Only if you two are done making kissy faces at each other." Kushina laughed and ruffled the boy's damp hair as he picked up the plates.

Arms crossed over his chest, Minato watched the pair until he heard someone knocking at the door. He frowned and glanced at the clock. It was late; no one from the Hokage's office would bother him at this time unless it was an emergency. Expecting to be met with dire news, the Hokage pulled open the door. It was worse than he thought.

Kakashi leaned against the frame, flak vest and silver hair dappled with crimson. His hitai-ate was pushed onto his forehead, left eye opened to compensate for the swollen right one. Using the sharingan had to be taking its toll on him. The mask that Kakashi rarely took off was stained with blood, blue fabric darker around his nose and mouth, and each inhalation wheezed in his lungs.

"Sensei, I-" Kakashi's voice broke and he stumbled forward. Minato steadied him with one hand then guided him into a chair. Kushina met Minato's blue eyes, clearly stunned.

"Oh man, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto groaned. "You look way worse than I thought you would after that fight with Obito."

Kushina and Minato both turned toward their son. "Obito did this?" Minato asked.

"I've been trying to tell you all night," Naruto started, but Kushina cut him off.

"Naruto, go eat dinner in your room. Your dad and I need to talk to Kakashi." Kushina's voice was calm and authoritative as she approached the men, damp rag in hand. The blond boy started to argue but one stern look from Minato silenced him. Meanwhile, Kakashi was pulling away from Kushina's ministrations, complaining that he was fine as she dabbed at his injuries.

"You don't look fine, hold still," she growled. Once Naruto left, Kushina tugged down Kakashi's mask without asking permission. Everything below his nose was crismon. Frowning, she pressed the cloth against his lip with more force than was strictly necessary but Minato saw the worry in her eyes. Kakashi and Obito were like second sons, Rin the daughter they'd never had.

When Kushina didn't relent, Kakashi finally sat still long enough for her clean his face. Even with the blood gone, he still looked terrible. His face was swollen and bruised in multiple places. "Did Obito really do this," Minato asked, making both Kakashi and Kushina stiffen. "I'm going to send for Rin so she can heal you. Then, I want to know what happened."

"Please don't." Kakashi's voice was earnest as he grasped Minato's wrist. "She doesn't need to know about this."

"Kakashi," Minato's voice was as stern as it had been with Naruto. "What happened?"

The man stood and started to pace, clearly struggling with his answer. Minato put a restraining hand on Kakashi's shoulder and he leaned into the touch, obviously trembling and trying to stop. Minato tightened his grip and put an arm around Kakashi's shoulders, drawing his student closer. The shuddering increased and there was a faint gulp of air as Kakashi rested his forehead on Minato's shoulder, like a child seeking comfort. Whatever had happened between himself and Obito must have been bad to reduce Kakashi to this state. Minato hadn't seen him so vulnerable and broken since Obito's memorial service.

"Come on," Minato guided Kakashi toward the office he'd vacated less than half an hour ago.

Once the man was seated on the couch, Minato closed the door. Kakashi hung his head with fingers laced behind his neck, clearly at a loss. Minato sat next him, speaking gently but firmly. He was determined to get a straight answer this time. "Why don't you try starting at the beginning?"


	9. In Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary/Warnings: Some light fluff memories, many feels, Kakashi angst/hurt, sort of cliffhanger (mostly because otherwise this would have been a 10K+ word chapter)
> 
> Author Notes: First of all, a huge thanks to my beta readers tabjoy13 and Cinlat for reading this and making it a much stronger chapter. Both are fantastic and you should check out their stories on fanficiton. Also, I've succumbed to joining tumblr which has been somewhat detrimental to my focus but oh so many new story ideas. You can find me under Dimigex and tumblr is open for asks so if you have any questions/whatever about this story that's the place to ask them. I feel like I need to put out a disclaimer that I really do love Kakashi. Torture is kind-of a by product of being loved by me I think but he does angst and hurt so well. All of that said, you guys are the best. Thanks for reading, enjoy the chapter and review/pm/reach out with your questions and thoughts!

****

"Genjutsu?" Minato asked disbelievingly. It had taken Kakashi ten minutes to finally answer, and when he did, the revelation had nothing to do with Obito. "Why do you think you're trapped in a genjutsu?"

Kakashi exhaled, wheezing softly. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

Though the silver-haired man was no longer bleeding, Kakashi's face was swollen and bruised. His eyes were closed, head resting against the back of the couch. Minato wondered if Obito looked this bad. While the pair often fought, they'd never taken it to this extent. Only one person could produce this amount of emotion in both men.

"How does that make sense?" Minato questioned.

Kakashi was silent for several moments. "My memories from before two weeks ago," he paused, voice growing thick as he tried to find the words. "They don't make sense. Not in this world, anyway."

Minato frowned at the final sentence, but didn't ask what the other man meant. "The normal kai release hasn't worked?" He rested a hand on Kakashi's forearm, then released a stream of chakra into him. Kakashi jerked upright and opened his sharingan, closing it again when he found Minato's face. "Two weeks is a long time to be inside a genjutsu."

"Not for Itachi's tsukuyomi," Kakashi mumbled without reopening his eyes.

Minato's frown deepend. "Uchiha Itachi is in ANBU. Are you suggesting that he would use a genjutsu on you? That he has one powerful enough to trap you for an extended period of time without eye contact?"

Anger flitted across Kakashi's face, his emotions easier to read for once. The mask still hung around his neck from where Kushina had pulled it down earlier. Minato wasn't sure if Kakashi had forgotten about it, or if it would put too much pressure on his possibly broken nose. Either way he'd left it down. "Itachi is a member of the Akatsuki, a traitor. Annd yes, he is that powerful."

Minato hesitated at the mention of the Akatsuki. Kakashi shouldn't know that name; the Hokage had only recently learned it from one of Jiraiya's reports. The next words made even less sense. "Why would he put me through this? I think I'd rather have the three days of torture."

"How can you say that your memories don't fit? You know who I am, Kakashi. You called me sensei." Kakashi had been a little off lately, but Minato hadn't been truly worried that something was wrong until now.

"I remember a different world. You were my sensei there as well." Kakashi shook his head. "But so much has changed."

Minato watched the younger man try to find his words. "I've known you for nearly twenty years Kakashi. You can't remember any of it?" His voice was gentle. "You were there when we brought Naruto home; you and Rin surprised us and you were terrified that you were going to drop the baby until she showed you how to hold him." Kakashi shuddered visibly. "Do you remember being raised to jonin? You were so proud, I could see it even through the look of disinterest you always wore back then."

"I remember my first mission as team captain. It was the one where I got Obito killed." Kakashi's voice had an edge to it.

"Is that what this is about? We've been over this dozens of times. Kakashi, you aren't at fault for what happened. Obito is fine." Minato sighed. How long would the man keep beating himself up over that?

Kakashi opened his sharingan again. "Except he isn't. He never made it out of that cave."

After the accident, Kakashi had nearly fallen apart. The boy had begged Minato to strip him of his rank, claiming that he was unworthy to be jonin. It had taken months for Minato and Rin to put him back together. Even in her own pain, Rin had supported Kakashi. Those had been the first steps toward love, though everyone else in the village realized it long before Kakashi caught on.

Minato still remembered the day that he'd known that Kakashi and Rin were perfect for one another. He'd found them early one morning at the memorial stone, knowing they'd been there all night. Kakashi spent most of his free time there, and Rin followed him like a shadow so finding them together wasn't unusual. Minato had been aware of them instantly. Rin's back was propped against the memorial, while Kakashi was curled on his side, head resting in her lap. The girl's fingers had been brushing through his silver hair as she watched the sunrise. Minato left without disturbing them, trusting that if anyone could save Kakashi, it would be Rin.

"Kakashi, I was there when you married Rin. I stood in for your dad. You can't tell me that you don't remember that." Minato pretended not to notice the way Kakashi's hands balled into fists. "You were so nervous that I thought you were going to be sick. Once you started pacing, Obito physically restrained you until it was time for the ceremony. Then you forgot your vows and-"

"Stop it," Kakashi pleaded. "I'm not married. I've never been married, and certainly not to Rin. She's dead, sensei." Words poured out of Kakashi like water from an open floodgate. "I killed her. I didn't imagine that; I didn't make it up. I still see her blood on my hands, hear the way she whispered my name with her final breath." Kakashi's voice broke and he pushed himself to his feet, turning away.

Minato didn't know how to process the words. Kakashi clearly believed them, felt their agony, but they weren't true. Their wedding had been one of Minato's fondest memories. Briefly, the Hokage wondered if he should be afraid for Rin's safety. He didn't think that Kakashi would ever hurt her, but then again, Minato never imagined the boys escalating to this level of violence either. _If Kakashi is this out of touch with reality_ -Minato stopped that line of reasoning before it could form entirely.

Kakashi groaned. "You and Kushina died too and I couldn't-"

Shock stole Minato's breath as he heard the undeniable pain in Kakashi's words. The idea of losing Kushina made fear twist through Minato's gut. She and Naruto were his everything; he would put his life before theirs in a heartbeat. If there was even a slim chance that Kakashi's memories were somehow a vision of the future, he had to know, even if the idea was too terrible to contemplate. "How did it happen?"

When Kakashi's face contorted with pain, Minato wished he'd kept the morbid curiosity to himself. "The night she gave birth, the nine-tails escaped." Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut, struggling with memory. "You sealed the demon, then-"

Minato didn't push Kakashi to continue. If the kyuubi had broken free from Kushina's control, there was only one option. He had desperately hoped that the reaper death seal would never be needed, but Minato had prepared for any eventuality. His heart constricted at the memory of Naruto's birth. They'd taken every precaution: a safe house, ANBU guards, midwives, and Minato to hold the seal during the delivery. Feeling that furious hatred surging against him, while witnessing Kushina's pain, had been one of the most helpless moments of his life.

"We're alive, Kakashi. This is some remnant of a nightmare or-"

"Or I'm insane," the jonin answered darkly. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. I have memories that don't fit, and I don't know how to explain them. Some I remember clearly, like Rin's death. Others, like the chunin exam, are hazy."

Now that he knew what was wrong, Minato had to find a way to fix it. Sarutobi would know which jutsu could plant false memories, but they needed more information. After a few minutes of thought, it came to Minato. Yamanaka should be able to use his mind transmission jutsu to read what was going on inside Kakashi's head. It was the fastest and easiest way to get answers. "Would you be willing to let Inoichi examine you?" He asked quietly.

"Anything to make it stop," Kakashi opened his eye and met the Hokage's gaze for the first time in several minutes.

Minato felt a stab of pity for the battered man before him. Though Kushina had cleaned his face, Kakashi still looked terrible. His uniform was covered with streaks of dirt and crusted with dried blood. "Come on," Minato guided Kakashi out of the study and through the apartment. The man's emotional state was reminiscent of how he'd been after Obito's injury, trying to project strength while crumbling under the weight. Fragile wasn't a word that many would have used for the Copy Ninja, but most didn't know him the way that Minato did. "It will take me some time to make the arrangements, why don't you get cleaned up in the meantime?"

Kakashi followed Minato numbly to the bathroom where the blond nodded toward the shower. "I'll have Kushina bring you something to change into." When Kakashi didn't move, Minato stepped past him to turn the water on. That seemed to shake the other man out of his trance. As he walked to the door, Minato paused. "We'll get this figured out, Kakashi, I promise."

* * *

"Well?" Kushina asked, standing up as soon as Minato reappeared.

When her husband crossed the room, Kushina saw the pain in his blue eyes. She wrapped him in the familiar hug that usually dispelled all of his tension, but tonight, it hardly seemed to have an effect. "It's bad," Minato admitted. "I'm taking Kakashi to Inoichi for questioning and once we're done, I think he should stay with us. Can Naruto spend the night with Sasuke?"

"Questioning for what?" Kushina felt a stab of fear, but Minato didn't answer right away. "Naruto is old enough to look after himself, ya know?" She said with soft laugh, trying to ease the anxiety of the situation.

"I don't want Naruto here for this," Minato said firmly. "This is the worst I've ever seen Kakashi, Kushina. I'm worried about sending him home to Rin. He's not himself."

Kushina squeezed Minato closer and glanced up. "What happened, Min?"

The man placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'm not sure and we don't have a lot of time, can you trust me until I know more?" While she wasn't the most patient person, Kushina could tell that her husband hadn't had enough time to process whatever Kakashi had revealed in the study.

"Just this once," Kushina murmured, pulling away.

"He's showering," Minato glanced back toward the bathroom. "Can you see that he has something to change into and get Naruto moving? I need to summon Inoichi and a medic so we can get this taken care of tonight."

When Kushina nodded, Minato flashed her a grateful smile before going to summon one of his ANBU to set up the meetings. She went to the bedroom and pulled out a pair of Minato's pants and a shirt from the closet. Her husband was a bit wider through the shoulders, but otherwise the two men were built similarly. His clothes should fit Kakashi well enough and at least they were clean, unlike his own.

Hearing the shower running, Kushina cracked the door and placed the clothes on the edge of the counter. Through the cloud of steam produced by the hot water, Kushina saw Kakashi's uniform and felt a slight smile tug at her lips. His green vest was on the floor, pants and shirt folded neatly on top. His gloves and headband were resting next to the pile with his mask, the one not attached to his shirt, nestled beside them. Even in the middle of a mental breakdown, Kakashi remained perfectly neat, as was his habit. After picking up the mask, Kushina shut the door.

Blood and dirt were easy enough to wash out of the mask's fabric, but it would still be damp when Kakashi was done showering. Though Kushina thought that he was being unnecessarily difficult about keeping his face covered, Kakashi could be allowed a security blanket, especially now. After hanging it off the bathroom counter to dry, Kushina went to find Naruto.

Her son was sitting by the door in his bedroom, undoubtedly trying to hear what was happening. She couldn't blame him. There was too much of Kushina in Naruto for her to be angry. "You're going to spend the night at Sasuke's," she began without warning. Blue eyes, so like Minato's, widened in surprise. "Get your things together."

For once, Naruto obeyed without asking a million questions. In fact, he had only one. "Is Kakashi-sensei okay?"

"Of course," Kushina said, ruffling his hair. Naruto cared deeply about people, felt their pain like it was his own. She wasn't surprised that he was worried about his battered sensei. "He's fine, but he needs to stay here tonight to talk to your dad."

Kushina looked at her son, thinking of what she would have done at his age. "You're not to mention anything that happened tonight. Not to Sasuke, or anyone else, unless your father tells you otherwise. Are we clear?" The boy grudgingly nodded. "Good, get your bag packed. We're leaving in ten minutes."

With the last of her tasks complete, Kushina went in search of Minato. He was sitting behind the desk in his study, hastily scrawled notes in front of him. The man had put his flak vest on, but not the heavy mantle of the Hokage. Not yet. The cloak was draped over his lap, but Minato was a sensei first. She knew that expression on his face. He was wondering what he should have done differently, looking lost as he gazed at the three seals on the inside of his wrist. Kushina crossed the room to run her fingers through his hair. "He'll be fine," she murmured. "Kakashi is stronger than this."

Pressing his head against her side, Minato sighed. "What are we going to do about Obito?"

"First, I'm going to hit him so hard that he'll have to claim mission injuries to show his face in the ANBU barracks again." Kushina growled. "Then, I'm going to get to the bottom of what he was thinking."

Minato chuckled and his voice was less tense when he spoke. "I don't think that's the correct order, Kushina. We should leave off confronting Obito until we know what happened. What about Rin?"

"I'm going to talk to her after I drop off Naruto." Kushina frowned. "When grown men act this stupid, there's almost always a woman involved, and knowing those two, it's Rin. I'm sure she's worried."

"I love you," Minato said suddenly, standing to wrap Kushina in his arms.

Warmth spread through Kushina's chest as she nestled briefly against her husband. "I love you, too."

Kakashi cleared his throat from the doorway and Kushina pulled away from Minato, turning toward him. His sharingan was open, the other eye swollen shut, ringed in black and red. The mask covered the rest of his injuries except for a bruise spreading up his cheek. Damp silver hair hung across his forehead, the headband that usually held it back was wrapped around his wrist. The hand pressing against the door frame looked like it was the only thing holding him up.

Rather than waiting for Minato, Kushina crossed the distance to rest her hand on Kakashi's arm. He flinched, but didn't pull away. "I'm going to let Rin know that you'll be staying with us until we get this sorted out. Do you want me to tell her anything for you?"

"Can you tell her that I-," Kakashi paused then shook his head, choking on the words he couldn't say.

* * *

The entry to the Interrogation Division was bathed in shadow but for a single lamp that threw a halo of golden light into the darkness. _Fitting for a place like this_ , Minato thought, pushing the door open to lead Kakashi inside. Bringing his former student here made the Hokage's skin crawl. Kakashi wasn't a traitor to the village, wasn't an enemy to extract intelligence from. He was one of Konoha's own shinobi.

The jonin hadn't spoken since they'd left the house, but Minato recognized that a change had come over him. Despite his exhaustion, Kakashi held his head high as they walked deeper into the building. Minato had expected some flicker of fear or apprehension after the outpouring in his office, but Kakashi's emotions were locked away. He reminded the Hokage of an ANBU captain coming to report a mission failure, dispassionate and removed from the situation.

Minato couldn't worry about that now, not until he had some answers. The pair approached the interrogation rooms and found Inoichi waiting outside with a medical nin. The latter was wiping his glasses on his shirt, nodding at something the Yamanaka had said. When they saw Minato and Kakashi, they both bowed respectfully. Minato had thrown the Hokage cloak over his shoulders before they left the house. As much as seeing Kakashi in pain hurt Minato, he had to face this situation with the level head of a village leader.

"Thank you for coming," Minato broke the silence, voice echoing in the hallway.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Inoichi responded. "Hatake-san," he inclined his head to Kakashi as well.

Clearly neither Inoichi nor the medic, a man named Kusushi, knew what to make of the Hokage's request. Kakashi looked terrible and they were openly staring at him, trying to figure out how the damaged jonin fit into the picture. "No matter what happens here tonight, I'm trusting your discretion in this. Please heal him, Kusushi," Minato asked.

"This way, Hatake-san," the medic guided him to a chair in the interrogation room, then stepped closer. Green light filled the space. Kakashi stiffened and closed his eye, but he didn't refuse. That alone told Minato how much pain he was in. Bruises faded from Kakashi's eye and cheek, but the process took longer than Minato anticipated. There must have been other injuries he couldn't see.

"Thanks," Kakashi brought his eye up to the medic's now that he could open it again.

Kusushi stepped back into the hallway and turned to leave but Minato stopped him. "I'd like you to stay. I know this doesn't usually require medical intervention, but I don't want to take any chances tonight. This is hardly a normal situation."

Even though Kakashi looked confident, Minato could feel the weakness in his chakra signature. He had spent a great deal of energy today, and the continued use of the sharingan only made it worse. Minato was worried about the way Kakashi had retreated into himself now that other people were present. He wondered if Rin had seen this cold, distant version of her husband. Her love had drawn out Kakashi's warmth, but there was no trace of it now. What had happened to reverse that?

"You may hear sensitive information while you're here," Minato began, turning toward Kusushi, but Inoichi held up a hand.

"Hokage-sama, when I received your summons and request to bring a medical ninja, I selected Kusushi because he's worked with us before." The ash blond man didn't quite say that the medic was familiar with holding his tongue, but the insinuation was there.

Minato looked at the man, then nodded thoughtfully. There was only one reason a medic would be frequently used by the intelligence division: Kusushi could put the broken bodies back together after torture. The Hokage didn't shudder at the thought, though he disliked the needs for such tactics. Instead, he inclined his head. "Out of respect, I'd like you to wait here. I don't know what, if anything, will be revealed, but Kakashi is still a respected jonin."

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Kusushi said, bowing his head and remaining still when Minato and Inoichi stepped into the room and shut the door behind him.

The interrogator turned to the two men with a frown. "What is this about, Lord Hokage?"

"Kakashi is," Minato's heart ached faintly as he looked at his student. The man was already on the point of exhaustion and interrogations were never easy. Exhaling, Minato forced himself to continue. "Kakashi is having trouble distinguishing real memories, which may be blocked, from false ones planted by a genjutsu. At least, that's what we think. We're hoping you can confirm this."

Inoichi stepped around the table to look down at Kakashi. The jonin met his gaze with a hard, single-eye stare. He hadn't put his headband back on, but he'd closed the sharingan. "You understand that once we begin, I'll have access to all of your memories, good and bad?" Kakashi nodded. "There may be things that you don't want me to see. I'll try to go through them as quickly as possible, but it will be easier if you don't fight once we start. Remember, I'm not trying to hurt you." Kakashi's shoulders stiffened, but he nodded again.

"Is there anything specific that I'm looking for?" Inoichi's question was directed to either man, but Kakashi answered.

"The chunin exams. I don't remember what happened, but I know the village is in danger."

Inoichi nodded. "Pain and fear are two of the most powerful human emotions, so they create the strongest memories. If both are associated with the chunin exams, I should be able to find the memory quickly. Are you ready?"

Kakashi shifted in the chair and drew a breath before nodding. Minato wondered what he was afraid of seeing, then decided that he didn't want to know. Inoichi glanced at the Hokage, awaiting permission before resting a hand on Kakashi's head. Both men closed their eyes, and chakra swelled in the room. Kakashi's body stiffened and Minato could see the hard set of his mouth through the mask.

Near silence dominated the room for several minutes, then Kakashi made a sound that Minato had never heard before. Kakashi's lips pulled back from his teeth and he snarled, reminiscent of a wolf backed into a corner. His sedate breathing sped to a rasping cadence that his mask couldn't disguise. Inoichi matched Kakashi's tension, inhaling sharply, then gritting his teeth. Sweat broke out on their faces as the snarl evolved into a growl that sent chills through Minato's chest. Kakashi's fingers clenched around the arms of the chair, knuckles white, and he panted, chest heaving as he tried to draw in enough air.

"Please no, not again," Kakashi gasped, arching away from the chair. Inoichi's entire body shook, face growing pale and lips compressing into a thin line. Kakashi jerked against the hold, then he collapsed backward, eyes squeezing shut. His right hand stretched toward something, fingers trembling under the tension. "Please, Rin," Kakashi sobbed. His distress was obvious, tears glistening in the corners of his eyes. Kakashi's next breath came out as a strangled cry, and the agonized sound of Rin's name wrung from his lips was enough to break Minato's heart.

"Enough." The Hokage's voice was as strained as Kakashi's.

Inoichi braced the inside of his elbow with his free hand to steady the one on Kakashi's head. His voice was tense. "Lord Hokage, I don't have enough informat-"

Blue sparks flickered off Kakashi's outstretched right hand, a subconscious response to whatever memory he was seeing. As the chittering of birds started to fill the air, Minato lunged, grabbing the man's forearm and forcing it back to the chair. The jonin's muscles felt like steel beneath his hands. As often as Minato had seen Kakashi use or train with the chidori, this was the first time he'd ever summoned it without forming hand seals. When had he learned to do that? That was a question for another time.

"I said enough Inoichi," Minato shouted. The interrogator removed his hand, staggering backward while Kakashi collapsed forward. The Hokage caught his former student around the chest, exhaling as the chidori dissipated without fully forming. Kakashi wheezed without opening his eyes, shuddering. Inoichi had the presence of mind to step into the hall and call for the medic. Kushusi reached for his charge, green light surrounded him then blinked out immediately.

"Help me move him to the floor," Kusushi entreated, voice betraying nothing. Minato shoved the chair out of the way with one foot and eased Kakashi to the ground. The jonin was completely unresponsive to anything the medic did, eyes shut, breath whistling, and body shaking. Kusushi knelt beside Kakashi, then glanced up at Minato. "Lord Hokage, please move back so I can tend to him."

Minato obeyed, standing up and taking a step backward from the pair. The emerald light from Kusushi's hands highlighted the lines of tears that were out of place on Kakashi's cheeks. The man in the floor didn't even look like the jonin he knew, not without his armor and headband on. He looked like a stranger in Minato's clothes. The Hokage could almost believe that except for the way his chest ached at the sight.

Minato turned away and followed Inoichi into the hallway. The interrogation room had a panel of glass that allowed someone to look in, but prevented the person inside from seeing out. Minato would still be able to see Kakashi while getting an explanation from Inoichi.

The man stood with both palms pressed against the wall, head hanging forward between his shoulders. "Are you okay, Inoichi?" The Yamanaka nodded then pushed himself upright, turning toward the Hokage. "What happened in there?"

Inoichi sighed. "I've never seen a reaction that strong, Hokage-sama. Kakashi was reliving the memories rather than simply being aware of what I was seeing."

Minato wondered what could reduce Kakashi to that level of blind agony. "What was it?"

"Most people have a handful of painful or frightening memories that are immediately obvious when we begin Saiko Denshin. Once those are isolated, we can sort through other memories." Inoichi paused, then frowned. "For Kakashi, the painful memories never stopped coming."

Ninja led difficult lives, so Minato wasn't surprised that Kakashi had darkness inside him. "Did you find any recollection of Gai? Any memories at all?" If there was a single event that could have caused this type of pain in Kakashi, it would have centered around that.

Inoichi shook his head. "There were no memories of his death, or the mission that caused it. Or, they were buried deeper than I could reach. I didn't discern a block though. Kakashi fully believes that all the memories I saw are real, but most were jumbled or fragmented. I would need to complete a more thorough examination to give you better answers."

Minato glanced back into the room where Kusushi knelt over Kakashi, healing glow surrounding him. The jonin's body was no longer trembling, but he hadn't opened his eye yet. "Did you learn anything from his memories?"

"I didn't understand most of what I saw, the thoughts were more emotion than concrete details." Inoichi's words were careful. "When he cried out for Rin, the anguish and shame were suffocating, even secondhand. The memory itself was hazy though. Rain and darkness, then blinding lightning illuminating Rin's face as blood ran down her chin. Thunder shaking the ground and lung choking dust in the air. Rin screaming. Uchiha Obito coughing up blood and reaching for his left eye."

Of course Obito's injury would be painful for Kakashi. The other, blood running down Rin's chin, had to be related to what Kakashi had said in the office. _I killed her. I didn't imagine that; I didn't make it up_. Minato shivered and Inoichi continued. "Crimson splashed over the Uchiha crest. Blood covering Kakashi's hands, even under running water. The cloying taste of evil chakra in the air. Screaming and smoke. Uchiha Sasuke kneeling, sealing jutsu on his shoulder. Paralyzing fear. A black cloak with red clouds. Excruciating pain." Inoichi paused then looked away from the Hokage's eyes. "Naruto unconscious and bleeding in Kakashi's arms."

Minato's chest squeezed so tightly that he couldn't breathe, the last words repeated over and over. _Naruto unconscious and bleeding in Kakashi's arms. Naruto. Unconscious and bleeding._ He couldn't focus on that now. "What else?"

Inoichi shook his head. "I couldn't find any of the memories that should be there either. Nothing from his life with Rin. No images from their wedding day. No excitement about finding out she was pregnant. The joy of those should have been close to, if not greater than the pain, but there was only heartache."

There was the scuff of feet against the floor, then Kusushi cleared his throat. "Lord Hokage, Hatake-san is awake. I would advise leaving off questioning for the night. His chakra reserves are nearly depleted. Even the healing I've done can't erase his physical exhaustion. He needs rest. In fact, he should spend the night in the hospital."

"No," Minato said. "I'll make sure that he rests. Thank you Kusushi, you're dismissed. You too Inoichi. You two have been invaluable tonight." The men bowed to the Hokage, then shuffled down the hallway. Minato turned back to the interrogation room. Kakashi's elbows were on the table and his head was forward, fingers laced behind his neck. He didn't look up when Minato entered the room.

"Kakashi?" The Hokage leaned a hip on the table, then asked gently. "How are you feeling?"

The jonin's voice was hoarse. "Was Inoichi able to discover anything useful?"

"A little," Minato hedged. "You've pushed yourself too hard today, Kakashi. You're going to stay with Kushina and I until we get to the bottom of this. Can you stand up?"

The man pushed his hands against the table and stood, wobbling immediately. Minato was there before he could fall, one arm around Kakashi's waist to steady him as he guided the other arm over his shoulder. Uncharacteristically, the jonin sagged against Minato.

"I've got you, Kakashi," Minato said. "Just hold on."

The world shifted, then they were standing in the study at Minato's house. Kakashi groaned and Minato helped him sit on the couch. Transporting wasn't the most comfortable experience, but it was easier than dragging Kakashi through the streets. The man was drawing deep breaths undoubtedly trying to center himself and get the nausea to pass. "I'll be back in just a few minutes, okay? Make yourself comfortable."

Water, food, blankets, and pillows were the things that Kakashi needed. Those and sleep, probably several days of it. Pushing the door open, Minato stepped into the hallway and almost collided with Rin, who was pacing outside it.

Rin tried to see around Minato, but he blocked her view with his body. When she started to move toward the door anyway, the man caught her shoulders. Brown eyes, full of worry and unshed tears, came up to meet Minato's blue ones and he folded his arms around her. It was as instinctive as catching Kakashi before he fell. When Minato pulled her against his chest, Rin let out a soft sob. "How is he, sensei? I want to see him."

Rubbing her back, Minato glanced over Rin's head at Kushina. His wife shook her head in silent confirmation of what he already knew. The tears dampening his chest were proof that Rin was only doing marginally better than Kakashi. "We have to talk first," Minato murmured comfortingly, guiding her toward the table where Kushina was sitting. He pulled out a chair for the girl then took one beside her. She bit her lower lip, rubbing a hand over her stomach subconsciously. Minato followed the movement with his eyes, recalling how excited she and Kakashi had been when they'd found out.

The pair had asked Minato and Kushina over for dinner. During the entire meal, it had been obvious that the younger couple wanted to say something, but the food and dishes were cleared away without a word. Rin had been in the kitchen, washing one of the dishes when Minato saw Kakashi approach her. It had been brief, the way Kakashi pressed a hand to her stomach as he kissed her cheek, but Minato had known.

Later that night, when Kakashi finally told them, Kushina had squealed in excitement and thrown her arms around Rin, spilling congratulations and helpful tips. Kakashi had sat across from his sensei, looking the proudest and happiest Minato had ever seen. Had Minato looked that way when telling Jiraiya about Naruto? Probably. He and Kakashi had a lot of similarities.

Minato's chest squeezed tightly at the thought of the shattering man in his office and his unborn child. Rin was watching Minato, hoping for answers. She looked like she might be sick at any moment. This wasn't going to be easy, but he needed to tell her. "I know this is scary Rin, but right now Kakashi needs rest more than anything else. Physically he's exhausted, his chakra is spent, and he's having trouble with his memory. We don't know why yet, but we're going to figure it out."

"What happened to him?" Rin looked between Minato and Kushina, twisting a strand of hair around her finger.

For a moment, Minato thought about softening the blow, but this was too important. "We don't know yet," he answered honestly. "Kakashi is confused and hurting. Until we get it figured out, he may need space Rin."

Kushina and Rin were both looking at Minato like he was speaking a foreign language. "Sensei, he's my husband," the girl whispered. "If Kakashi needs anyone or anything right now, it's me."

"Rin," Minato began. Kushina reached across the table and squeezed his hand before he could finish.

"She's right Minato," Kushina agreed. "He needs her."

Looking at the two women, Minato knew he was beaten. Kakashi needed someone, and Rin had always been the force that saved him in the past. He and Kushina had often discussed how she was the only person who could find the light in Kakashi's darkness. He needed her, but Minato didn't know if he would accept her. Not now. "There's one condition, Rin. Kakashi is exhausted and not thinking clearly, if he asks you to go, respect his wishes and try not to take it personally. Kushina and I will keep an eye on him tonight, and for as long as it's necessary. Can you agree to that?"

Rin nodded and stood with Minato's assistance. Kushina moved to get pillows and blankets from the closet. When she brought them back and handed them to Rin, the girl glanced at Minato. _I still see her blood on my hands, hear the way she whispered my name with her final breath._ The words echoed through Minato's subconscious. He wondered if the same thing that had broken Kakashi could make him whole again, or if it would shatter him beyond repair.


	10. Everything I Thought I Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, a huge thank you for tabjoy13 and Cinlat for making this a stronger chapter. Secondly, I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up. I got caught up in KakaSaku and Genma weeks on tumblr, then real life exploded with so much chaos that I can't even put it into to words. This is longer chapter as well, it has a lot of flashbacks and important emotional groundwork for the future. Some of you may dislike it (I'm looking at you puffin <3), but I felt it was necessary. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as I do! Read, review, request! You're all awesome, thanks for putting up with me for this long!
> 
> Also, the title of the last chapter (In Pieces) and the one from this chapter are both in reference to the song Pieces by Red which is probably the single most song that has influenced this story.

Hugging the blanket and pillow against her chest, Rin drew a breath and started toward the study. Minato touched her shoulder, and she half-expected him to warn her about Kakashi's mental state again. Instead, hands far too gentle to belong to a trained killer brushed her cheeks, wiping away the tears that she hadn't realized were still there. With a pile of bedding between them, Minato hugged his former student, and lightly kissed the top of her head. "He needs your strength right now, Rin. More than ever."

Fear shivered through Rin's body at the words. She had never been the strong one. Whatever strength she had, had always originated with Kakashi. She needed him, far more than he would ever need her. The past few weeks felt like a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from. It had started the night Kakashi had awoken confused to find her in their bed. It had been the worst the past couple of days, because they'd fought and not made up after. Normally, whenever Rin was upset, Kakashi defused the situation with jokes and smiles. If that failed, he would hold her until the storm passed.

Kakashi hadn't done that when they'd fought last night, though. He'd shut down entirely, pulling away from her in a way that he hadn't since they were much younger. When her husband left the apartment, Rin wanted to go after him, but instinctively knew that she shouldn't. There were the rare fights that didn't end quickly, the ones where darkness gripped Kakashi, and nothing Rin could do would bring back the light. Kakashi needed space and time to put himself back together after those. He'd withdraw for however long it took, then come back to wrap his strong arms around her, pulling her against his chest. Then he'd tug the mask away from his face and kiss her, reminding Rin that he loved her more than anything else in the world. She always knew that no matter how bad things got, the two of them could work through anything as long as they were together.

Except, Kakashi didn't come back this time. Rin had cried herself to sleep, alone in their bed, and when she opened her eyes the next morning, Kakashi was still nowhere to be found. Feeling the worst that she had since her morning sickness passed, Rin wandered around their home, weeping and angry by turns. When someone knocked on the door later that morning, Rin had hoped that it was Kakashi, even though she knew better. Still, she was ready to throw herself into his arms, and apologize for every stupid accusation she'd made the night before.

But when Rin opened the door, it hadn't been her husband standing there looking sheepish, but her best friend. Obito had started to say something, but when he saw the expression on Rin's face, he closed the distance between them instead. The man had always been better at reading her emotions than he had any right to be. By the time Obito held her against his chest, tears were already running down Rin's cheeks. He'd tightened his arms in exactly the way she needed, then guided her to sit on the couch with him.

Between her sobs, Rin had explained that Kakashi hadn't come home the night before. The concerns that her husband didn't love her anymore, that she wouldn't know what to do without him, and a dozen other fears spilled out before she could stop them. While her outbursts were stupid and completely unfounded, they'd affected Obito. Rin could tell by the tension that entered his chest. He'd held her until the tears slowed, then finally stopped. Once he was sure she was okay, he'd pulled back and kissed her forehead. Obito mumbled something about needing to run a few errands, and promised to stop by and check on her later.

When later came, it was Kushina, rather than Obito standing on the other side of the door. While it wasn't unusual for the older woman to come to the apartment, Rin knew this wasn't a social visit. It was far too late in the evening for that. Kushina made Rin sit down, then told her that Kakashi had been injured. Rin jerked to her feet as the world stopped turning, and fear rushed in, sharp and sudden. She'd demanded to be taken to him, but Kushina shook her head gently, saying that Minato was with Kakashi, and he'd already been healed. All they could do was wait. As terrifying as the prospect was, Rin knew sensei would take care of Kakashi, as he always had.

Even now, standing outside the office door, Rin still had more questions than answers. Kushina hadn't said exactly what happened, even when she tried to get more information. Rin eventually realized that Kushina didn't know anything beyond what she'd revealed. Which meant the situation could be much worse than she was imagining. Minato tried to hide the worry behind his usually infectious smile, but Rin could see it. No matter how much they said not to worry, things were obviously bad. In the end, though, it didn't matter. The only thing of importance was her husband, and he waited on the other side of the door.

Exhaling, Rin squared her shoulders, then pushed the door open. Kakashi sat on the couch, elbows on his knees, head hanging forward. He didn't look up when she stepped into the room, or when she closed the door behind her. For some reason, Kakashi wore Minato's clothing rather than his own, the blue was lighter than his normal preference. Her husband's sandals and headband were on the floor next to him, but his mask was still in place.

Kakashi didn't look injured, at least not physically, but that was hardly surprising. Kushina has mentioned that he'd already been healed, and while training accidents were common enough, how had Minato come to be the one to take Kakashi for treatment? Her husband had planned to train his genin today. Rin had no doubt that Sakura would have come for her if something happened in training. The woman cleared her mind, those were questions for another time.

"Kakashi?" Rin said his name softly, padding across the room as if he were an easily frightened animal. Kakashi's posture didn't change in the slightest. She repeated his name a second time, settling the pillow and blankets on the floor beside the couch. Now that she was closer, Rin realized Kakashi was trembling. The man that she'd always seen as a fortress of strength drew a shuddering breath, then squeezed his eyes shut.

So many people assumed that Kakashi was emotionless because he held himself away from them. Rin had never believed that, even when they were younger. She'd seen Kakashi's pain at losing his father and the boy's desire to keep from making the same mistakes. In the aftermath of Obito's death, Rin had watched Kakashi almost lose himself in the regret until she and Minato-sensei dragged him back from that precipice. Then, a badly battered Obito had come back to the village, one arm slung over Minato's shoulders, and Kakashi's pieces had fallen back in place.

There had been bumps along the way, of course, but Kakashi and Obito built a friendship that had somehow restored both of them. Not long after Obito's return, Kakashi had finally worked up the courage to ask Rin out. Though she'd loved him for as long as she could remember, Rin was amazed at the complexity that was Kakashi in love. He could shift from serious to silly in a heartbeat, though he would never allow anyone else to see it. She'd watched him transform before her eyes, stealing her heart in a way that terrified her even as she surrendered to it.

One night, after weeks out of the village on a mission, Kakashi had shown up at Rin's window. Dirt and blood still marred his cheek from a gash that disappeared into his mask. When she reached for the wound, he'd caught her wrist, and pulled her against him in an embrace that nearly squeezed the life from her. Before she could ask what was wrong, he pulled down his mask and kissed her like his life depended on it. She'd still been trying to catch her breath when Kakashi asked her to marry him.

They'd built a comfortable life together, settling into a natural routine of missions, friendships, and alone time. Once they were married, Kushina started dropping hints that they needed to start a family of their own. Kakashi had blushed such an alarming shade of crimson that even Minato had laughed at him. Life had been as close to perfect as it could be. Then, six months ago, everything changed.

Gai's death had hit Kakashi nearly as hard as Obito's. It was the first time since Kannabi Bridge that she'd seen her husband cry. He'd barely made it through the door before his strength crumbled. If the crash of his knees hitting the floor hadn't been enough to draw her attention, the frantic gulps of air preceding his sobs were. Rin had found him trying and failing to breathe through his pain. Kakashi had been coated in dirt and blood, the crimson liquid dyeing the entire front of his flak vest red. Rin would later learn that it was Gai's, but in that moment, it hadn't mattered. She'd dropped to the floor beside Kakashi, holding him close as his entire body shook with sobs.

When the self-blame started spilling from Kakashi's lips, Rin had silenced him with a lingering kiss. He'd clung to her desperately, tears shining and threatening to fall from his eyes again. There were some agonies that ran too deep for words to ease the pain, so Rin didn't try. Kakashi's hands had come to her face, thumbs tracing the curves of her cheeks, the curl of her ear, down her neck. He'd pulled his headband away, sharingan drinking in every detail of Rin's face as if he would never see it again.

Pain from the loss, mingled with the fear of losing Rin in the same manner, lent urgency to Kakashi's touch as he kissed her. When she'd helped him out of his armor, his desperate vulnerability had left her breathless. Kakashi needed her, needed to know that he wasn't alone, and she'd answered him with the same longing. Rin would have gladly taken the hurt from his beautiful eyes if she could have. But that was impossible, all she could do was remind Kakashi that she loved him more fiercely than anything else. They hadn't even gone to the bedroom. They'd made love in the middle of the floor, surrounded by his bloody armor and tattered clothes.

Afterward, they'd showered, Kakashi allowing her to wash the blood from his skin. Then, the pair had fallen into bed together. Rin had held Kakashi against her chest as if she could somehow protect him from the horrors of death and failed missions. The soft inhalations from the man might have been crying, or the natural progression of breathing as he fell asleep. Rin couldn't tell, and she didn't ask.

Kakashi had dealt poorly with Gai's death, prone to bouts of depression that sucked the life out of him. When Rin found out that she was pregnant, she'd done the backward math that every girl did in a situation like that. The night that he'd returned from that disastrous mission, and the few days after it, were the ones that made sense. Rin didn't know if Kakashi realized that something so perfect could come from that much pain. She hadn't told him in an effort to keep from dredging up the painful memories. When Kakashi found out that she was pregnant, he'd smiled, and touched her stomach in gentle wonder.

Exhaling slowly, Rin forced herself back to the present to look at her husband. Kakashi wasn't emotionless, he was just selective about who he allowed to see his emotions. Not unlike his behavior after Gai, Kakashi tried to retreat into himself, throwing up walls to shut out a pain that Rin didn't understand. When she touched the man's shoulder, he flinched away as if it physically hurt. She frowned, and followed, maintaining the warm contact.

"Kushina said you were staying here tonight." Rin kept her voice soft, wondering if memories of Gai were running through Kakashi's head. "I brought you a blanket and pillow. Do you need anything else?" _Do you need me?_ She didn't ask it, but the question hung behind her words. Kakashi didn't shift toward Rin, but he didn't move away, either. Meanwhile, the shuddering of his body remained constant. Her chest ached at the fact that he was in pain, and she had no idea how to make it better.

"Talk to me, baby," Rin entreated gently, moving her hand to rest on Kakashi's head. He sighed as her fingers slid through the silver locks. This was another of Kakashi's quirks that he'd never reveal to anyone else. The man loved to have his hair played with, to the point of immobilizing pleasure when she scratched her nails against his scalp. Perhaps it was unfair for Rin to use one of Kakashi's weaknesses against him, but she'd do anything to break through his hurt.

When her touch produced no discernable effect, Rin closed her eyes, and forced herself to be stronger. "I'm going to stay in Naruto's room tonight, so I'll be just upstairs if you need me." Bending down, she kissed the top of Kakashi's head. "I love you."

Rin turned away before the tears could start. Minato was right. Kakashi wouldn't benefit from her surrendering to her emotions. As she moved toward the door, a hand closed around her wrist. "I wasn't strong enough to save you. I should have seen what you were going to do. I couldn't-" Kakashi's voice broke.

The gentle pressure on her wrist was enough to bring Rin back around to Kakashi. His eyes searched her face, but she had no clue what he was looking for. "What are you talking about? You've always been the one to save me."

"Not the one time it mattered." Kakashi dropped his hand away, balling them into fists. His eyes screwed shut in pain, and his body shook twice as hard as before. The sharp inhalation through his nose, followed by the shifting of fabric as he exhaled through his mouth, proved that Kakashi was struggling to pull himself back under control.

Rin stepped closer and placed her hand on his shoulder again. "Kakashi, let me help you. I'm right here."

"But you shouldn't be," Kakashi pleaded, but Rin had no idea if he was talking to her, or to himself. "I watched you die," Kakashi choked on the agony, drowning under the weight of his regrets. "I've watched you die again, and again, and again. Maybe I've finally lost my mind." The final words came out in a pained chuckle, even though Rin couldn't see the humor in them.

Kakashi was shattering in front her, but Rin didn't understand why. All that she could do was try to catch the pieces as they fell. Later, she would hold him together and fix whatever this was.

"I killed you, Rin. I tried to stop, but there wasn't enough time. I tried-" Kakashi managed to choke out her name a second time before tears stole his words.

The jumbled apologies made no sense, but Rin didn't need them to. The tears spilling down Kakashi's cheeks were enough to break her heart alongside his. Her husband crumpled forward, and Rin dropped to her knees in front of him, wrapping her arms around him. Kakashi didn't shy away this time; he didn't have the energy left to do so. Rin pulled his head against her shoulder, trying to quiet the frantic worry that rose in her chest. Rather than asking him to explain, she met Kakashi where he was.

"It was a nightmare," Rin said soothingly. That explanation was the only one that made sense. Kakashi didn't respond, except to gulp in another breath of air. Moving her hand up, Rin gently lifted his chin, and watched his mask dampening before her eyes. Carefully she slid her hand along Kakashi's cheek, following the gentle curve of the fabric. When he didn't stop her, Rin slid the dark cloth down to pool around his neck. It had to be easier to breath without the mask covering his nose and mouth.

"I'm here," Rin whispered, brushing at the damp tracks on Kakashi's face. Catching his left hand, Rin brought it up to her cheek and held it there. She leaned into Kakashi's touch until his thumb almost imperceptibly brushed over the warmth of her skin. "I'm here Kakashi," she repeated, as if her touch could break through to him when nothing else did.

To her surprise, Kakashi opened both eyes as he gazed down at her. War waged inside their inky and crimson depths, but Rin met his stare unfazed. His face contorted as he fought with himself, trying to justify something that she didn't understand. Whatever it was, they would work through it together. Kakashi was her husband, and Rin loved him, regardless of the hurt and confusion in his eyes. When she whispered his name this time, Kakashi exhaled and cradled her cheek with his hand.

"You're alive," Kakashi breathed, fingers running over her face like he'd never seen it before. Rin ignored the way that his tone made the words sound like a question.

"I am," Rin agreed, brushing away his remaining tears. They looked out of place on his features. Her husband's expression was still pained, but it was softer now, like he'd won whatever battle he was fighting. His fingers traced across her skin, then curled around an ear. She held perfectly still, letting the familiar, calloused fingers explore, like this was a new experience for hm.

As Kakashi's hand slid down her neck, Rin felt the tremble pass through his entire body. To her surprise, Kakashi used his free hand to tilt her face toward his. Her husband leaned forward, and time slowed around them. His other hand moved to hold her cheek as he pressed their lips together. Kakashi's kiss was tentative and uncertain, lacking his usual confidence. Even so, it was the first time he had shown any tenderness toward her in weeks, and Rin's heart skipped a beat as she answered. He lingered there for only a moment before pulling back.

Kakashi exhaled against Rin's lips, letting his hands fall away. As much as she didn't want to part, she was starting to lose feeling in her toes, despite her best efforts to wiggle them. Rin shifted as she knelt in front of Kakashi, and his lips twisted into a frown. "You shouldn't be on the floor." His gaze moved down to her stomach, and something akin to shame, or horror, flitted across his features. It was at odds with the blush their kiss had left on his handsome cheeks.

After the emotion and stress of the day, a laugh bubbled through Rin's lips. "You could join me down here, you know?" There wasn't actually enough room for Kakashi to join her, despite her teasing. Rin pressed her hands against Kakashi's thighs and pushed herself to her feet. He caught her wrists and helped her up, then moved over so Rin could join him on the couch.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi mumbled as he released her hand. "I should have realized how uncomfortable you were. I don't know how to be a good husband yet." The man blushed through his exhaustion, looking much younger than he actually was.

Rin nestled against Kakashi's shoulder, bumping it with her own. "You're a work in progress, but I'd still choose you every time. In this world, and every other."

The air left Kakashi's lungs in a soft exhale that sounded on the edge of pain. He turned to Rin, studying her face. "Do you mean that?" She could hear the hope in his voice.

"Every single time," Rin answered without hesitation, punctuating each word. Lifting Kakashi's arm so she could slip under it, she cuddled against his chest and twined their fingers together. "I love you, Kakashi." She murmured it softly, telling herself that she would be okay if he didn't say it back.

The man tightened his arm, drawing Rin closer so he could brush his lips against her hair. Kakashi held her against his chest, and she relaxed into the familiar intimacy of her husband. Several moments passed, and Rin realized that Kakashi's breathing was deepening toward sleep as the exhaustion of the day caught up with him. When she snuggled closer, his eyes opened slowly to focus on her face. "Will you stay with me tonight?" He was half-asleep already, but his request was tentative.

Rin grinned. "That depends," she paused until Kakashi raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Are you going to ask Minato-sensei for an extra pillow, or should I?"

* * *

 

"They've been quiet for a long time," Minato fretted, glancing at the door to his study for the fifth time in the last fifteen minutes.

Kushina looked up from the the shirt she was mending, and nodded. "They have, and you're still not going in there."

Minato huffed under his breath, and turned to watch his wife. Kushina was the epitome of calm, which was unusual considering her normally spirited demeanor. Rin had been in the room with Kakashi for half an hour, and under normal circumstances, that wouldn't have been cause for alarm. However, considering the events of the day, and the man's mental condition, it felt like an eternity. When Rin first entered the office, there had been a low hum of conversation, but the words were too soft to discern. Even those sounds had ceased, and only irksome silence remained. Not knowing what was happening was driving Minato insane.

"Are you sure Rin didn't say whether or not there was something going on between them? Or whether this had anything to do with Obito?" Minato laced his fingers together, resting his hands on the table.

Kushina's needle paused mid-stitch, and Minato knew that she was trying to decide how much to tell him. His wife was close to every member of Minato's team, of course, but she'd taken a special interest in the only female. Rin's pregnancy had only made the two women's bond stronger. Minato should have taken Kushina's initial avoidance to his questions as proof that the knowledge she held was none of his concern. His wife would only break Rin's trust if the information was essential to whatever was going on.

After tying off the thread, Kushina folded Minato's shirt and placed it on the table. "We always knew that their team dynamic was going to be complicated. It isn't anything new." Minato nodded. He and Kushina had discussed this issue not a month after he'd taken the position as Kakashi, Obito, and Rin's sensei. Even then, it had been obvious that Rin was infatuated with Kakashi, and Obito was equally infatuated with Rin. The three of them had been a disaster waiting to happen, except that Kannabi Bridge had destroyed them first.

Minato had returned to Konoha with two broken students instead of three bickering ones, and the world shifted to accommodate. He'd tried to support Rin and Kakashi after that mission, but there was only so much he could do with the war still raging around them. Then, one day, Minato realized that Kakashi needed Rin far more than the boy needed him Likewise, Kakashi was essential for Rin's existence. Minato had stepped aside and watched them save each other. Her fascination with the young jonin had eventually matured into something more, though it would be years before Kakashi realized it.

After the accident, Kakashi changed as well. Ironically, he took on some of Obito's traits; the rules became less important, and he stopped being consistently punctual. Though the man would probably deny it, he'd come to lean on Rin during those first few months. Her kindness softened his harsh edges, while he strengthened her in turn. She became Kakashi's anchor to reality, and he'd become fiercely protective of her, both on and off missions. Though Rin was a pretty girl, she'd never had another suitor. The mere thought of having to tangle with Kakashi kept most of the boys away. Not that Rin seemed to mind.

Years passed without word of Obito, despite the people that Minato sent to recover the Uchiha's body. Then, one day, the message came that an ANBU squad had found a badly injured Leaf nin, and Obito was suddenly back in everyone's life. Minato had expected a few explosions as everyone readjusted, and he hadn't been wrong. By that time, Rin was completely in love with Kakashi, and he was only starting to realize his own feelings. In true Kakashi form, he'd pulled away from her when Obito returned. Minato could still remember the day that Rin ran to Kushina crying because Kakashi said he wouldn't stand between Rin and Obito. While Kakashi might be a genius at many things, women were not one of them. His nobility almost ended in a beating from Kushina, until Minato stepped in. He was only slightly gentler with Kakashi than his wife would have been, but at least Minato used words instead of fists.

By that time, Kakashi had been in love with Rin as well, but he was too scared to act on it, paralyzed by his fear of the unknown, of losing her, and of failing her. Obito loved Rin too, had probably never stopped, but he no longer fit with the fabric of their lives. He was too scarred and broken, no matter how much his former team tried to fix him. Within months of his recovery, Minato had suggested moving Obito into the ANBU. The Uchiha's skills had improved dramatically in their years apart, though Obito wasn't forthcoming with how he'd acquired so many new jutsu. Minato eventually got enough information to satisfy himself with the boy's explanation, and let it go.

While both boys were equally protective of Rin, unfortunately, Obito had the emotional instability of an Uchiha, which led to several fights between himself and Kakashi. It had taken Rin time to learn what she could tell Obito about her life with Kakashi, and what she shouldn't. Eventually, the trio had worked out a balance that allowed Obito and Kakashi to grow into friends. After seeing the state of Kakashi, however, and imagining what Obito must look like, Minato was convinced that the balance had tipped again. If this fight had been over Rin, it was the worst one to date.

"Rin didn't know they'd fought, Min," Kushina interrupted the man's ponderings. "I told her that Kakashi had been injured in a training accident, and that you were taking care of him." Kushina closed her sewing supplies, and tucked them on top of Minato's shirt. "Let's just go to bed and sort the rest of it out in the morning. They clearly aren't fighting, or we'd hear them."

"You said that Rin was going to stay in Naruto's room," Minato protested.

Kushina gave Minato a smile that made him feel like the jaws of a trap were closing around him. "Only if they didn't work things out before bedtime, and it sounds like they did." Despite being a married man, Minato blushed at the insinuation. Kushina laughed and shook her head. "Oh don't worry, I'm sure they'll be quiet. Besides, they are married, ya know?"

"It's my office," Minato choked out. He knew that Kakashi was far too exhausted for anything like Kushina was implying, but the mere implication made him shudder. They were married, yes, but they could be married in their own home. "I'm going to check on them before I come to bed."

Kushina frowned, but didn't try to stop her husband. Though she tried to downplay it, Minato knew that she was just as curious about what was going on in the office as he was. He knocked softly on the door to give a warning, then pushed it open.

Kakashi sat on the floor with the blanket half-thrown across his lap. His shoulders leaned against the couch cushions, and his head tipped back in a position that looked distinctly uncomfortable. The man was clearly asleep, and Rin slept on the couch behind him, curled on her side. One arm stretched from beneath the pillow to rest on the Kakashi's shoulder, and their fingers were linked loosely together against the jonin's chest. Her other hand tangled in the man's silver hair, as if she'd fallen asleep playing with it.

"Aww," Kushina cooed, sliding under Minato's arm to peek into the room. She pressed against her husband's side. "See? They're perfectly fine."

Minato nodded without speaking, watching as Kushina looked at his students with maternal pride. Loss settled heavily in his chest as he took in the pair sleeping in his office. How would he ever be able to explain to Kushina and Rin that this man, who looked just like Kakashi, might not really be him?

* * *

"What did the wall do to you?" Obito spun, chest heaving as pain burst through his hand. Tenzo stood in the doorway, one muscled shoulder leaning against the frame. The man wasn't wearing his armor, just the sleeveless black shirt and dark pants of ANBU. As he caught a glimpse of Obito's face, Tenzo's lips pulled into a frown. "If a wall made my face look that way, I'd hit it too."

Obito chuckled and released his clenched fist, feeling some of the tension ease out of his body as he turned to the younger man. While Obito may have taken Kakashi by surprise with his fury on the training ground, the jonin hadn't been entirely unprepared to fight. A bruise covered Obito's right cheek, swelling toward his eye, even though he was able to keep it open well enough. His lip was busted, and Kakashi had loosened a couple of teeth, but the ANBU had gotten the better of their fight. Kakashi's knee to the groin had been entirely unwarranted, though.

"You look terrible, senpai." Tenzo stepped into the room, and scrutinized Obito's face. His fingers touched the purpling skin, and the older man cringed away. "You really should have a medic look at it to make sure there's no permanent damage."

"Worried that I won't be as pretty?" Obito snorted, thinking of the scars that already crisscrossed his face.

Tenzo chuckled and shook his head, looking at Obito with the half-smile that he seemed to wear no matter what was happening. The fact that Tenzo was here meant that someone had seen Obito's injuries when he came back to the barracks. Sometimes, it annoyed him that Tenzo looked after him like this, but at other times, Obito was thankful for it. Outside of his former teammates, Tenzo was easily Obito's closest friend. In some ways, his fellow ANBU knew Obito better than Rin and Kakashi ever could.

When people worked so closely together on the edge of life and death, it was natural for deep friendship to develop. Obito trusted Tenzo completely, and the man trusted him the same. _That's what happened with Kakashi and Rin_ , a traitorous voice whispered inside Obito's mind, and he felt like slamming his hand into the wall again. While he'd been written off as dead, fighting to survive, Rin and Kakashi had been falling in love. The pain surged through Obito, strong enough to take his breath.

"Can I do anything?" Tenzo asked, not letting the subject of the medic drop. Both of them knew that Obito's body would heal through the damage soon enough. Quick healing for most injures was one of the gifts he'd inherited from Madara. It was also one of the things that he and Tenzo had in common. There were a lot of things that the two men shared. Obito wasn't as emotionally distanced as many of the ANBU; he still felt things deeply, too deeply, truth be told. Tenzo was the same: a soul too gentle to be in the black ops, but held there because of his past.

For the briefest of moments, Obito considered throwing himself at Tenzo, tumbling the man backward into the bed, and losing himself there. Tenzo would never refuse Obito, much as Obito would never turn him away. Loneliness often went deeper than the need to be loved. Sometimes, it was as simple as needing to be seen and felt by another person. That was another lesson that Obito had learned in his isolation. He took a step closer to Tenzo, desire whimpering in the back of his mind, then shook his head, hating himself. Tenzo deserved better. Obito sucked a breath around the pain that threatened to choke him. "No, Tenzo."

The other man's fingers slid over the bruise once more, then fell back to his side as he gazed down at Obito's bloody hand. Unlike the eye, these wounds were fresh. "What happened, anyway? I'm assuming the wall didn't actually attack you."

"I picked a fight with someone a little tougher than the wall," Obito admitted. "Kakashi, actually."

Tenzo frowned, eyes narrowing. Obito had never tried to figure out how much Tenzo knew about his past. The fact that Obito was one of the Hokage's former students was well known in the village, so it was safe to assume he could make the connection between himself and the silver-haired jonin. The Uchiha didn't go out of his way to talk about himself, but he'd slipped up a few times with Tenzo, telling him more than he intended.

Once, on a mission that had gone wrong, Obito and Tenzo were pinned by the enemy, waiting for either reinforcements, or death. Obito had pulled out a folded photograph from beneath his flak vest. Though it was probably against regulation, Obito always carried the image of his genin team, and treasured the memory of a simpler time. Even though he knew that he looked like a sentimental fool when he was supposed to be a captain, Obito hadn't tried to hide the image when Tenzo edged closer for a better look.

Obito had told Tenzo about what a jerk Kakashi had been, how Rin had been the mediator that held them together, and all the times he thought Minato-sensei would lose patience with them all. Once he started talking, the words refused to stop. He'd talked about training, missions, and a million silly things that didn't matter any longer. Tenzo had smiled sadly and squeezed Obito's shoulder like he understood. Then, their teammates were pulling them out, and Tenzo and Obito never talked about it again.

"He spoke to me the other day," Tenzo said. That was perhaps one of the last things that Obito expected to hear. It must have shown, because Tenzo continued. "I guess he was looking for you, and chose to talk to me instead. I wasn't even aware that he knew my name."

Obito exhaled in a humorless snort. "Kakashi knows everything. At least, he thinks he does." He scrubbed a hand over his face. Tenzo gave him the look that said he wanted to know what had happened, but wasn't going to ask.

"We had a misunderstanding, and a few punches were thrown. It wasn't that bad." Obito tried not to think about the blood on his hands, or the way that Kakashi had cringed away from the final blow that landed next to his head. It had taken much longer than Obito had anticipated for Kakashi to fight back. Almost like he welcomed the pain.

"How badly did you hurt him?" Tenzo was nothing if not practical. Obito was one of the deadlier ANBU in hand-to-hand combat.

Obito remembered the blood scent in the air, the liquid dampening Kakashi's mask, though it kept Obito from seeing the damage he'd inflicted. Kakashi's eye had been swelling shut before the fight was over. "He'll be fine. I didn't leave any lasting damage." At least, he didn't think he had.

_But I could have_ , Obito thought, hating himself for the second time that night. _I could have seriously injured him during our training fight in front of the genin too._ He'd been so angry after seeing Rin's tears, that he'd acted without thinking. He should have gone back to the barracks, gone for a run, or anything except looking for Kakashi. Of course, logic had never been one of Obito's stronger points. Challenging Kakashi in front of his genin had seemed like a good idea at the time. In fact, it seemed like a great idea, right up to the moment that Kakashi almost didn't counter his fireball jutsu in time.

_You're jealous because she chose me_ , Kakashi's words were as painful as they were true. Obito was jealous of Kakashi. Jealous of the life he led, and the woman he held in his arms. Obito had tried to bury that part of himself so he could remain in their lives. He cared about both of them, he always had, but he couldn't turn off his feelings and act like they didn't exist. Even years in ANBU hadn't taught Obito that jutsu yet. He still felt everything, even the things he shouldn't- _especially_ the things he shouldn't.

"I've got to go, Tenzo. I have a promise to keep." Obito knew that Rin would be furious with him once she saw Kakashi. He'd toyed with the idea of going to their apartment right after the fight, but his blood had been boiling, and Obito hadn't wanted to do something that he couldn't take back. Instead, he'd done the sensible thing for once, and gone for a long walk. But when he got back to the barracks, Obito was still furious.

Now that he'd punched the wall half a dozen times with an already injured hand, Obito was feeling moderately better. Even so, he took a shower, and changed into clean clothes before walking toward Kakashi and Rin's apartment. The idea of showing up with Kakashi's blood on him would hardly endear Rin to his case. As he walked, Obito glanced down at Minato's seal on his wrist. He wondered how long it would be before he was called before the Hokage to answer for his actions. Probably as soon as Minato knew. They'd had this conversation before, and Obito knew that the repetition of it wouldn't be any kinder than the first.

When he got closer to the apartment, Obito rehearsed what he was going to say. He'd apologize to Kakashi first of all. No matter his personal feelings, the Uchiha knew that he'd been out of line by hitting him. He and Kakashi were friends, and he wished Kakashi and Rin the best together. He just wanted to make sure that Kakashi was taking care of her. Obito decided to throw himself on Rin's mercy, claiming temporary insanity. That would probably work. If not, she would hit him and then probably heal him. That was one of the perks of having a medic as a best friend.

When Obito reached their apartment, however, there was no answer at the door, despite the hour. Had Kakashi been more injured than Obito anticipated? If so, Rin would be furious and repay him in kind. Resigning himself to his fate, Obito decided to check the hospital.


	11. Consequences

Pain exploded through Obito's chin when the heel of his opponent's hand connected. Stumbling backward, he grabbed for the other man's wrist. Tenzo spun away, clipping Obito's shoulder while the Uchiha was unbalanced. Cursing, Obito moved to intercept, aiming a fist at his opponent's back. The other shinobi was quicker. Tenzo not only avoided the attack, but he managed to cut the flat of his hand at Obito's neck. The blow stopped short of dropping the Uchiha to his knees, earning Tenzo an angry glare.

"I yield," Obito grumbled. Had it been a real fight, the attack would have taken him out efficiently.

Tenzo didn't revel in beating his captain. He never had, on the rare occasion that it happened. "Do you want to talk about it," the younger man asked, coming around to face Obito.

The pair had been training for the past two hours, Obito getting progressively worse, while Tenzo got better. This was the third time he'd forced Obito to yield, but the first that he'd drawn blood. Turning away, Obito spat out a stream of pink saliva, then shook his head. Sweat dappled Tenzo's forehead, and the man wiped at it with his forearm, brown eyes boring into Obito's darker ones. "You've been off all day. Is this about last night?"

After failing to find Kakashi and Rin at their apartment or the hospital, Obito had wandered around the village for hours, lost in his own thoughts. He hadn't injured Kakashi badly enough to kill him, he was sure of that much. Kakashi was one of the most boring people that Obito had ever met. More often than not, the man preferred a quiet night in with a book. Infrequently, Rin dragged him away from his solitude, but after the events of yesterday, Obito had expected to find them at home. Except, they weren't.

For a few minutes, Obito had considered going to Minato. If anyone knew what was going on with the pair, it would be their sensei. But, in the end, he'd lost his nerve. Obito didn't want to have to explain the situation since he'd clearly allowed his temper to get the better of him. Kakashi had goaded him, yes, but that was no excuse. Tears and tantrums had no place in a shinobi's life. Minato had lectured Obito on that point often enough that it should have been etched in his brain eternally.

Obito's performance on the training grounds hadn't been helped by that fact that he hadn't slept last night. He'd tossed and turned while waiting for the summons that never came. Near dawn, he'd fallen into an uneasy sleep that lasted less than an hour. When he woke, he'd dragged Tenzo out to train.

The man watched him with those worried, puppy-dog eyes, standing loosely in preparation to move. Obito shrugged at Tenzo's earlier question. Of course, his distraction was about last night. Rather than talking about it, he inclined his head. "Again."

Tenzo surged forward, body moving effortlessly through an attack aimed for Obito's ear. The captain deflected it with a forearm and punched toward the man's collar bone. Tenzo leaped away, pivoting back to face his opponent. They were practicing hand-to-hand today. No jutsu or weapons, just strength. Though both men had the lithe, willowy frames of shinobi, Tenzo outweighed Obito in muscle, so the Uchiha needed to end this quickly. Following the younger man, Obito pushed his advantage, punches interspersed with kicks to keep Tenzo on his toes.

For a blissful moment, the world simplified to the buzz of battle. Everything stilled except the burn in Obito's muscles and dance-like fluidity their training took. Tenzo turned, and Obito moved with him, hand breaking through the man's defenses to catch his shoulder with a glancing blow. A heel caught his thigh, but the attack was weak enough that it slid away harmlessly. Tenzo landed, then launched himself into another attack with the opposite foot. It came dangerously close to Obito's chin before he sprang out of the way.

When Obito pressed his fingers onto the ground for balance, agony ripped through his wrist so suddenly that the muscles in his forearm gave way. Thrown off balance, he tipped to the side and landed in an awkward crouch rather than on his feet. Tenzo stood close, halting the momentum of his attack the moment he saw the wobble. Groaning, Obito grabbed his forearm, half expecting to see a kunai sticking through the muscle. The seal on his wrist glowed golden-red, like it had been branded into the skin beneath. Minato's summons was urgent enough to take his breath.

"Senpai," Tenzo began, worry slipping into his voice as he offered a hand.

"It's fine." Obito batted the hand away and dragged himself back to his feet. The searing pain had lessened to an uncomfortable burning beneath his skin, but it didn't fully dissipate. The constant reminder that he'd been summoned to the Hokage's office rang through every nerve in his body. "I have to go, Tenzo. I'll see you later."

Without waiting for a response, Obito disappeared in a puff of smoke. He didn't materialize directly in the Hokage's office; it was too far. Instead, he got as close as he could, pausing to take a breath and collect his thoughts.

Obito had known this summons was coming since the moment he'd thrown the first punch yesterday afternoon. That it had taken so long was probably a bad sign. Perhaps Minato had gone through the process of removing Obito as Anbu. Or even worse, maybe he'd waited to bring Kushina with him. As much as the woman liked him, Obito knew that he wouldn't escape her wrath. She liked Kakashi, too. Determined to face his fate, Obito wove the seals to transport him to the Hokage's office.

* * *

Minato didn't startle when Obito appeared on the opposite side of his desk streaked with sweat and dirt. He'd felt his former student approaching with little conscious effort on his part. Touching the seal on his wrist with one finger, he removed the insistent burning of the summons. Obito clasped his hands behind his back, staring straight ahead without speaking. Minato remained where he was, looking up at the man from the shadow of the Hokage hat he rarely donned. He allowed the silence to stretch until Obito broke. "You summoned me, Hokage-sama?"

"I'm sure that comes as no surprise." Minato spoke slowly, letting each word drag out, heavy with implication. It was a tactic he used on Naruto when the boy was in trouble, which was often. Minato waited for the man to shake his head before continuing. "Kakashi was surprisingly tight-lipped about what happened. Most of the story came from Naruto. He said that you challenged Kakashi in front of his genin, no holds barred."

Obito inclined his head slightly. Minato could tell the man was wondering exactly how much he knew. "Of course, the black eye, broken nose, and busted lip didn't come from a training match. Kakashi _tried_ to tell me that Sasuke broke through his defenses, but we both know that's a lie."

Minato didn't ask for more, he waited, watching Obito struggle to come up with a reason. "Yes, Hokage-sama," the man finally answered.

"So," Minato allowed the unspoken question to hang in the air. Obito wilted beneath it. His shoulders slouched forward and his single, visible eye darkened with emotion. "Why don't _you_ tell me what happened?"

Obito sighed, drawing even more into himself, identical to the way that Naruto did when he'd been caught misbehaving. "I let my temper get the better of me," he began slowly, like the words were being pulled out against his will.

Minato didn't tell Obito they'd had this discussion more than once, but the thought was there. He'd watched the dynamic of his team from their earliest days together and seen the feelings that Obito harbored for Rin. And conversely, the love that Rin held for Kakashi.

Then, life had happened, and the pieces fell into a different pattern than any of them had anticipated. Minato didn't fool himself that Obito's feelings had changed. The only argument powerful enough to bring Obito and Kakashi to blows was Rin. At least, Minato could expect it of Obito. Kakashi surprised him.

"What happened?" Minato prompted when the silence continued.

"I-" Obito paused for a moment, then the words flowed out in a rambling torrent. "Rin was upset that Kakashi wasn't acting like himself. She was wondering if maybe he was seeing someone else, and-"

Minato raised a hand to stop the flood of words. "And you believed that Kakashi might be cheating on her? _Kakashi_." He emphasized the final word to underscore his surprise that anyone could consider that. Rin might, she was pregnant after all. Minato shuddered as he remembered some of Kushina's mood swings. Thankfully, those days were behind them.

"She was upset and crying," Obito countered, throwing up his hands for emphasis. "What was I supposed to think?"

"That she's pregnant, emotional, and quite possibly overreacting?" Minato suggested. _That she was right, but not for the reason she thinks._ "Regardless of her feelings, taking it out on Kakashi wasn't the answer."

Obito shifted a second time, guilt appearing on his features. When he didn't speak, Minato drove the knife a bit deeper. "There was no lasting damage, by the way." His words were clipped, irritated without any additional effort on his part. "You left him a mess, though. I'm surprised he made it to our house under his own power. Did he even fight back?"

After seeing the bruises and blood, Minato had wondered how long Kakashi let Obito hit him before survival instinct kicked in. The jonin had always felt like he owed something to Obito, for their past. It wouldn't have surprised Minato to learn that Kakashi didn't return the punches. Obito's face was clear of damage, but his unique healing ability would have taken care of most of the physical evidence by now.

"Eventually," Obito's voice dropped softer on the admission.

Scoffing, Minato shook his head. "You should know better, Obito. You're a shinobi, _Anbu_. You can't give into your emotion, even when it's Rin." He held up a hand to stop the justifications that would almost certainly pour out of the man. "There is nothing that excuses this. You attacked a comrade, one of Konoha's respected jonin. You could have killed him, Obito."

"I could have," the Anbu agreed. "But, I didn't."

Minato sighed and looked at his former student. "I can't ignore this. Do you really have no better defense than you lost your temper?"

Obito shook his head without speaking. Minato had expected as much. "This can be contained between ourselves. We don't need to bring this up after today. You're confined to the village for the time being." Obito opened his mouth to argue, but Minato spoke over him. "We have the chunin exams starting in two days, so we'll need a heavier presence anyway."

After a long moment, Obito bowed his head. Minato continued, "I won't make you apologize. But, I'd advise you to avoid Kushina for a day or two. While I'm disappointed in you, she's livid. Let it blow over before you try to talk her."

"Minato-sensei, I-"

"It's over," Minato interrupted. "You're dismissed."

* * *

After Obito left, Minato turned his chair to glance out at the village. His day was stuffed with meetings and appointments that needed immediate attention. Competitors and spectator's filled Konoha, eager to get settled in before the exams. Though Ibiki didn't need the Hokage's input for the first test, Minato had gone through the questions with him anyway. The pair had also discussed what each village would be looking for in the students that passed.

Memories of his own exam flashed through Minato's mind, but he pushed them away. If he followed that path too far, he would start worrying about how Naruto would handle the stress. As much as Minato loved his son and knew that he worked hard, the Hokage didn't fool himself into believing that Naruto had any special skills when it came to written tests. The first exam would be the hardest for the young genin.

Thinking of the boy immediately brought Minato's thoughts back to Kakashi. That was a puzzle that he needed to unravel, and soon. In the meantime, on the off chance that Kakashi had some kind of premonition, Minato would order the Anbu to double their watch on the village. He'd issue those orders through Tenzo rather than Obito, underscoring the latter's punishment. It would take some time for the Uchiha to cool off.

A knock at the door pulled Minato from his worries. This was only the third of nearly a dozen meetings that were on the Hokage's plate today, and Minato wasn't looking forward to any of them. Genma poked his head into the office, then pushed the door open to admit Uchiha Itachi. The young Anbu, still in uniform with white fox mask hooked at his hip, looked uncertain at being summoned to the Hokage's office, but there was nothing to be done for that.

Itachi bowed as the door shut behind him. "You summoned me, Hokage-sama?"

"I did," Minato inclined his head, watching the youth across from him. Itachi was one of his personal Anbu, along with Obito, so it wasn't unusual for him to be summoned to the Hokage's office. Even so, when Itachi's intelligent, dark eyes rose to meet Minato's, a measure of calculation entered them. It wouldn't be easy to lead into this conversation, so Minato started with the simplest question. "Are you familiar with a genjutsu called tsukuyomi?"

Though the Anbu's expression remained neutral, Minato knew the question caught him off guard. The Uchiha were protective of their clan secrets, and any genjutsu that wasn't widely known was almost certainly theirs. Even so, Itachi was loyal to the village above his clan. The boy shook his head. "Should I?"

"Perhaps," Minato said, glancing down at the papers on his desk. He hadn't talked to Hiruzen about this yet, but he would. "Have you ever used a genjutsu against Hatake Kakashi?"

This time, Itachi's eyes widened in surprise. "Of course not, Hokage-sama."

Though the Anbu didn't ask, it was obvious that he wondered where the question had come from. It wasn't difficult for someone as intelligent as Itachi to put the pieces together. Minato imagined the boy working through the circumstances that could have led to the question and coming up with an alarmingly short list. There were few visible indicators that he was on edge, but Minato took notice of the subtle signs. The faint tightening at the corner of his mouth, a slight shift of weight to both feet like he wanted to face the accusation squarely.

"I didn't suspect you had," Minato said to ease the boy's worry. "Thank you for your honesty. That's all for now."

Itachi bowed a second time, looking wary of putting his foot in a trap. "As you wish."

After the boy left, Minato stared through the space where he'd been standing. He had expected nothing less of the Uchiha prodigy. He was honest and straight-forward in his loyalty to the village. The idea that he would have used a powerful genjutsu on Kakashi was absurd. Even so, Minato had to eliminate every possibility.

Sarutobi Hirzuen would know more about the genjutsu, if anyone did. Minato had a feeling that meeting would last far longer than either of them liked.

* * *

wWarmth woke Kakashi. The sensation was followed closely by the steady caress of fingers through his hair. His arms and head weighed too much to move, heavy and numb. Memories of yesterday came back sluggishly, the distracting touch made it hard to concentrate. Even as he tried to shake off the vestiges of sleep, those tempting brushes along his scalp made him long to stay where he was.

Kakashi opened his right eye fractionally, then inched it wider to blink at the room. Normally, waking up somewhere unfamiliar sent a surge of panic through the jonin's body. This time, he felt an overwhelming sense of calm.

"I was starting to wonder if you were going to wake up before dinner," Rin whispered alarmingly close to Kakashi's ear. Only years of training kept him from startling. He immediately recognized the feeling of her nails against his neck. The second thing he noticed was the fact that his mask rested on his chest.

"What time is it?" Kakashi's voice sounded rusty as his mind whirled, trying to fit together the pieces of last night. He'd been exhausted by the time they made it back Minato's, and that had been before Rin arrived. The details were hazy, but there were brilliant flashes of hurt and hope mixed together.

_I kissed her_ -the memory asserted itself to the forefront of Kakashi's mind. He recalled the softness of her lips on his, the flutter of emotion inside his chest, and falling asleep with their fingers linked.

"It's nearly-" Rin paused, hand pressing against Kakashi's cheek, then forehead. "Your face is red, are you feeling alright?"

The surge of chakra stole Kakashi's breath as Rin explored his body for injury or sickness. "I'm just warm," he mumbled, pulling away slightly. "Warm, and exhausted."

"But, do you feel okay?" Rin worried, shifting to see more of Kakashi's face. "Kushina told me you were hurt in a training accident yesterday."

_A training accident?_ Of course. Kakashi hadn't told Minato or Kushina what really happened. Naruto's over exuberance had given them the hint that Obito had hurt Kakashi, but he hadn't revealed the details. Rin gazed at him with those honey brown eyes of hers, asking for an explanation. "Sasuke got through my defenses," Kakashi lied.

"A genin not only landed a hit on you, but one that required healing?" Rin asked skeptically, brow furrowing.

"It's not impossible," Kakashi reasoned, pushing himself off the floor.

Turning, Kakashi looked at Rin apprehensively. He didn't want to explain that Obito had hurt him, much less get into the reasons why. Though Kakashi hadn't been married for long, he knew he didn't want to start that discussion. Rin forced herself to her feet and approached. Without asking permission, she wrapped her arms around Kakashi's waist and pulled him close. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too," Kakashi answered, holding Rin there for a moment.

The exhaustion of the night before had lowered Kakashi's defenses, allowing Rin to get close to him. The warm softness of her lips, the teasing brush of fingers against his chest, the flirty banter. Kakashi remembered the dampness of tears on his cheeks, and the easy way that Rin wiped them away. _Kami, this world makes no sense._ Despite that, the nagging sense that something wasn't right remained in the back of his mind.

"Where is Minato-sensei?" The question eased the pair back toward safe topics, ones that Kakashi didn't have to examine too closely. The memories of last night were still scattered shards.

Kakashi glanced at Rin, wondering how much she knew. He couldn't imagine Minato telling her most of what happened. The fact that she questioned his story about Sasuke landing a hit proved that she didn't know about the fight with Obito. It stood to reason that she wouldn't know about the time with Inoichi either. Until Kakashi could put the pieces back together, he was determined not to reveal too much.

Sighing, Rin pushed a strand of hair behind one ear. "He went to the office early this morning to take care of some things." She turned toward the door and dropped her voice. "Are you going to tell me why Kushina was so angry this morning?"

Kakashi tilted his head to look down at Rin. "How would I know? _Someone_ let me sleep half the day away."

"Because you clearly needed it," the woman answered without missing a beat. Rin's voice softened. "You weren't in a good place last night. I'm not going to pry, because sensei said you need some time. But, I hope you'll tell me what was wrong."

When Kakashi didn't answer, Rin bumped his side. "Kushina was furious at Obito. Are you sure you don't know what that's about?"

Forcing a laugh, Kakashi eye smiled. "No doubt he's done something else stupid. I wouldn't worry about it."

Rin chuckled under her breath. "Probably. Kushina said Minato would want to see you whenever you felt up to it." The woman's voice trailed off, inviting him to say more.

"Well, I shouldn't keep him waiting," Kakashi concluded. Rin wanted an answer that he wasn't ready to give. Forcing another smile for his wife, Kakashi turned away. "I'll see you tonight."

* * *

Minato had been dreading the moment that Kakashi walked through his door, but he'd known it was inevitable. There were too many questions after their conversation last night, too many unresolved issues that needed to be dealt with.

After talking to Obito, Minato found himself even more torn. On one hand, nothing could excuse Obito's behavior, especially his poorly veiled feelings for Kakashi's wife. On the other, there _was_ something wrong about Kakashi, and it ran deeper than jealousy. Minato hoped that he and Hiruzen could make some sense out of the situation, but he needed to talk to Kakashi first.

The jonin glanced around the room, grey eye taking in the corners as he entered. Kakashi's shoulders held the weight of the world, tensed against the pressure. Minato wondered if the man realized how much of an open book he was sometimes. He nodded toward one of the chairs on the opposite site of his desk. "Sit."

Kakashi sank into the seat. The mask made his face difficult to read, but Minato had known him for most of his life. He could see the uncertainty in the set of Kakashi's jaw and the deceptively lazy stare.

Minato exhaled, giving Kakashi a moment to relax before speaking. "Obito confessed to starting the fight, and attested that you have no blame in it." He paused there, letting Kakashi speak. When the jonin maintained his silence, Minato continued. "You don't get injuries like yours in an unprovoked fight. You always did know how to bring out his temper."

Kakashi inclined his head fractionally.

"Whatever his reasons, Obito was wrong," Minato relented slightly. "I can't make you forgive him for being foolish, but I hope you will."

"Do we have to tell Rin what the fight was about?" Kakashi's tentative tone surprised Minato. The man raised his eyes to meet the Hokage's gaze, bolder than he normally would have.

Minato paused, considering. "You assume that I know?"

Fabric shifted to reveal an almost smile beneath Kakashi's mask. "Obito always spoke too much when he was in trouble. I don't think the years have changed him."

Laughing, Minato nodded. "He revealed some of the details, yes, but I imagine he kept just as many to himself. Obito is worried about Rin. She's understandably emotional lately." Again, he paused, but this time it was to collect his own thoughts. "Kakashi, I don't mean to put myself into your business, but you know I care about you and Rin."

Wariness edged into the Copy Nin's visible eye when he nodded. "I do."

"Between this fight, and the things we discussed last night, something is off. Until we can get to the bottom of it, I think you should take time away from missions." Kakashi didn't protest. If anything, he sank lower into the chair, as if bracing for a blow. Minato forced himself to continue. "I'm temporarily removing you from active duty. Your students are busy with the chunin exams anyway. Take a few weeks, spend time with Rin. You'll wish you had time for that once the baby gets here."

"I'm not crazy, sensei." Kakashi sighed, shoulders dropping in defeat. It wasn't a look that Minato often saw on the jonin.

For a moment, Minato wanted to reach across the space between them and squeeze Kakashi's shoulder in encouragement. But, this wasn't the time for kindness. "I don't think you are, but you need some time away from the stress," Minato tapped his fingers against the desk. "At least, temporarily. Maybe the time off will jog your memory about the chunin exams."

"Maybe," Kakashi sounded entirely unconvinced.

The doubt in the man's voice made Minato's chest ache. Standing, he moved around the desk as Kakashi stood. "I don't know what your memories mean, Kakashi, but I would never let anything happen to you or Rin if it was in my power to stop it. Go home, enjoy time with your wife. Pick out baby names, do something besides sit and brood."

Kakashi managed a weak laugh in the back of his throat. "You'll let me know when you find something?"

"Of course," Minato answered, clapping his former student's shoulder. "Everything will work out."

Minato watched the door for a long moment after Kakashi left, wondering how he could ever begin to put things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So several things I want to put into the author's note. As usual, thanks to Cinlat and tabjoy for beta reading this chapter. I also want to apologize for the amount of time it's taken me to get this chapter finished. Several things have happened in the past few months that have severely restricted my time5. Firstly, work has been insane after some staffing changes leaving me working 40-60 hours any given week. On top of this, hubby and I found out we are expecting our first child, so between work and that, writing time has basically disappeared. I haven't abandoned this story (or any of the others that are in progress), I just don't have as much time right now. But hopefully the next chapters won't be as far away as this one has been. Thanks for your patience, and as always for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!


	12. Moving Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first of all, yay new chapter! I know it's been ages but like I said in the last update, hubby and I were expecting our first munchkin. Things were chaotic the past three months because of that and health issues related to it. Without going into details, baby arrived early (and has been here for several weeks) and we are finally getting settled into something that resembles a routine. There is still a lot in the air with my schedule as far as the baby and work goes, so I can't make any promises about getting the next chapters done as much as I'd like to. In that same vein, I know many of you are impatient for the next chapter, but this isn't my only story so please be patient. It's frustrating to have fans of this story post on other new chapters or works of mine, asking me to update this. I promise I'm not abandoning it. All of that said, this is a setup/slower chapter in preparations for the upcoming chapters (during which you'll probably wish there wasn't quite so much action and chaos lol), two of which have significant chunks of them already written. So, again, sorry for the wait, thank you to my lovely beta readers (Cinlat and Tabjoy), and I hope you guys enjoy!

 

Darkness slanted through the blinds of the Hokage's office, driven back by the lamp on Minato's desk. Exhaling, the man leaned back and looked around the room with tired eyes. The day's meetings had ended hours ago, but dozens of last minute items required attention. With the worries about his former students, the upcoming chunin exams, and the sense that something was off, he'd lost all track of time. Minato had more questions than answers now, but he thought all of the puzzle pieces were there, if he could figure out how they fit together.

Minato stood and stretched his back, enjoying the pull and pop of muscles held static for too long. Kushina would laugh at him later, teasing that a desk job presented more physical soreness than active duty. Sometimes, he yearned for the days when he could fulfill a mission without weighing every consequence and the impact of his actions. Those days had passed long ago. That reality didn't provide any comfort, or lessen the pressure of his responsibilities now.

Removing the Hokage cloak and draping it over his chair, Minato decided that the questions could wait until tomorrow, when he had the mental capacity to deal with them. Flicking off the light, he left the office. At this time of night, only a handful of shinobi were visible in the streets. Most nodded or bowed briefly, then continued on their way. For which, Minato was thankful since he'd already be home later than usual.

A welcoming halo of warmth shone from the light outside Minato and Kushina's apartment. Pausing for a moment, he drew a breath to steady himself for the coming chaos. Surprising silence greeted Minato when he opened the door. Naruto should have been home by this time of night, which normally meant enthusiastic outbursts about whatever had happened during the day. Generally, it consisted of complaints about Sasuke, praises for Kakashi's ability, or rambling about Sakura. Most of the time, it was a spattering of all three in rapid succession. While Minato loved his son, sometimes he found him exhausting.

Still standing in the doorway, Minato removed his sandals and placed them neatly to the side. He was in the process of pulling off his vest to hang it up when Kushina appeared. With one hip leaning against the wall, she crossed her arms over her chest and regarded him through narrowed eyes. Minato wondered if she'd be angry that he'd gotten home nearly four hours late. His wife didn't speak, but her eyes softened in an expression that managed to lift some of the burden from his shoulders.

"Naruto is staying with Sasuke again." Kushina began, pushing smoothly away from the wall. "I thought you might need some quiet time after the last couple of days."

A surge of gratitude at his wife's thoughtfulness nearly stole Minato's breath. He managed to mumble his thanks as Kushina approached, her arms encircling his waist. She didn't ask him to explain or even speak. With years of marriage behind them, Kushina understood that after dealing with dozens of decisions and problems all day, Minato needed just a few minutes of quiet in the evening to recenter himself. He rested his chin against the fiery hair the he loved so much, holding her close. The soft warmth of Kushina's body relaxed him further.

After a few moments, Kushina poked lightly at Minato's side. "You're late for dinner, you know?"

"I'm sorry, I had-"

"A dozen meetings to go to, plans to make, jutsu to research, and a million other things vying for your attention," Kushina teased, using Minato's own excuses against him. "Being Hokage is a lot of work."

Laughter bubbled in Minato's chest. No matter how dark things looked, Kushina would always be the bright spot in his life. Her easy sense of humor lifted the weight of his position far more than she would ever know. Minato tipped Kushina's head back so that he could kiss her. "I love you," he murmured against the softness of her lips as they curled with gentle laughter. He lived for that sound.

"Prove it." Kushina pulled away, eyes sparkling. Her grin left little doubt about her intentions, and the fact that they had the house completely to themselves for the night finally sank in. When Minato reached for his wife, Kushina danced away, moving toward the bedroom. Shaking his head at the absurdity of life, he pursued her through the semi-darkness, earlier problems pushed to the back of his mind.

Nearly two hours later, Kushina elbowed Minato's side, stirring him from of the lazy, half-sleep that he'd fallen into. "Your stomach is growling and keeping me awake," she complained, nestling closer despite the harsh words.

"Well, someone didn't make dinner," Minato answered, trailing his fingertips across Kushina's bare shoulder. Moonlight spilled into the room, making her pale skin glow silver where the beams touched it.

"We could heat something up, you know?" Kushina countered. "Then, you can tell me about your day."

_There it is,_ Minato thought without vocalizing the words. Though his wife rarely completed missions these days, she'd lost none of the analytical skill that had made her an exceptional jonin in the past. Kushina knew that Minato had a difficult day in the office, so she helped diffuse the pressure by providing him an escape. Now, she wanted to understand the problems that faced. She wouldn't leave him to clean up this mess by himself, not if she could help it, anyway.

Minato hummed in agreement when his empty stomach broke the silence of the room. Climbing out of bed, he fished blindly for his pants and pulled them on. Kushina followed, wrapping a pale, silk robe around her lithe frame. Minato slid one arm around her shoulders and guided her toward the kitchen to see what she'd planned for dinner.

_Of course it's ramen,_ Minato thought a few minutes later when he and Kushina settled on the couch with rewarmed bowls. "Naruto would be furious if he knew that we were eating in here," Minato commented, recalling all the times his wife had shooed the boy back to the kitchen with his dinner, citing the danger of messes.

"We're more careful than he is," Kushina reasoned, turning sideways so that she could rest her feet in Minato's lap. She slurped at the noodles in her bowl, then sighed contentedly. "Besides, what he doesn't know, won't hurt him."

Shaking his head, Minato sampled the rich broth. Though he didn't love ramen the same way that Kushina and Naruto did, he appreciated his wife's cooking. Until the first bite hit his stomach, Minato hadn't realized how hungry he was. The pair ate in silence, food disappearing at an alarming rate. When they were finished, Kushina nudged Minato's stomach with her foot. "So, are you going to tell me what's going on? I've been really patient."

Minato couldn't argue with that fact; Kushina had shown a considerable amount of self-control over the past two days. Even so, the situation wasn't easy to put into words. He began by trying to recall what she already knew. "Things with Kakashi are  _complicated_ ," Minato drew out the final word, watching his wife's reaction. She raised an eyebrow, then dipped her head to encourage him to continue. "He argued with Obito, that's where the injuries that you saw came from. They fought over Rin-"

A low growl rumbled in Kushina's throat. "What was Obito thinking? He knows better than to drag up those old feelings for Rin. The next time I see him, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind."

Chuckling, Minato rested a calming hand on Kushina's leg until she fell silent. "Obito wasn't thinking. He overreacted, but that's hardly surprising. Kakashi  _has_  been acting strange the past couple of weeks."

Minato paused again, wondering how much to divulge. Kushina loved his former students like they were her own children. Hearing Rin's fears that Kakashi might be cheating on her, Obito's accusations, and Kakashi's memories of watching Obito and Rin die, not to mention Minato and Kushina themselves, would be difficult for her.

"Kakashi has memories that can't be true," Minato offered, determining to hold some things back until he knew more. "He remembers the Kyuubi rampaging on the night of Naruto's birth, attempting to destroy the village. We died sealing the beast inside Naruto to save Konoha."

Kushina's eyes widened at Minato's words. Unconsciously, she brought one hand to rest on her stomach. Minato knew her thoughts must have turned to the creature trapped inside her. The destructive force that she'd been chosen to contain wasn't something she would wish on anyone else, especially her child. The memories of Naruto's birth pushed their way to the forefront of Minato's mind. It hadn't been an easy night for anyone, but neither had it yielded the tragic consequences that Kakashi remembered.

Suppressing the thought, Minato revealed more of what Kakashi had told him. "He vividly remembers Obito being killed on the Kannabi Bridge mission during the war, but not that he returned to the village." He paused before delivering the heaviest detail. "He's convinced that Rin died by his hand."

"What?" Kushina interjected before Minato could get into the few hazy details he'd managed to glean. "How could he believe that he'd do something like that? Kakashi's has always protected her, often at great risk to himself."

Minato nodded, Kushina's words mirroring his thoughts. "That was one of the things I hoped to learn through Inoichi's examination, but Kakashi's reaction was so disturbing that we had to stop." Pale lightning and the chittering of birds flashed through his mind. Minato still hadn't gotten to the bottom of how Kakashi managed to summon his chidori without hand signs, but now wasn't the time. "Even so, there were no traces of the key memories we expected to find. Nothing of his marriage or life with Rin, or Gai's death."

The soft intake of Kushina's breath made Minato wonder if he should have kept that tidbit of information to himself. He clearly recalled the day that Kakashi appeared in the Hokage's office, covered in blood, cradling Gai's body in his arms. Undoubtedly, Kushina remembered the event just as vividly. "Is it a genjutsu?" She asked, sitting up as worry creased her features. "An injury of some sort? If not physical, some break with reality brought on by stress or loss?"

Minato frowned thoughtfully, considering the latter two options. While Kakashi had been reckless with his health when he'd been younger, that changed after marrying Rin. His risk taking had decreased significantly once he found out they were expecting the baby. Even so, an injury made as much sense as genjutsu. "I'm not sure yet," Minato hedged.

"What did Hiruzen say about it?" Kushina questioned, staring into her bowl rather than looking at her husband.

"Keeping an eye on my schedule?" Minato fought to keep the amusement out of his voice. Though he'd never given Kushina any reason to doubt him, she still got jealous from time to time. Territorial might be a better word. After all these years, it still made him smile.

Kushina poked Minato's shoulder. "Maybe. Now, stop changing the subject. What did he say?"

"Sarutobi believes that a genjutsu of that magnitude is unlikely, but we need more information to be sure." Minato didn't reveal everything of his meeting with Hiruzen, only sharing enough to satisfy Kushina's curiosity.

When Minato had revealed the situation to the former Hokage, Hiruzen's brow creased noticeably as he confronted the question from all angles. He was one of the smartest men that Minato knew, and if anyone could get to the bottom of this, it was him. While he'd been content to step out of the spotlight after the war, Sarutobi frequently advised Minato on some of the difficult issues that came through the Hokage's office. Kakashi was one of the most complex problems that Minato had run into during his tenure, but between the two of them, they were bound to come up with a solution.

Unsurprisingly, the first advice that Minato received from Hiruzen had been to speak with the head of the Uchiha clan, Fugaku. Tension still existed between the two men, even years after Minato had been named as Hokage. Many people in the village, especially from the Uchiha clan, felt that Fugaku was more deserving of the role. It had taken Minato years of hard work, Itachi's appointment to Anbu, and Obito's return, to begin mending the hard feelings.

As head of the police force, Fugaku had to work closely with the Hokage's office, but he often went through Minato's advisors. If he found it unusual to be called into Minato's office earlier that day, he didn't show it. Instead, he stood by passively as the greetings and forms were observed. Much like Itachi, Fugaku seemed surprised to learn that a genjutsu of such magnitude existed. Or, perhaps, he only looked surprised to realize that Minato had found out about it. Either way, the man promised that he'd look through the clan archives, and Hiruzen agreed to follow up in a few days to be sure that the clan head put his full effort into the research.

With that potentiality taken care of, Minato went on to explain the evening that he and Kakashi had spent with Inoichi. While Hiruzen was curious about the unprecedented reaction Kakashi experienced, he agreed that there was no way to find out what happened without trying the jutsu a second time. Both men knew, however, that it would need to wait until Kakashi had recovered. Furthermore, the questioning would be more effective with additional members of the intelligence division to assist Inoichi.

Then, the discussion turned toward the chunin exams. In the end, the only protection that Minato and Hiruzen could offer was an increase of the Anbu presence in the village. Too many spectators and competitors had already arrived, eager to pit themselves against each other. To cancel the testing now, without a concrete reason, would be a show of weakness that the Leaf couldn't afford. They would watch, wait, and put up extra precautions, hoping that Kakashi's memories were false.

Pushing the thoughts from his mind, Minato dragged himself back to the present where his wife was rapidly growing impatient with his silence. "I've temporarily pulled Kakashi's name from the active duty roster," he admitted. "Until we have more answers, it's too dangerous to allow him into the field. He needs to take a step back and focus on his family, anyway."

"They'll be okay, won't they?" Kushina questioned softly, nestling closer.

Minato slid an arm around his wife's shoulders. This worried, nervous persona wasn't one that Kushina often revealed. Minato drew her into his safety, mimicking the manner that she'd used earlier to ease his stress. "Don't worry, everything is going to be fine."  _I'll get the answers, no matter what I have to do to find them,_ Minato vowed silently.

* * *

After leaving Minato's office, Kakashi wandered through the village without a specific destination in mind. The familiar sights did little to ease the emptiness that swirled through his chest. The idea that he would be held back from missions was so foreign that Kakashi couldn't wrap his mind around it. Missions and duty had been a part of his life for as long as he could remember. Though, Minato was right. Kakashi needed to go home and talk to Rin, even if he didn't know what to say.

In the years since he'd lost his former teammates, Kakashi had often thought about all of the things that he wanted to tell them. Obito needed to know that he'd made Kakashi a better person, and shinobi, by helping him realize what really mattered in life. The other boy's adamant belief that Sakumo had been a hero by putting his friends ahead of his mission had eventually altered Kakashi's view of his father. The loss of Obito had profoundly affected Kakashi's outlook on life.

Once Kakashi realized the importance of friendship, he'd grown fiercely protective of Rin. The fact that she'd died by  _his_  hand had started a downward spiral that lasted for years in the timeline that Kakashi remembered. He'd never fully dealt with the guilt and shame of what happened. Kakashi knew that it was his fault, no matter how many people tried to tell him otherwise. He should have seen the look in Rin's eyes; he should have  _known_. The memory of that mission still haunted him.

_A dozen cuts covered Kakashi's arms and legs, stinging in time with his heartbeat. The wounds paled in comparison to the unconscious girl in arms. Rin's head lulled against Kakashi's shoulder, jostling whenever he moved. She'd been given some kind of sedative to take the fight out of her, but he could feel the life and chakra humming through her body. The further away from Kirigakure he carried her, the more she began to stir and fight through whatever drug they'd used. Though, she still hadn't opened her eyes._

_Kakashi traveled until the exhaustion nagging at his body finally slowed his footsteps. He'd been awake for nearly twenty-four hours in his mad rush to reach Rin. Only the knowledge that he would be useless to her if he collapsed made Kakashi drop lightly to the forest floor. Though pursuit was inevitable, he had at least a two hour lead. Gently laying Rin beneath the spreading branches of a tree, he opened his pouch and pulled out a soldier pill. Kakashi only used them as a last resort, but he couldn't think of a more desperate situation than this one._

" _Those are bad for you." Rin's voice made Kakashi's heart skip a beat. When he turned back toward her, the girl was pushing herself into a sitting position. One eye had cracked open, the other following shortly after, until her gaze captured his. A smile curved Rin's pale, chapped lips as she looked up at him. "You came for me."_

Of course I did,  _Kakashi thought,_  I always will, even against Minato-sensei's orders _._

_But, Kakashi couldn't vocalize the sentiment. "We're a team," he answered instead. "You don't do me much good if you're being held captive."_

_Rin managed a weak laugh, then shook her head and focused on Kakashi. "You're injured," she accused, eyes skimming over the gashes that decorated his exposed skin. Kakashi protested that he was fine, but Rin ignored him, pressing her hands against his shoulder. The warm, healing tingle spread through his body, knitting flesh back together like it had never been damaged._

" _You should save your chakra," Kakashi complained. "We aren't out of this yet." To punctuate his words, the jonin turned his attention back to the shadowed trees overhead. The enemy could be closing in, he couldn't afford to be distracted._

_Rin pulled back, horror painting her features so suddenly that Kakashi reached for a kunai. He hadn't heard anyone approaching, but maybe she had. "I can't go back to Konoha," Rin whispered, voice trembling._

_When tears formed in the girl's eyes, worry replaced Kakashi's fear. There were a lot of things that he could deal with: injuries, genjutsu, explosions, blood. Crying, not so much. He chose to ignore the liquid streaming down her face in favor of action. "You can. Reinforcements are coming, and we can hold out-"_

" _They plan to use me to destroy Konoha." Rin sniffled through the words, then wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I-they sealed the Three Tails in me, and I don't have any control over it. They're going to let it rampage through the village."_

_Kakashi found himself struggling to breathe as the air around him disappeared. One of the bijuu sealed inside of Rin? The thought was so unexpected that he almost burst into laughter. Then, Kakashi recalled the tears and fear in Rin's eyes. "Minato will have a solution," he asserted, with all the confidence of youth. "If not him, then the Professor, or Kushina. She contains the Nine Tails. She can help you learn to control it."_

" _No," Rin answered, voice firmer than it had been since she woke. "They're using me like a bomb. They only let you rescue me so that you'd take me back to Konoha."_

_The words stung more than they should have. It hadn't exactly been easy to extract Rin from the building where she'd been held. But, had it been difficult enough?_

" _There has to be an answer," Kakashi argued, refusing to accept that he'd fallen for the ruse. "We don't have to go back into the village right now, but let's get close enough that we can get help."_

_Rin shook her head. "You should kill me. The village comes first, right? You can eliminate the threat before it-_ I- _actually become one."_

_The words felt like a slap in the face. A year ago, Kakashi would have agreed wholeheartedly. Rin presented a danger to the village. Killing her would be painful for him, but it served the greater good. If one of the tailed beasts were unleashed inside Konoha, the devastation would be unimaginable. Hundreds would die. How could one life outweigh that?_ Easily, if it were Rin's.

" _If you can't do it, give me a kunai. You don't have to stay." Rin's words tore Kakashi from his thoughts. When he didn't answer, she reached for the weapon pouch on his hip._

_Kakashi caught her hand. "That is_ not  _the answer."_

I can't lose you too.  _Those words didn't make it past Kakashi lips either. He couldn't tell Rin any of the thoughts building inside of his mind. Maybe, once they got home, he would have the luxury of examining his own feelings. For now, however, he had to focus on the task at hand. Rin didn't argue when he suggested they get moving. She silently took the proffered soldier pill and leapt into the trees._

_Kakashi should have known then; he should have recognized the determination in Rin's stance. But, he'd been young and stupid, not nearly as mature as he thought he was. The pair had gotten less than two hours from that spot when the enemy caught up._

_Voices rang out through the semi-darkness, and rain poured around them, heavy sheets soaking everything. Kakashi remembered the dampness making it hard to breathe through his mask as his eyes took in the dozens of shinobi surrounding them._

_Rin moved closer, arm brushing Kakashi's. "Please," she pleaded. Though the girl didn't repeat her request a second time, he knew what she wanted. He could never,_ never  _allow Rin to take her own life._

" _No," Kakashi answered, watching the enemy nin approaching with weapons drawn. Hopelessly outnumbered, he only had one choice to help them survive this._

_Pushing up the slanting headband that covered his eye, Kakashi opened Obito's sharingan. The world froze for the space of half a heartbeat, then details leapt into his vision, each one vying for attention. Kakashi focused on the ones that mattered, the ones that could save their lives. He noted the man who would move first, his dirty, black hair held back by a wet bandana. Rivulets of water ran down the enemy's nose, splashing off the katana he carried. Anger and hatred burned in the stranger's eyes as his stance shifted marginally, making the preparations to lunge forward._

_The hand signs for chidori came easily. Kakashi had practiced the move often enough that they were second nature to him. Inhaling through his nose, he pushed the air out slowly, centering his attention. Kakashi would be able to take out the first enemy, and the four advancing behind him, with a single path of destruction. His movements should be too quick for any of them to react. Beyond that-no, he had to focus on the things he could do right now. He would figure out the rest later. Kakashi launched forward._

_Unexpected color blurred to Kakashi's left, and his hand collided with Rin's chest instead of the enemy's. Shock at finding her there blotted out the pain that would crash in moments later. She had come from behind his shoulder, beyond the reach of his sharingan. He couldn't have stopped, even if he'd seen her. Logic trembled, bowing to the emotion surging into his throat. Kakashi could feel Rin's life coating his hand, dripping from the fingertips that extended through her back. His vision darkened at the edges, focusing on her face to the exclusion of everything else._

_Kakashi choked on Rin's name as a sob shattered from his lips. His chidori flickered, then dissipated, leaving darkness behind. Time slowed and stretched, taut to the point of snapping. Rin's brown eyes grew round as she tried to speak, maybe to forgive him, or to curse him, but Kakashi never found out which. Anguish, unlike anything he'd ever experienced, jerked through his entire body, radiating from the sharingan. The world exploded in bursts of agony, darkness following._

_Hours later, Kakashi woke, surrounded by carnage and Konoha shinobi. The latter looked at him like some type of vengeful god, but he barely noticed. Rin was gone._

Even now, all these years later, Kakashi had no idea what happened after he blacked out. The events after Rin's death were fuzzy with regret, but they'd changed his life forever. After losing both of his teammates in such a short time, he'd stopped caring what happened to himself. Minato had tried to pull Kakashi back from the precipice that he'd willingly thrown himself toward, but it had been too late. Then, the nine-tails escaped and stole the last few bright spots of hope in Kakashi's life.

_But, not here_. The thought tantalized the back of Kakashi's mind, along with the memory of Rin's death. He'd relived the latter so many times that it threatened to choke the air from his lungs. A million times, he'd wondered what would happen if he could do it all over again. If he'd known that Rin was going to jump in front of him, he could have stopped it somehow. Here, he could apologize to her again, but a dozen times couldn't make it okay, or ease the guilt he felt. He had failed her when it mattered the most.

Kakashi's mind flashed back to his breakdown the previous night. Rin had looked at him with more love than he could possibly fathom. He'd wanted to reciprocate it, wanted to tell her all the words he'd always choked on in the past, but he didn't know how. Kakashi had never been good with relationships in general, but serious ones were even more foreign to him. Sarcasm and apathy were safer alternatives in the long run. After losing everyone, Kakashi had built walls to protect himself from feeling that type of hurt ever again. The idea of having a chance to make things right was impossible to wrap his mind around.

_It could be different. You could say all of the things that you didn't think you could._ Groaning, Kakashi shook his head to clear the idea away. It refused to go. Rather than following every instinct in his body to avoid the problem, Kakashi turned his feet toward home. Running away would only accomplish so much. He wanted answers, not only to how he got here, but also to what could have been. The only way to do that was to face Rin, and continue dissecting the situation until it made sense.

Warm light spilled from the windows of Kakashi's apartment, painting the landing in shades of gold and shadow. When he reached for the door, Kakashi found it unlocked. That domestic detail made his chest tighten uncomfortably. It spoke of calm and safety, things that he rarely got to experience. Swallowing his nervousness, Kakashi pushed the door open.

Rin turned toward the sound from her seat on the couch. A open book splayed across her lap and strands of soft, brown hair fell over one cheek as her eyes roved over Kakashi. "You're home," she breathed, shifting to a slightly different position while grimacing.

"And you're observant," Kakashi teased, forcing a smile that he knew didn't reach his face.

Rin rolled her eyes, but her smile showed good-natured amusement. While their team dynamic hadn't been exceptionally playful, there was enough to make the banter feel normal. Marking her place in the book with one finger, Rin flipped it closed. "Are you hungry? I can make something for dinner. Eggplant miso, maybe?"

Despite the offer to make his favorite dinner, Kakashi shook his head. He hadn't had much of an appetite the past few days. Moving across the room, he took a seat on the couch opposite of Rin. His eyes slid downward to the title of the book she'd been reading.  _Preparing for Baby and Baby's First Year_. Of course, Rin was worrying about the pregnancy, though how she could ever wonder if she'd be a good mom was beyond him. She had always taken care of Kakashi and Obito, far more than either of them deserved.

"You're going to be a wonderful mother," Kakashi offered, bringing his eyes back up. A smile split Rin's face, easing some of the worry lines that Kakashi knew he'd put there.

"I hope so." Rin's hand rubbed lightly over the swell of her stomach. Kakashi followed the movement, trying not to think about the reality of her pregnancy. Though he understood it on the basic level, the idea of impending fatherhood was absolutely terrifying. Far more than the notion of marriage.  _One step at a time._

When Rin continued watching him in silence, Kakashi realized that he'd have to make the first move if he wanted them to get through this. "Can we talk?" He asked. That should be vague enough to give him some wiggle room if he changed his mind about what he wanted to say.

"Of course." Rin's words came out a bit too quickly, like she'd been waiting, or perhaps hoping, for this opportunity. Finding her bookmark, she tucked it securely inside the pages. The expectant look on Rin's face made Kakashi nervous. What if he couldn't go through with this?

"Rules though," Rin said, interrupting Kakashi's panic by tapping her chin with one finger.

It took Kakashi only a couple of moments to understand. He reached up and lowered his mask. Rin inclined her head to let him know that he'd answered correctly, then folded her hands silently in her lap. Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and tried to find the words he wanted to say.

"I'm doing the best that I can," Kakashi finally settled on, knowing that the sentiment wouldn't make much sense to Rin. Not yet. Rather than speaking, the woman rested a hand on his knee, silently encouraging him to continue. All of the words that Kakashi had been practicing for the past couple of hours lodged in his throat. "I can't remember any of the things that I should, and I don't know why."

Kakashi wondered if he should admit to the version of events the he  _did_  remember. He could pour out every detail of his hurt and loneliness, but what would that accomplish? Those words would be difficult for Rin to hear, and the last thing that he wanted to do was hurt her more. He'd done that enough already. The memories of his failings were still too fresh. She loved him unconditionally here, maybe she always had. The pair had never moved beyond friendship in the real world, the one that Kakashi believed to be true. What good would it do to remind her that he remembered killing her, that he'd watched her die, that he'd failed her in so many ways? The memories made his throat clench around the sentiment like a weight.

Rin's hand brushed up the front of Kakashi's chest, startling him from his thoughts. "You were so nervous when you first asked me out," she half-whispered. "In fact, you only did it because you were jealous of Obito and afraid that he would ask me first. I'd been babysitting Naruto that night, and you showed up to help, even though you couldn't stand kids."

_Things haven't changed much, have they?_ Kakashi mused, wishing he could remember the events that Rin referred to. "That was the first time I kissed you, too," Rin continued, laughter trilling in her voice. "You walked me home after Minato and Kushina relieved us of duty. I could tell that you wanted to ask me on a date, but you kept stumbling over the words and doubting yourself. You were adorable."

Kakashi bristled at the word and tried to imagine any scenario in which it would apply to him. He couldn't remember anything about the night that she detailed, no matter how desperately he tried. Rin slid closer, so much so, that her knee bumped against Kakashi's, though it didn't linger there.

"Our first date was an absolute disaster." Rin's words painted images in Kakashi's mind as she shared more of her memories. "You were late, due to  _unforeseen circumstances._ I don't buy your excuses now, and I didn't then. Once we finally arrived at the restaurant, our food took forever to arrive. Despite having known each other for most of our lives, we couldn't find anything to talk about."

Kakashi cringed, wondering how old he had been at the time. In a world where Rin hadn't died, would he still be this far away from normal? She could have been his saving grace.  _If I hadn't killed her_. "It can't have been all that bad, could it? I mean, we still ended up together," Kakashi reasoned, listening to more snippets from the supposed nightmare that was their first date

"We ended up together because I persisted," Rin laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "It took you some time to get used to the idea of being in a relationship."

_Not nearly as long as it's taking me this time_ , Kakashi thought to himself. Rin continued to reminisce about their courtship, filling in some of the gaps, while creating dozens more questions about the past. Some part of Kakashi longed to know all of the intricacies of each and every moment. Another part cowered behind the wall of indifference that he fought to keep in place. When this world disappeared, it would be easier to have never known.

"It took over a year for you to work up the courage to ask me to marry you." A hint of teasing colored Rin's voice as she bumped into Kakashi again, remaining for a moment longer than last time. "To be honest, I'm still not sure that wasn't due more to blood loss than courage. You fainted not long after."

Heat rushed into Kakashi's cheeks. "I did what?"

"Fainted," Rin repeated, offering a triumphant grin. "You didn't even have a ring when you asked. You did it in the heat of the moment, which fits you perfectly."

If Rin noticed Kakashi's discomfort and unasked questions, she didn't stop for them. Reaching across his lap to the table positioned at the edge of the couch, she pulled out a photo album. How many times had Kakashi walked past it and never noticed? Rin flipped open the plastic lined pages and pointed to an image. "You were so handsome at the wedding. I was the envy of every girl in Konoha."

Kakashi studied the unfamiliar man staring back at him. Silver hair, normally unruly, had been wrangled into some semblance of order, and an inky mask perfectly matched the black kimono he wore. The lack of a hitai-ate drooping over one eye made his face look oddly empty, but Kakashi recognized the smile beneath the fabric covering his mouth. Minato stood beside him in the place that Sakumo should have been, beaming at the camera. Kakashi tried to ignore the sudden ache that flooded through his chest, both longing for the life that could have been and sorrow for the fact that it could never be.

Unaware of the tangled thoughts suffocating her husband's mind, Rin flipped to the next photograph. Obito's grin nearly split his face in half. The younger man's arm hung over Kakashi's shoulders, and both of them were obviously laughing. "Obito said you were so nervous that he almost restrained you when your pacing became insufferable, but you did okay in the end."

The final image showed Kakashi and Rin together. Both of his arms rested on her shoulders, fingers laced together behind her head which tilted to look up at him as Kakashi gazed down. The photographer had managed to capture an expression that Kakashi had never seen on his face before. In fact, the only thing that Kakashi had to compare it to was the way that he sometimes caught Minato looking at Kushina when he thought no one else was watching. Kakashi traced his fingers over the photograph. Rin's white kimono framed her body perfectly, somehow managing to cover and accentuate the curves and muscle beneath. Her hair had been twisted into an intricate design on top of her head, tumbling artfully down her neck. Small, silver combs glowed against the brown strands, stars caught in a sea of chocolate.

"You looked stunning," Kakashi managed once he could force the words from his tight throat.

Rin's eyes grew wide. "You remember?"

The hope in Rin's voice nearly broke Kakashi's heart. Seeing his unmasked expression, she must have known the answer immediately. Kakashi looked away, but he recognized the rustle of Rin putting away the album that they'd been looking at. Despite all of his efforts to avoid it, he'd hurt her again.

Fingers slipped beneath Kakashi's chin, forcing it upward. The warmth in Rin's eyes nearly stole his breath. He'd expected tears or anger, not love and understanding. "It's okay that you can't remember. I'm sure there's a reason, and we'll figure it out together." Kakashi wished that he could share her confidence.

"And, even if you never remember the past, there's always a future full of new memories." Rin's fingers slid higher, tracing the lines of Kakashi's cheek, leaving a trail of undeniable warmth in their wake. His eyes closed of their own volition as he leaned into her touch.

The kiss surprised Kakashi, as did the weight of Rin resting against his chest, but the feeling wasn't unwelcome. After years of nightmares and the horrors of the past two days, it gave him hope.


	13. Clouded Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 5900  
> Rating: T  
> Pairing: Kakashi/Rin  
> Summary/Warnings: Poor relationship skills, some fluff, some tension, plot building  
> Author's Note: I know, it's been ages. I haven't forgotten this story at all, nor do I have any intention of abandoning it. I just don't have the time that I used to. That said, I'm going to mostly be focusing on this story to get it finished rather than my other ones (unless the muse is fickle, which it often is). Sorry for the long wait, hope this chapter was worth it! Many thanks to Cinlat and Tabjoy for helping develop plot and make this story better

The chunin exams finally arrived, distracting Kakashi from his problems. He stood with Rin and his students outside the academy, doing last minute preparation. The first examination would challenge the hopeful genin's fundamental knowledge of shinobi tactics and their deduction skills. Though Kakashi didn't know the specifics of the written test, he knew his team. Sakura should excel at the informational portion, as would Sasuke, which would hopefully be enough to pull Naruto through.

"Try not to mess up your only chance to become chunin," Rin teased, raising her voice to be heard above the din of conversation. The area seethed with people; students, sensei, and curious onlookers from every village crowded together, trying to judge the competition.

"I'm going to pass, believe it!" Naruto shouted, flashing his signature grin. Sasuke rolled his eyes skyward, and Sakura looked between Kakashi and Rin, trying to determine if the older woman's words were a joke.

Kakashi ignored the banter between Rin and his students, leaving his wife to the task of putting them at ease. Several members of the intelligence corp pushed through the crowd, their grey uniforms standing out against the riot of colors around them. "It's almost time," Kakashi announced, stilling the nervous argument about which of his students would do the best.

As people filed into the building, Kakashi let his gaze wander over the gathered shinobi. Familiar green spandex and black hair drew his attention. The brief glimpse disappeared among the crowd, but Kakashi moved toward it instinctively. "Gai?"

Kakashi repeated the man's name, reaching for his arm. Half a second later, he realized his mistake: the frame was too small to belong to his friend and rival.  _Lee_ , his mind supplied the name, though he couldn't remember if he'd met the boy at this point in his own timeline. "Lee," he corrected. "Where's Gai?"

The boy had only a moment for his mouth to fall open, then a swirl of leaves appeared behind him. A hand dropped protectively on Lee's shoulder, pulling him away from Kakashi. "Go on," at the familiar voice, Kakashi's eyes flashed upward, meeting hazel instead of black. "Neji and Tenten are waiting."

Once Lee stumbled away, Genma turned back to Kakashi. "I thought I made myself clear, Hatake," the man growled, voice dripping like poisoned steel. "I don't want you anywhere near my students."

"Your students?" Kakashi questioned, looking at the genin a dozen strides away. Tenten had her arm around Lee's shoulder, whispering too softly for Kakashi to catch, while Neji glared daggers at him through pearlescent eyes. Why would Genma would refer to Gai's students as his? The tokujo had never shown any interest in becoming a genin sensei, nor did he meet the rank requirements. Minato wouldn't have made an exception when capable jonin were available.

Genma's chest swelled visibly at the question. "Someone had to take them on, didn't they?"

Kakashi's brow furrowed. Gai wouldn't take a mission this close to the chunin exams. The man had recommended his team personally. And even if he had, Genma was hardly the most responsible person to leave in charge of young shinobi. Gai would have to spend months undoing the damage of Genma's influence.

A shadow loomed closer, materializing into Asuma Sarutobi. The man placed a hand on Genma's shoulder, gripping until the fabric pulled tight. "Let it go," he suggested, casting a cool glare at Kakashi while still speaking to the tokujo. "You should check on Lee."

Genma turned back toward the young man who resembled Gai far too much to be coincidence, some of the fight bleeding out of his posture. Lee watched the exchange without speaking, absorbing every detail. Genma took a shuddering breath, and for a moment, Kakashi thought the tokujo had something to add. But, In the end Genma turned away, shrugging from under Asuma's hand with more force than necessary. Asuma watched Genma go, then shook his head at Kakashi. "Those kids have been through enough. You know that, right?"

"What are you talking about?" Kakashi growled, moderating his tone when someone touched his back firmly enough to be felt through his flak vest. He didn't have to turn to know who the hand belonged to.

Rin slid between Kakashi and Asuma, frowning up at her former classmate. "He doesn't remember," she interjected, as if that made perfect sense.

Asuma's mouth fell open, cigarette tumbling to the ground in a rain of ash. Dark eyes traveled from Rin to Kakashi, as if he couldn't comprehend the words. Kakashi felt a stab of annoyance. What had he forgotten now?

"What do you mean he doesn't remember?" Genma's voice shattered the silence. The tokujo rounded so quickly that Kakashi reflexively reached for a kunai. "How the hell do you forget something like that?"

'It's complicated," Kakashi snipped. Genma's face crimsoned with rage as he reared back for a punch. His fist connected with a meaty thunk.

Minato released Genma's hand, shoving the younger man back several steps. The flash of yellow as the Hokage moved between the two men had been barely discernible, but the anger in his blue eyes was unmistakable. "Enough," he said, looking at each man in turn. "At least  _try_ to remember that you're both jonin sensei."

Huffing, Genma rubbed his hand where it had connected with Minato's open palm rather than Kakashi's jaw. Even so, Minato rebuked Kakashi first. "You're making a bad habit of getting on the wrong side of your friends lately."

Though Kakashi knew that Minato had been attempting to ease the situation, frustration spiked through him. If anyone understood how difficult the loss of memory had been, it should have been the man who knew the most about it. "It's a special talent of mine," Kakashi answered, trying not to sound petulant.

With a low growl in the back of his throat, Genma turned and advanced until Asuma wrapped a restraining arm around his chest. "You killed him-"

Though Genma continued speaking, the words lost their meaning. Kakashi heard them as a faint buzz, indistinct over the roaring of blood in his ears and the pounding of his heart. He tried to question the accusation, but he couldn't remember how to speak. Frantic memories raced through his mind: foot races, mountain climbs, eating contests, missions that had gone sideways, chats about life, stupid boasts that neither could fulfill. The images kept coming until Kakashi had to choose between forcing them down, or risk losing himself again. Rin and Minato visibly tensed at Genma's words, but neither denied the statement.

Kakashi swallowed around the lump in his throat, meeting the eyes of his accuser. "What does you mean?"

A small crowd gathered around the spectacle that he and Genma had made, but Kakashi barely registered their presence. The implication that he'd killed Gai threatened to choke him; it was impossible. Had it been a competition gone wrong? The pair of them had done plenty of dangerous things over the years, but they were shinobi, they'd survived with a new scars and stories to tell. Gai and Kakashi rarely completed missions together since they were jonin sensei, but perhaps a special case required both of their unique skills. With his thoughts scurrying around like nervous children, Kakashi looked to Minato.

"Now isn't the time to discuss it," the Hokage put a end to the topic.

Kakashi had his answer when pity filled the blue eyes that were growing achingly familiar,. Though he'd never been prone to tears, he felt the need forming in his chest. How long had Gai been gone? How had he not realized it immediately? Kakashi had been in this world for weeks, and he'd never thought to check. Gai was an immovable force, a boulder that could never be broken. Secretly, Kakashi had always suspected that the man would outlive him twice over.

_Except here. Here, he's gone._

The realization struck Kakashi as almost humorous. This world had returned the team that he'd lost, and stripped away the parts of his life that he'd taken for granted. Maybe the cosmic scales were tipping Kakashi back toward the misery that he remembered. Who else had been lost without him realizing it?

Kakashi ran through an inventory of relationships as his mind rushed to categorize everything. His students were still alive and well in this world. Tenzo also, though the fact that the man had acted so strangely when Kakashi called out to him the other day made far more sense now. There were others that he wondered about, such as Jiraiya and Tsunade, but Kakashi had no way of knowing if they were still alive. The list of people that Kakashi counted as close friends was alarmingly small.

"There's always a balance," Kakashi murmured to himself, gaze falling on Gai's students again, Lee in particular. Now, Kakashi noticed second headband looped around the boy's wrist. He tore his eyes away before apologies could spill from his lips.

Genma, who had never wanted the responsibility of genin, stepped up in the absence of his former teammate. Gratitude wormed its way through the sorrow threatening to overwhelm Kakashi. He had an inexplicable urge to go to Lee, to absorb some of the unbridled emotion that Gai had undoubtedly instilled, but he stood frozen. A single glance at the boy's burning eyes told him everything that he needed to know. His presence would not be welcomed.

Kakashi realized that Asuma and Genma were staring at him with mouths open. The latter had removed the trademark senbon from his lips before it could join Asuma's still smoldering cigarette on the ground, but his expression was no less incredulous. Kakashi was saved from having to explain when the academy's doors opened, allowing genin to file inside for the first exam. Even so, Kakashi turned away before the men's gazes could pierce any deeper.

A flash of silver hair and sunlight glinting off glasses caught Kakashi's attention, another shinobi shuffling into the building. Though the glimpse had been brief, it tickled something in the back of Kakashi's mind. He took two steps in that direction without thinking, trying to recapture the memory. A hand slid into his, tugging Kakashi out his thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Rin asked softly. It took Kakashi several seconds to remember why she was asking.  _Gai. He's dead. I killed him_.

"Yes," Kakashi lied, automatically throwing his defenses in place. He couldn't surrender to the pain lapping at the edges of his heart. At least, not yet. Later, when he had the luxury of privacy, he would examine the hurt and lose himself in the sorrow. He would delve into the mission archives and find out exactly what had happened, and if it could have been avoided. He would ask the questions about his responsibility in his friend's death, then deal with the consequences. But, he couldn't do any of those things now.

Minato had pulled Genma and Asuma aside, and the men must have been satisfied with the Hokage's explanation because after an awkward glance in Kakashi's direction, they turned away. Only a few people remained in the yard, most had moved elsewhere to wait for news of the exam. Kakashi should have been worried about his team, but he knew that their performance was out of his hands. Sakura's intelligence, Sasuke's natural talent, and Naruto's innate stubbornness should be enough to guide them through the challenges ahead.

"I've spoken with Inoichi," Minato interrupted the silence, approaching Kakashi and Rin. The man pitched his voice low enough that it wouldn't carry beyond their small group. "He has selected several discrete members of the interrogation division to assist him. If you feel up to it, we can try to get some answers tonight."

Kakashi tensed, then forced himself to relax. He wasn't physically exhausted or emotionally spent this time; he wouldn't have the same type of reaction that had ended their session the other night. Konoha needed the memories that he'd forgotten. Rin squeezed Kakashi's hand without speaking, a reassuring presence he'd never known that he needed.

"It will be a couple of hours before we know the results of the first exam." Minato glanced at the Academy, worry creasing his brow. Then, he shook his head. "Once that is finished, we can go to Inoichi together."

Kakashi exhaled. The prospect of knowing why the chunin exams made him uneasy both terrified and excited him.

Sensing Kakashi's nervousness, Rin tugged at his arm. "Why don't we get lunch while we wait?" They had left the apartment early when Rin insisted that Kakashi needed to encourage his pupils before the exam. While he hadn't known what to say, Kakashi recognized that his students were strong. That would have to be enough.

Shoving his worries away, Kakashi followed his wife from the academy. Konoha's restaurants were filled by the influx of spectators from the chunin exams, but Rin led him through the warren of streets to a shop that he'd never visited before. Half a dozen empty tables filled the small space, and even fewer options littered the menu. Kakashi didn't mind; the chance to clear his head was exactly what he needed.

Rin gushed about a particular rice and vegetable concoction, then ordered it for both of them. She swore that they  _needed_ , more than wanted, the dish. Kakashi nodded, wisely holding his tongue about pregnancy cravings. The conversation drifted easily between topics for several minutes before Rin asked the question that Kakashi knew had been lingering in the back of her mind since the altercation with Genma. He'd been incapable of ignoring it himself.

"You don't remember Gai's death?" Rin spoke softly, hardly more than a whisper, asd the world tipped around Kakashi and forced him to deal with things that he'd rather ignore.

Shaking his head, Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "In my memories, he's alive and well, a jonin sensei with a strong team training beneath him. Gai is full of energy, of  _life_." Kakashi's mind stuck on the image of his self proclaimed rival, easy smile flashing as it so often did. He couldn't imagine a world where that didn't exist. "Do you know what happened?"

"You were on a mission that went badly," Rin hedged, looking away from Kakashi's eyes like she didn't want to say more. His chest twisted uncomfortably. "You never wanted to talk about it afterwards. You didn't kill him though, no matter what Genma believes. I know you'd do everything in your power to save his life."

Rin meant to ease the ache that the knowledge of Gai's death had caused, and Kakashi inclined his head gratefully. The shock was too fresh to be soothed so easily, but he could ignore it temporarily, for her sake. Kakashi watched his wife play with a napkin, twisting the paper between her fingers as if they couldn't stand to be still. He reached across the table and placed his hand over Rin's. Brown eyes flashed up, and he forced himself to smile. "I'm okay, really. Stop worrying."

Kakashi couldn't tell if Rin believed him or not, but their talk soon returned to the safer topics of the chunin exams and the future. Ironic that such a frightening concept could be ordinary now. Thankfully, the arrival of their food rescued Kakashi from having to comment further. Rin inhaled audibly and tore open her chopsticks, almost before thanking the man that brought the bowls over. Kakashi followed more slowly, breathing in the steamy scent before pushing some of the rice around. He didn't have much of an appetite despite the delicious meal in front of him.

Voices raised in frustration caught Kakashi's attention before he could take the first bite. "I'm Anbu, you can't make me-" noises of a scuffle further shattered the quiet. "-Ow! I'm not going to apologize-ah! Let go before you break my fingers."

"You  _are_ going to apologize," Kushina answered, forced calm radiating through her voice, "or you won't need your fingers for making hand signs. I'll have you relegated to D-rank missions. Do you want to go back to chasing cats?"

Obito harrumphed. "You're not the Hokage. You don't have the power to make that decision."

Kushina's laughter rang almost as sharp as her words. "I sleep with him, do you really think that counts for nothing?"

"That's an abuse of power." Another pained grunt cut off the rest of Obito's complaint. Kakashi raised one eyebrow toward the commotion, and Rin burst into laughter.

Moments later, Obito appeared in the doorway of the restaurant, rubbing one ear. Though Kakashi had gotten used to the idea of his former teammate being alive, seeing him cutting through the crowd still made his chest ache.

"Rin." Obito approached their table, offering a forced smile that tugged at his scars. "Could I speak to Kakashi for a moment, alone?"

When Rin started to move, Kakashi placed his fingers along the inside of her wrist. "Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of my wife." The muscles around Obito's eye twitched.

"Kushina wants me to apologize," Obito began. The woman in question huffed from her place on the opposite side of the restaurant, loudly enough that Obito winced and tried again. "What I mean to say is, I'm sorry."

Kakashi didn't speak, and Rin frowned between the two men. "Sorry for what, exactly?"

For a moment, Kakashi considered letting Obito fumble through an explanation of the damage he'd inflicted. While he knew that he shouldn't savor the panic in the man's eye, he couldn't help himself. Obito must have assumed that someone had given Rin the details of their fight, but the suspicious curiosity on her face left the Uchiha backtracking and stammering.

"Obito distracted me during the spar with Sasuke," Kakashi interjected before the man could put his foot in his mouth. "That's how he landed the lucky hit."

If Obito found Kakashi's confession surprising, the Uchiha didn't let on. He latched onto the lie desperately. "I didn't think you would drop your defenses that easily."

_Truth,_ Kakashi decided.

Obito couldn't have known that Kakashi wouldn't fight back when he threw that first punch. His coerced apology was real enough, Kakashi supposed. If Obito had any question about whether or not he'd been in the wrong, undoubtedly, Kushina and Minato had made it abundantly clear.

Even so, Kakashi felt a stab of annoyance. In his memory, it had always been Obito and Rin. The pair had been friends before being placed on a team with Kakashi. And, if Rin had been a little awed by Kakashi at the time, so were half of the girls in their class. He had never bothered with their fickle emotions. Kakashi had noticed Rin only as someone that he had to work with, until Obito's death. Then, he had taken on the role of her protector, whether she wanted it or not. Until he killed her.

In those dark days after that failed rescue, Kakashi had realized that he cared for Rin as more than a friend. Or, at least, he wanted to know if there could have been a future between them. He'd recalled those rare moments of joy, so few and far between during the war, when she'd burst into laughter and wrap him in a hug no matter how much he tried to pull away. Or, those quiet nights when he stood watch, uncomfortably aware of her sleeping form only a few feet away. It had taken years for Kakashi to admit what those feelings were. Now that he had a second chance, he didn't intend to let it slip through his fingers, even for Obito.

"A genin had an attack powerful enough to put a jonin in the hospital?" Rin asked, looking between Kakashi and Obito with narrowed eyes.

"He's an Uchiha," Obito offered, as if that was explanation enough. "You know how Kakashi tells them to go all out in training."

Though Kakashi couldn't say why he did it, he inclined his head in agreement. He did push his students to give everything, even in practice spars. Otherwise, they wouldn't be used to it during a real battle. Lifting his shoulders in a shrug, Kakashi met Obito's gaze to signal that he was willing to put things behind them. "It wasn't anything that I couldn't handle."

A sharp snort from the other side of the room revealed Kushina's continued presence, but the woman didn't interrupt them. If she knew all the details, and Kakashi had no doubt that she did, Kushina must have seen the sense in hiding it from Rin. He held no illusions that his wife would be furious at Obito if she learned the true nature of their argument, or the extent of the damage that he'd inflicted. Forcing Rin to choose between her best friend and her husband would only make things more difficult. It was better for everyone if they moved on.

"Do you want something to eat?" Kakashi asked, determined to put the incident behind them.

Obito's mouth fell open in surprise at the invitation, but Rin answered first. "Has he ever refused a free meal?"

Chuckling, Obito slid into the chair that Rin pushed out for him. He glanced at Kakashi, expression unreadable, as she ordered another bowl of food. Kakashi knew that things weren't finished between himself and Obito, but he understood the man's protectiveness over Rin, and his jealousy.

"So, when you aren't trying to kill my husband, what have you been up to?" Rin teased, settling back in her seat.

Obito blushed, a reaction not lost on Kakashi, and mumbled about Anbu missions and confidentiality. Eventually, their strained conversation gave way to banter and smiles, even if not all were completely authentic. It was a start.

* * *

After an extended lunch, Obito begged off spending time with Kakashi and Rin under the guise of needing to train. While it might have been more than ten years since they were on a team together, Kakashi could still read Obito like a book. Their fight, and the resulting apology, had made the man uncomfortable, leaving him to try and sort out his place in their lives. Kakashi didn't blame him; he was doing the same.

With an afternoon of freedom ahead of him, Kakashi traded one set of complex emotions for another. He and Rin walked through the village arm in arm without a specific destination in mind. They carried on as any other couple did, talking about the weather or a dozen other small things as they came up. She told him about other restaurants and shops that were less frequented, and he smiled and nodded at all the appropriate places. Rin stopped at one such vendor to buy flowers, pale yellow and white, that the shopkeeper meticulously wrapped in brown paper. When Kakashi raised a questioning eyebrow at them, Rin smiled and continued walking.

The flow of people eventually led them toward the cemetery, or perhaps it was the familiar path for Kakashi's feet. At least here, the noise of the crowd had disappeared, replaced by the soft rustle of wind in the trees. Rin pulled free of Kakashi to approach the solemn markers. Then, to his astonishment, she turned away from the main rows toward the smaller plot on the side.

Rin knelt awkwardly by Sakumo's grave and cleared away the weeds as carefully as Kakashi had ever done before placing the flowers over it. When Kakashi couldn't speak around the lump in his throat, she'd whispered quiet words for both of them.

Before Kakashi realized it, the sun had melted below the horizon. He could tell that Rin had grown tired, so he led her back to their apartment. Once there, they received the news that Team Seven had passed the first exam. There was hardly time for celebration. The genin who had succeeded were being sent into the Forest of Death where their numbers would be winnowed down over the next few days.

Kakashi tried not to worry about his students. He remembered them surviving until the third exam in his time line, and he had no reason to assume they would do any differently here. In fact, the influence of Naruto's parents had made him stronger, much as Itachi and Shisui had done for Sasuke. Additionally, Rin had nurtured Sakura as a medic. His team had as much chance of survival as anyone.

While there was nothing else that Kakashi could do for his students, he had another duty to take care of, the one to his village. "Why don't you take a bath then get some sleep? I'll probably be late getting home," Kakashi encouraged as he checked the lengthening shadows outside.

Rin's lips quirked upward. "Why don't you hurry, then you can join me in the bath?"

Kakashi flustered through some excuse, he couldn't even remember what, then took his leave. His face heated as he walked. Even though the exchange had taken place fifteen minutes ago, thinking of the playful lilt in Rin's voice stirred a still foreign desire. Kakashi had to remind himself that he was a married man, more or less.

Shaking his head to clear the thoughts that he most certainly didn't need Inoichi reading, Kakashi made his way toward the interrogation headquarters. They had waited until dark because it was easier to avoid unfortunate questions if no one raised them in the first place. Fewer witnesses on the streets naturally led to a more covert meeting.

As Kakashi approached, Minato pushed away from the shadows near the door. The blond studied Kakashi's face for a moment before clapping his shoulder. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Kakashi answered with a shrug.

Rather than going to the interrogation rooms that they'd used last time, Minato led Kakashi toward the largest, the one in the back of the building. Kakashi had only visited this room once, but he remembered the skin crawling feeling the experience had produced. The memory of watching an enemy nin strapped into a machine while multiple shinobi pried information from his mind made him shudder. Kakashi swallowed the bile in the back of his throat and reminded himself that he was among friends.

Before they entered, Minato caught Kakashi's arm and held out a scroll. "I debated whether or not to give you this, but I think you deserve to know. My only condition is that you wait to read it until after we've met with Inoichi so your thoughts aren't muddled."

Nodding, Kakashi tucked the mission scroll into the pouch on his hip. His hand itched to open the report that held the answers to what happened to Gai, but as usual, Minato was right. Anything that he read now would only agitate his thoughts, and he needed them to be as clear as possible. Taking a deep breath, Kakashi stepped into the room.

Inoichi stood with four members of the interrogation unit, whispering in tones too soft to be heard. Kakashi didn't recognize any of the other shinobi, but he noted that the medic who had been present on the first night stood unobtrusively in the corner. Hopefully, only caution necessitated his presence.

Kakashi turned his gaze on the machine that would encase him from toes to chin. It stood open, a single chair waiting between its jaws. Inoichi had tread carefully through Kakashi's memories, but would the men that he'd chosen to help do the same tonight?  _It's too late to turn back now_ , Kakashi chided his weakness and bowed his head in greeting.

Inoichi nodded in return. "Hatake-san, if you could sit there," he pointed toward the chair. "We'll try to get this over with as quickly as possible. Like last time, I'll do my best to avoid anything that isn't pertinent to the chunin exams."

Kakashi glanced at Minato for a moment before sitting in the chair. He resisted flinching when the edges of the apparatus closed around him. At Inoichi's nod, the interrogation unit moved to specified locations around the machine that would amplify the speed of extraction. Though it was almost impossible to feel chakra humming through the air, chillbumps rose on Kakashi's arms anyway.

Inoichi stood in front of Kakashi, lips drawn into a thin line of concentration. "Are you ready?" While the words weren't unkind, Kakashi could sense the professional distance that the man had put between them.

At Kakashi's nod, Inoichi placed a hand on his head. The room disappeared, images flashing through Kakashi's mind too quickly to grasp ahold of. Sparks of color belonged to specific people, he knew that somehow, but he couldn't differentiate which belonged to whom. Shinobi disappeared into a shadow that spread over them like a tidal wave. Red sprayed across Kakashi's vision, but he couldn't tell if the blood belonged to him or someone else. Golden eyes glinted in the darkness.

Sudden panic stole Kakashi's breath, driving him to his knees as the chittering of birds filled the air. A rasengan spun inches from his chest. A girl screamed, and Kakashi almost recognized the voice. Water poured from a tank while Jiraiya looked on disapprovingly. Ninja wire wrapped Sasuke, Kakashi holding it tight. Sakura cried in front of the gates of Konoha. Ozone and chakra filled the air, thick enough to taste as it spilled through the rain.

The images blurred into a swirl of colorful emotion, pressing down on Kakashi's lungs. He drowned under its weight as they dragged him deeper into the whirlpool below. His chest burned, begging for release. It was too much; he couldn't stand another moment. Then, as suddenly as it began, the pressure eased, and air flowed back in.

Kakashi gasped and opened his eyes. "You're done?" They couldn't have possibly gleaned enough information. He looked from Inoichi to the shinobi scattered around him in confusion. Sweat dappled the foreheads that he could see, and two of the men were stretching and shaking out their arms as if exhausted.

"For tonight, yes," Inoichi answered, indicating that the latches on the machine should be undone. "You probably didn't feel it, but nearly an hour has passed."

The members of the interrogation unit and the medic filed out without needing to be asked. Minato stood by the door with arms crossed over his chest, expression unreadable. Kakashi moved to relieve some of the nervous tension in his body, trying to reconcile the idea that what had felt like minutes had actually been an hour.

Once they were alone, Kakashi turned toward Inoichi. "Well?" The man glanced at Minato for permission before speaking.

"The images were much the same. The stronger memories, such as deaths, make it more difficult to reach the ones we're looking for, and your remembrance of the chunin exam is incomplete," Inoichi paused, searching for a better word. "Shadowed, one might say. While they are there, it's like wading through ink to get to them. The images are too murky."

To Kakashi's surprise, Inoichi chuckled. "Your mind is fascinating, Hatake-san. My clan would love to study how you veil so many of your emotions and memories, even from yourself. I've never experienced such a challenge in extracting information."

Kakashi frowned, unsure whether Inoichi meant the statement for praise or rebuke. Minato coughed softly into his hand and Kakashi ignored it. Another hour of his life wasted, memories rifled through like the scraps of a scroll, and they were exactly where they started.

"That's not to say that it was completely pointless," Inoichi interjected, brushing over his pants to remove imaginary dirt. "One memory  _did_  stand out from the chunin exams, fear colored it enough to make it noticeable. Fear that bordered on terror."

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably at the mention of those emotions in himself. A shinobi should be above such things, especially a jonin level shinobi. He opened his mouth to say as much, but Minato spoke first. "What was the memory?"

"More of a whom, than a what," Inoichi hedged, turning toward the Minato raised an eyebrow curiously, he continued. "Kakashi remembers Orochimaru being inside Konoha during the chunin exams."

Kakashi frowned. He didn't remember seeing Orochimaru at the chunin exams, but he knew the name well enough. The sannin was a rogue ninja, one of the most dangerous in the bingo book. Kakashi had a vague memory of meeting the man as Anbu-something skittered through the back of his mind.

"What about Jiraiya-sama? Isn't he tracking Orochimaru?" The disconnected fragment surfaced through the murk. Kakashi couldn't quite fit the images together, but he could almost remember a whispered conversation, something about the Akatsuki.

Inoichi's brow furrowed as he turned toward the jonin, but Minato didn't mask his surprise quite as smoothly. The Hokage's blue eyes widened as he rounded on Kakashi. "How do you know about that?"

The answer was simple enough to be laughable. While Kakashi had realized that his life had changed drastically, he hadn't considered the amount of inside information he held. Kakashi could reveal dozens of Anbu secrets, details from missions that he'd been on, and information that he should have had no way of knowing. But, those paled in comparison to the conversation he could almost recall. "Jiraiya had intelligence that Orochimaru was planning an attack on Konoha during the exams."

"You're just remembering that now?" Inoichi burst out, pale face blanching further. It took Kakashi a moment to understand: Inoichi's daughter was competing in the exams as well. The idea that a shinobi of such prowess could pose an additional danger to her must have been terrifying.

If Minato felt the same, he didn't reveal it. He looked between the two of them without any discernible emotion, which Kakashi knew was a bad sign. "Can you remember anything else?"

Kakashi wracked his mind, grasping at the memory. "Jiraiya had searched for him, but information was sketchy beyond the fact that he'd joined the Akatsuki. He believed that Orochimaru posed a significant threat to Konoha during the exam."

While those few details fell into place, Kakashi couldn't remember anything beyond them. He knew that there was something else, but he couldn't dredge it to surface. Minato clapped a hand on Inoichi's shoulder. "You know that we have security in place for the exams. Everything will be fine." When the man nodded, Minato continued. "Let's call it a night. In a day or two, maybe something will break loose for Kakashi, or we can try again."

"As you command, Hokage-sama." Inoichi's tone revealed his worry, but if Minato noticed, he chose not to comment on it. Kakashi wished that he could remember something that might prevent putting the genin into any more danger. Inoichi shook himself. "You two go ahead, I'll get everything closed up down here."

With a final nod, Minato led Kakashi through the building in silence. The eerie hallways echoed with their footsteps until the street swallowed the sound. Minato paused outside the door and met Kakashi's eyes. "I know about Orochimaru. Jiraiya has been tracking him for months, but there is no credible evidence to suggest that he's coming to Konoha, quite the contrary actually."

Kakashi bit his lip, worry worming between his shoulder blades like an itch he couldn't quite reach. "And if your intelligence is wrong?"

"It isn't." Minato raised a hand to halt the objections on Kakashi's lips. "And even if it were, I've tightened security around the village and increased the Anbu presence. It will be fine."

Kakashi noted the worry in the blue eyes that glanced away from his. Minato's job was to be strong for his people, but things felt a long way away from fine.


	14. Growing Responsibilities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings/Summary: Minato introspection, suggestive moments, some angst, lots of fluff, pregnancy stuff  
> Author's Note: This chapter feels a bit slower than I'd like, but at this point it's necessary. A huge thanks to Tabjoy and Cinlat for making this much better through beta reading.

 

After watching Kakashi disappear down the darkened street, Minato turned toward his office rather than home. Despite presenting a calm facade to Inoichi and his former student, the news that Orochimaru might be planning an attack on the village struck a nerve. The rogue ninja had posed several serious threats since Minato became Hokage, but he'd never made a direct move against Konoha. Even so, Minato kept a close eye on the sannin's movements.

The weight of the near silent village dragged at Minato's shoulders as he wandered through it. Rather than traveling through the Hokage complex, Minato teleported straight into his office. Kushina would already be annoyed that he'd been out later than intended, so there was no reason to waste time with walking.

Minato's sandals had barely brushed the wooden floorboards when the air behind him shifted. He turned, hand dropping to his weapons pouch as a cat-masked Anbu touched the katana slanting over one shoulder. The lean form prepared to move in any direction, muscles loose, weight on the balls of his feet as he watched Minato.

"Hokage-sama?" The shadow queried, closing a hand around his sword.

Minato spared a glance for the guard, taking in the red and green streaks that circled the eyes, then released his kunai. "At ease, Cat" he responded, flicking on the lights.

Though Minato set seals on the sensitive information in his office, it wasn't uncommon for one of his Anbu to spend the night patrolling. Tenzo had either drawn that duty, or he'd been the one tasked with trailing Minato in case of an attack When Minato had first become Hokage, the protection had irked him. But, he'd become used to their presence over the years, even found it reassuring.

As Minato ruffled through the papers on the desk, Tenzo crossed his arms. The black fabric covering them whispered against the armor protecting his torso. Pushing another report out of the way, Minato glanced at the Anbu from the corner of his eye. Tenzo stood motionless, eyes trained on the wall while managing to observe every detail of the room. The man had been a unique addition to the black ops force, and not only because of his ability to use mokuton release.

Though the details were murky, Tenzo had been kidnapped from his home as a child and used in Orochimaru's experiments. Years of exposure to kami only knew what had erased much of the man's early memory; he couldn't recall his family or where he'd come from. The sadistic toxins had either awakened the wood release in Tenzo's genes, or mutated his body to use it.

Minato supposed that he would never know which theory was the truth. Tenzo had been a teen when Anbu raided the hideout where Orochimaru had sequestered the boy. He had been left for dead, requiring months in the hospital to regain his strength. Except, there'd been no normal life for Tenzo to return to once his rehabilitation was complete. His singular ability to use wood release meant that the man could never be free. He would never be able to live a life away from the watchful eyes of those same Anbu who had rescued him. The mokuton would function as a beacon to enemy villages and rogue ninja alike. Konoha couldn't risk that type of exposure.

Ironically, the answer about what to do with Tenzo had come through Obito. The newly returned prodigal had been part of the team that liberated the laboratory, and he'd taken an interest in Tenzo. When Minato had stopped in to check on the boy, Obito was an ever present shadow. The correlation had been easy enough to draw, even without Obito's mumbled affirmation about understanding the life of an outcast. Minato had seen no harm in letting Tenzo follow Obito into Anbu. Over the years, the pair had become a cohesive unit, one of the best in Konoha.

Refocusing on the task at hand, Minato nodded to his guard. "You can return to your duties. I don't need protection here." Though the cat mask dipped into a respectful bow, he knew that Tenzo wouldn't be far away. Anbu never were.

Ignoring the presence as studiously as he did every day, Minato sank into his chair and pulled open a drawer. Scraps of documents filled the space, but he pushed them out of the way and reached for the false bottom. Minato deftly unwove the jutsu used to seal the panel in place. Hiruzen had tried to convince him that locks were just as effective, but Minato knew far too many shinobi who could pick any apparatus to trust something so flimsy.

Scrolls, mission reports, notes, and Minato's personal research filled the compartment almost to overflowing. A half finished theory sparked by one of Naruto's imaginary games as a child nestled next to a comprehensive report detailing Obito's rescue. Minato pushed them both out of the way, reaching for a leather-bound notebook. Water and singe marks marred the cover, but the pages inside were undamaged. Jiraiya's familiar handwriting spidered across them in tiny, meticulous lines.

When Orochimaru fled Konoha, Jiraiya had gone after him. Minato wasn't sure whether the man had acted out of guilt for not putting an end to his former team mate's atrocities sooner, or hope that Orochimaru might mend his way. In the end, it didn't matter as long as the village had some inkling of what the snake was up to.

Jiraiya would periodically check in with Minato and leave his latest notes for safekeeping. Almost a month had passed since the last time his mentor had been in Konoha. Jiraiya dropped off the notebook, then departed like a phantom. The sannin rarely stayed long enough to greet Naruto and Kushina.

Shaking his head, Minato thumbed to the most recent entry:  _Suspected affiliations in the Land of Rice Paddies. Motivation unknown, but it seems likely he is there to conduct research away from Konoha's watchful eye._

Minato glanced at the space that Tenzo had occupied only moments before.  _Research_  was terming Orochimaru's human experiments lightly. The thought that a former Konoha would treat human life so casually turned Minato's stomach. Even though Orochimaru no longer wore the leaf headband, and his crimes had been decried dozens of times, nothing could erase the fact that he'd been one of Konoha's legendary sannin.

Though no one could have predicted the route that Orochimaru's life had taken, Minato knew that both Hiruzen and Jiraiya took it as a personal failure. Hiruzen had been the first shinobi on scene during the final disagreement that drove Orochimaru from the village. He'd frozen, letting indecision or mercy to stay his hand while Orochimaru escaped. Four konoha shinobi lives were lost in the altercation.

Minato wondered if Tsunade shared their guilt, but the woman had left the village after the wars and never looked back. While Konoha would have been safer with its sannin in place, Minato didn't begrudge Tsunade or Jiraiya the freedom to seek a different path. Both sannin had seen enough death. Minato could only hope that war could be avoided during Naruto's lifetime at least.

After running his fingers over the words, Minato snapped the notebook shut with a sigh. The Land of Rice Paddies was close enough to warrant additional security after what Inoichi's examination had revealed in Kakashi's memory. Minato needed more information. But, for now, the only thing that he could do was reaffirm the security that he'd already put in place and hope it was enough

Finger hovering over the seal that would summon Obito, the Hokage paused. Even though Minato had spoken with his former student, the Anbu's lack of self-control still bothered him. Confining Obito to Konoha might not have been enough to drive the point home. Determined to underscore his threat, Minato called for Tenzo instead.

The Anbu appeared seconds later, eyes sweeping the room through the shadowed holes of his mask. "Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"I need copies of the Anbu guard rotation for the next month, as well as their patrol routes." If Tenzo found the request strange, he didn't question it. The man produced a map of the village from one of his pouches and unrolled it on the desk. Minato raised an eyebrow. "You've memorized it?"

"Yes," Tenzo answered, shifting the map so that it fell into a pool of lamp light.

Minato chuckled under his breath. Of course Tenzo had memorized the roster; that type of dedication fit him perfectly. The man was second in command to Obito. While they didn't necessarily run the black ops, they were one of the most successful and well respected teams within its ranks. The task of determining the village guard rotation had fallen to Obito, and by extension Tenzo, who had a far better mind for such strategic matters.

"Myself and Obito will be your personal detail, in additional to your normal guards," Tenzo began. That didn't surprise Minato, they were his constant shadow. The man went on, detailing the strengths of each team and why they had been selected for those patrols. Minato nodded in time, breathing a silent sigh of relief that the village had such capable Anbu watching over it.

* * *

Exhaustion dragged at Kakashi's body as he sagged against the door to his apartment. He'd given up trying to find where he fit in this new world, the highs and lows of the day making it easier to simply exist. Part of him wanted to talk to Rin, feel her comfort and take advantage of her ability to make sense of everything. The more familiar impulse was to curl in on himself and ignore it all.

Darkness predominated the apartment when Kakashi entered. The man was halfway to his bedroom before he realized why the silence felt out of place. He no longer lived alone. The absence of a greeting could only mean that Rin had fallen asleep. Kakashi eased open the bedroom door, feeling like an intruder. The moment passed when his eyes fell on Rin, moonlight gilding the soft curves half-hidden beneath the sheet. The blankets laid in a rumpled heap at the foot of their bed.

Kakashi took three steps toward Rin before pulling himself to a stop. She needed rest, and he didn't know how to explain the storm inside of him anyway. Despite the physical and mental fatigue, Kakashi knew that his mind wouldn't settle enough to let him sleep. Deciding that a hot shower would ease the tension coursing through his body, he headed for the bathroom.

After turning on the water, Kakashi shrugged out of his flak vest. The weight slid easily from his shoulders. While placing his weapon pouches on the counter, Kakashi's fingers brushed over an unfamiliar cylindrical shape. He pulled out the mission scroll that Minato had given him, rolling it around on his palm. Once he opened it, there was no going back. For better or worse, Kakashi would have his answer.

The realization of Gai's death hit Kakashi a second time. Nausea pulsed through his stomach, and his knees cracked against the floor before he realized that they'd crumpled. He had spent the entire day forcing back the pain, compartmentalizing it so that he could continue functioning. Now, with those barriers removed, Kakashi paid the price of holding it at bay. A sob rose in his throat, and he pressed a fist against his mouth to stifle it.

"Kakashi?" Rin called from the other side of the door. "Everything okay?"

Startling, Kakashi scrubbed at the unfamiliar burn in his eyes. He had begun pushing himself from the floor when Rin entered. She glanced at him, then to the running water, eyes softening. "What happened?"

The lie that it was nothing danced on Kakashi's tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. "It's complicated," he offered, finding his feet again. Knowing that Rin wouldn't be content with such a vague statement, he continued. "Inoichi found a memory of Orochimaru being in the village during the chunin exams, but Minato assures me that it's impossible."

"I'm sure he knows what he's talking about," Rin soothed, brushing her fingers through Kakashi's hair. When he didn't relax, she nudged his shoulder. "There's something else bothering you. What is it?"

Rather than answering, Kakashi reached for his weapons pouch to retrieve the innocuous missions report that would change everything. Genma's words echoed like thunder as he fingered the edge of the paper.  _You killed him_.

"What's that?" Rin took the scroll from Kakashi's hand, turning it over until she arrived at the rank symbol. It took her only moments to connect the dots, then her eyes hardened. "Where did you get this?"

"Minato gave it to me," Kakashi answered, feeling oddly like a little boy who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "It's the details of the mission with Gai."

Rin hummed noncommittally, but Kakashi could almost feel the gentleness radiating toward him. She closed her hand around the scroll. "Reading this won't change anything."

Kakashi shifted, raising his shoulders in a shrug. The soft spray of water from the shower had heated the room until a single bead of sweat trickled down his cheek. He focused on that, taking the moment to gather his thoughts. "I have to know what happened. Maybe it will help me remember something."

"Is this some twisted way of punishing yourself for what happened?" Rin always had known Kakashi better than he would have liked. When he didn't answer, she sighed. "Can't it wait until tomorrow at least? It's been a long day."

Rin didn't didn't deny Kakashi access to the scroll, but she didn't offer to return it either. Kakashi knew that if he reached for it, Rin would surrender. Their relationship was one of mutual respect, even if she didn't agree with every decision. His courage wavered. Did he really want to know what he'd done? What if he had made a mistake? What if his negligence had killed one of his closest friends?

Kakashi wasn't a fool. Though he hadn't studied the mind beyond what effect genjutsu had on it, he knew that traumatic events could cause a mental break. What if this mission had caused his memory loss? Would reading the details catapult him back to the real world? Of course, that meant that Gai wasn't dead, though.  _And, it means that none of this is real_..

Fingers brushed Kakashi's cheek with a warmth that felt very much real. Exhaling, he glanced at Rin. "Give it a day or two," she encouraged. "If you still want to read it, we'll do it together."

"It might trigger a memory," Kakashi countered, voice trembling over the words. He shook his head to clear away the doubt burning through him. If he could do anything to save the village, it was worth the cost to himself, whatever it was.

Rin must have seen the indecision in Kakashi's eyes. She tucked the scroll into a pocket on the robe that she wore. "It might, but it would also trigger the same memory tomorrow. You have to take care of yourself, too." Rin caught his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Why don't you come to bed?"

Finally, something Kakashi could answer. "Because I stink."

Rin's laughter broke the tension, and Kakashi managed a smile for her sake. He hated to admit it, but she was right. Whatever that scroll contained, as much as he wanted to know, it could wait until the morning. Slipping his arms around Rin, Kakashi pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I won't be long," he promised.

Rin glanced at the shower, then turned back to Kakashi with a playful grin. Her hand brushed against his stomach, managing to slip beneath his shirt when he was distracted by the heat in her eyes. Delicate fingers grazed hard muscle, causing Kakashi's abs to tense in response. His breath stuttered in his throat as Rin pulled away with a teasing chuckle. "Don't keep me waiting."

Kakashi was still trying to form a response when the door clicked shut. He glanced down, almost certain that he'd see trails of fire where Rin's fingers had been. For three erratic heartbeats, he considered going after her and-and what? Kakashi's mind stalled before going any further. He might be married to Rin, and the father of her child, but Kakashi didn't remember that life.

Uncertainty swirled through Kakashi. He understood battle: the dance of dodging blade and jutsu, shifting to avoid a fatal strike while getting inside his opponents reach, then ending the fight as quickly as possible. From his earliest memories, Kakashi had been trained for death. And, he was good at it. He'd lost count of the enemy shinobi that he'd killed, during the war and his time in Anbu; their blood stained his hands.  _So had Obito's and Rin._

Death was a concept that Kakashi understood; love was less so. There had been other women, few and far between, but he barely remembered any of them. There were times during Anbu when only the solace of another person could ease the ache in Kakashi's chest. Those indiscretions had lasted one night, usually after several drinks. Love never entered the equation. They were the closest that Kakashi had ever come to a relationship, and he purposefully chose someone from outside the village to avoid complications.

Rin was the complication Kakashi had tried to avoid, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to care. In the back of his mind, a tiny voice screamed that this wasn't real, but he forced it to silence. Rin  _was_ real, more real than anything else had ever been. The whisper came again, but it was so faint that it no longer mattered. As badly as Kakashi wanted to hold onto his defenses, Rin cut through like they were nonexistent. As fast as Kakashi threw up walls, she ripped them down. He  _wanted_  to go to her.

Shaking his head, Kakashi peeled off his soiled clothing. A shower wouldn't take that long, and it would help cool the heat twisting through him. He could use the time to collect his thoughts, preventing himself from doing something that he might regret in the morning. With that thought firmly in mind, Kakashi lingered until the water turned cold against his skin. When he stepped onto the mat, he scanned the counter only to realize that he hadn't brought fresh clothes to change into. He'd never had to think about such things when he lived alone.

Kakashi considered his predicament. He could wear his dirty clothes just long enough to find something clean, but the idea of putting on the sweat soaked garments made his skin crawl. Another option was to sneak out of the bathroom to get boxers from the dresser before Rin noticed him. The latter was more challenging, but nothing that Kakashi couldn't handle. He was a renown Anbu, listed in the bingo book of every shinobi nation. He could slip across his own bedroom undetected, no problem.

Once he'd decided on a course of action, Kakashi moved closer to the door. He paused, listening with bated breath to the sounds on the opposite side of it, or the lack thereof. After several heartbeats, Kakashi eased the door open and glanced around the moonlit coated bedroom. Rin lay on the bed, unmoving. He padded toward the dresser on tiptoes, soaking in the silence. Once he reached it, Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief and reached for a pair of boxers.

"You could come to bed like that; it makes my job easier." Kakashi didn't startle at the sound of Rin's voice. Shinobi didn't jump at unexpected noises. He moved instinctively away from a perceived danger, clutching the scrap of thin, black fabric like a shield.

Face burning crimson, Kakashi struggled into the boxers with as much grace as he could manage. "I thought you were asleep."

"That was obvious from the sneaking around," Rin laughed, pushing herself onto one elbow. "If you didn't want to show off your goods, why didn't you wear a towel?"

The playful lilt in Rin's voice made Kakashi wonder if a person could die of embarrassment. Under normal circumstances, he showered, dried off, then walked into his room to get dressed. The idea of wrapping a wet towel around himself hadn't crossed his mind. Somehow, Rin muddled Kakashi's thoughts without trying.

Determined to hide his embarrassment, and give Rin a taste of her own medicine, Kakashi affected a grin. He put one hand on his hip and pulled his shoulders back in a way that allowed moonlight to accentuate the muscles of his chest and stomach. "Complaining?"

"Only if you don't come to bed," Rin answered, not missing a beat.

A flush covered Kakashi's cheeks, one that he hoped that the darkness hid. When he couldn't think of an appropriate response, Kakashi crossed the room, swallowing the nervousness that leapt into his throat. This wasn't the first time that he'd shared the bed with Rin, not by a long shot. And, technically, he  _had_  clothes on. Tugging the covers down, he slipped in beside her.

Almost immediately, Rin snuggled closer to Kakashi's side and pillowed her head on his chest. Her burgeoning stomach pressed flush against him, an ever present reminder, as her idle fingers traced across his bare skin. Kakashi slid an arm around Rin's shoulders to rub her back through the oversized t-shirt that she wore. Despite the heat of her earlier words, Rin's breathing leveled into the steady cadence of sleep within minutes. Kakashi closed his eyes, but found sleep much more elusive.

* * *

Kakashi slitted one eye open to stare at the familiar ceiling of his bedroom. Each day, he expected to find that whatever dream he'd been living in had evaporated like morning mist. But, with the rising of each new sun, it continued. While Rin wasn't in bed beside him, the warm, vanilla scent of her filled Kakashi's nostrils. Her presence lingered on the rumpled pillow, the t-shirt folded neatly at the foot of the bed, and the assorted bottles scattered across Kakashi's dresser.

Glancing at the window, Kakashi pushed himself into a sitting position. It couldn't be more than an hour or two past sunrise based on the light streaming into the room. While Rin had always been an early riser, he'd thought that pregnancy would have made her relax that habit somewhat. Rest was important; at least, he thought it was. Kakashi wasn't up to date on the intricate needs of growing a living person. Not beyond the basics of conception, anyway.

Kakashi threw off the blankets and stood, stretching stiff muscles. While Rin wasn't in bed any longer, she couldn't have gone far in their small apartment. Rather than risk repeating the embarrassment of the previous night, Kakashi opened their dresser and lifted out a pair of jonin blues. After tugging on the soft fabric, he walked toward the living room as quietly as his feet would take him.

Light filtered through the window, casting a golden halo around Rin. The woman's eyes were shut and small hands pressed together in front of her heart as she inhaled, sweeping her arms overhead. A slight bend formed in Rin's back, making her rounded stomach more prominent, then she returned to her original pose on the exhale.

Kakashi watched mesmerized as Rin continued the movement for several more breaths, blissfully unaware of his presence. When he cleared his throat, Rin's eyes popped open. She startled to find Kakashi leaning against the wall. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long," Kakashi answered. He gestured vaguely toward the other side of the room. "What's all this?"

"Yoga," Rin answered, crouching to pull up the mat that she'd been standing on. She frowned from her new position, then used a hand against the couch to push herself onto her feet. "It's supposed to help with flexibility for labor."

_Labor_. Kakashi heard the foreign word, but his mind couldn't complete that jump. Not in connection with Rin anyway, not yet. They still had plenty of time before they needed to worry about that.

Rin filled the void that Kakashi's silence left. "There hasn't been any news about your team." Her deft fingers coiled the mat into a tight roll, then placed it by the door before facing him again. "No news is good news, though. Several teams have already been disqualified."

Kakashi didn't ask where Rin had gotten the information. Shinobi had their methods, and in the end, it didn't matter. There were a dozen ways that chunin hopefuls could be eliminated during the second exam. Injury, cheating, death-Kakashi stopped that line of thought before it could run away with him. "They'll be fine," he concluded, more for something to say than an actual need to repeat the sentiment. "They're as prepared as they can be."

"They are, so you should stop worrying about them," Rin answered. "In fact, I have  _just_ the thing to take your mind off it."

When Kakashi didn't answer, Rin worried her lower lip between her teeth. "I have a doctor's appointment today. I was thinking that you might like to come along. You went to some of the earlier ones, but you probably don't remember them. I'm scheduled for an ultrasound today, so you might be able to see the baby. It'll be fun. If you wanted to go, I mean."

Rin must have realized that she'd begun to ramble and snapped her mouth shut. Kakashi's hung slightly ajar in contrast. He understood that Rin was pregnant, but the idea of seeing the baby changed things. As the silence continued, disappointment slid onto Rin's face. "It's fine if you don't want to, I'm sure there are other-" she stopped when Kakashi touched her shoulder.

"What time is the appointment?" That was the closest that Kakashi could get to saying that he wanted to go.

With a small grin, Rin caught Kakashi's hand and tugged him toward the kitchen. "We have just enough time for breakfast," she laughed, already rummaging through the refrigerator.

After a meal that consisted of more food than Kakashi had ever seen in his apartment at one time, the pair headed into the village. Restless people milled through the streets, impatient to hear results from the next exams. Even though it technically took place inside Konoha, entrance into the Forest of Death was prohibited, at least until the conclusion of the exams. While the proctors could watch the participants through strategically positioned cameras, the general public would have to wait on announcements.

The second exam was scheduled to take a maximum of five days, and only one of those had passed. If Kakashi knew his team at all, and he thought that he did, they would complete the assignment with moments to spare. That meant he had four more days of worry nagging at the back of his mind.

The hospital loomed ahead, temporarily distracting Kakashi from his thoughts. Rin wove through the building with a familiarity that make him uneasy. After a few turns, the sterile, white hallways gave way to pastels. The scent of antiseptic and blood had been scrubbed away, leaving a faintly floral aroma.

The corridor opened into a large waiting room, bordered on one side by floor to ceiling glass. Sunlight flooded over the plush chairs where a few women waited, flipping through magazines with cherubic faces smiling on glossy covers. Rin approached the large, circular desk that predominated the opposite side of the room. Kakashi hung back, eyeing the situation with the same nervousness that being in the hospital always left him with.

Once Rin had completed whatever she was doing, she took a seat near the windows. A few of the women gave her small smiles and nods of acknowledgement, but none spoke. Kakashi finally recognized the thought that had been pestering for his attention since they entered, none of these women were shinobi. The familiar navy clothing beneath olive vests was conspicuously absent. It wasn't unusual for ninja to have families necessarily, but Kakashi had never expected to have the opportunity. Shinobi who regularly took missions outside the village usually didn't live long enough.

"Hatake-san," an unfamiliar, female voice called. Kakashi looked up only a heartbeat faster than Rin. As the woman smiled and lumbered to her feet, an undeniable warmth spread through his chest. It was strange watching Rin respond to his name, but Kakashi thought he could get used to it.

The blond nurse led the pair toward an exam room, pausing by a scale on the way. Rin dutifully stepped on, and Kakashi looked away to afford her some modicum of privacy as the nurse began to move the weights. The woman hummed under her breath and made a notation in Rin's file. "Good. You've gained a little since your last checkup, but you're still well within range for what we like to see."

Rin mumbled something under her breath, but Kakashi didn't catch what it was as the nurse ushered them into a room. His wife settled onto the bed, tucking hair behind her ears and appearing completely comfortable as she offered her wrist to nurse. The woman pressed two fingers into the porcelain skin and glanced at her watch, counting Rin's pulse. "Perfect, as usual," she said, writing the number down in her chart. "So, how has everything been going? Any problems or changes?"

"Everything is going well," Rin answered, lifting her arm so that the nurse could slide a blood pressure cuff around the upper portion. As the apparatus began to tighten, she closed her eyes and slowed her breathing to a more regulated rhythm.

Kakashi watched the women from the corner of his eye. He had never realized that being pregnant was such an ordeal. Sure, he knew that labor had to be pretty bad, everyone heard nightmare stories about that, but this seemed a bit excessive.

"You're sure that you've been feeling okay? Nothing bothering you or creating undue stress?" The nurse removed the cuff from around Rin's arm, frowning slightly. She picked up the chart and flipped through it while waiting for an answer.

"No, everything is fine," Rin answered, casting a questioning glance at the other woman. "It's been a bit more exciting than usual with the chunin exams taking place, but otherwise everything's been the same."

The nurse nodded, snapping the file closed. "Okay, I'll let the doctor know that you're ready."

As the door clicked shut behind the woman, Rin looked at Kakashi, biting her lower lip. "Did she sound worried to you?"

"I'm sure it was your imagination," Kakashi soothed, shaking his head. "How often do you have to do this?" He gestured around the room, studiously ignoring the models of the female reproductive system that lined the small counter.

Rin chuckled under her breath. "Once a month, give or take, but it will probably be more frequent once we get closer. I've been poked and prodded more times than I can count since the started. I'll be glad when all of this is over."

Kakashi rubbed Rin's shoulder. "There isn't that much longer left," he reasoned, not allowing his mind to stray into the territory of counting days. If he did that, he'd be paralyzed by fear. Better to speak in generalities.

"I know, but it's the worst part," Rin whined, lower lip sticking out in an uncharacteristic pout.

Kakashi chuckled and resumed drawing nonsensical shapes on Rin's shoulder with his finger.

The minutes ticked by until even Kakashi wondered if there might be something wrong. Finally, after a brief rap on the door that made both of them jump, a medical-nin slipped into the room. Grey peppered the man's black hair, and friendly creases crinkled the edges of his eyes and mouth. The man carried Rin's chart in one hand and a blood pressure cuff in the other.

"Hatake-san," the doctor began, bowing to Kakashi and Rin in turn. "The nurse was concerned that she didn't get a good reading from you. I'm going to recheck your blood pressure. Try to relax."

Rin's shoulders tensed, rising toward her ears as her hand tightened against the edge of the bed. "What was wrong with it?"

"Nothing," the doctor answered, patting Rin's knee in an obvious effort to comfort her. "We just want to make sure that it was an accurate reading. I'll tell you what, why don't we check it again at the end of your appointment instead?"

When Rin nodded, the man continued. "We're going to do an ultrasound today to make sure everything is progressing as we'd like. And, I'd like to do a non-stress test as well."

Rin squeezed Kakashi's hand, short nails digging into his skin. "Is there something wrong?"

The doctor opened Rin's file, scanned the information, then shook his head. "Toward the end of pregnancy, a variety of complications can pop up, so we're more cautious than in the earlier months. But, you were the picture of perfect health before getting pregnant, so complications are less likely."

The strain in the room eased enough for Rin to draw a breath and release her death grip on Kakashi's hand. She rubbed her thumb over the indentations that her nails had left and nodded at the doctor's words. "You would tell me if something was wrong?"

"Of course," the man answered. "I'm going to give the nurse your new orders to get this moving."

Once they were alone, Rin glanced at a Kakashi. While the doctor's words had helped, they hadn't allayed her worries. Sliding closer, Kakashi rubbed a hand between her shoulder blades, smoothing the stress away as best as he could. As a medical nin, Rin must have expected some of what the doctor had said, he imagined that applying it to herself was more difficult.

Before Kakashi could fumble through assurances that everything would be fine, the nurse returned with a warm smile. The blond's easy demeanor made the doctor's words more believable, further alleviating the tension. She led them from the room, explaining that the non-stress test would come first, then an ultrasound, followed by the doctor's report.

A leather recliner sat in the middle of the small room that Kakashi and Rin entered. A second, less comfortable seat nestled between it and the wall, while a machine waited on the other side. Rin moved toward the recliner without hesitation as the nurse began to fiddle with the dials. The two women seemed to know what the other expected without speaking, moving flawlessly together. Rin lifted her shirt, and the nurse ran two elastic bands around her belly.

"You'll do these tests periodically for the remainder of your pregnancy. They help us check on baby and make sure that he's moving like he's supposed to." The nurse explained, pressing a small buzzer into Rin's hand. "Push this whenever you feel movement."

After some adjustment of the straps, a steady drumming filled the tiny room. Neither Rin nor the nurse looked up from discussing the test, but Kakashi found himself struggling to remember how to breathe. He couldn't explain why the sound made his knees grow weak, but he found himself sitting without any memory of collapsing into the chair beside Rin. The nurse reached toward him, and Kakashi recovered himself enough to bat her hands away. "I'm fine."

The heartbeat increased, followed by a growling, swishing noise. Kakashi stared at the machine, eyes riveted to a leaping needle that recorded the heart rate. Before he could ask, Rin answered his question. "That was him moving." She winced and pressed just above one of the bands. "And kicking."

"I'll be back in half an hour," the nurse interjected, breaking the spell that had come over Kakashi while he stared at Rin. She bowed out of the room leaving them with the swelling and ebbing heartbeat.

For several minutes, neither spoke. Then, a loud kick echoed over the speaker and Rin turned toward Kakashi. "You really don't remember hearing it before?" There was no need to clarify the question; he shook his head. "You came to every appointment that your duties would allow."

The words made Kakashi feel slightly better about the time that he'd missed; he hadn't been a complete failure. Nodding, he turned his eyes back to the machine, unable to think of a reply that would express his gratitude properly. The constant beating made his chest clench with nervousness. It reinforced the reality that Kakashi would soon be a father, whether he was ready or not.

When the nurse came back, she pulled a printout off the machine and studied it. After a moment, she nodded and smiled. "Looks perfect, he did exactly what he was supposed to. We'll do the ultrasound next."

Rin exhaled, lowering her shirt into place after the nurse removed the straps around her stomach. Kakashi offered a hand to help his wife climb out of the chair, and she took it with a grateful smile. Once she'd found her feet, Rin linked her fingers through Kakashi's rather than letting go. They walked to the ultrasound hand in hand.

Near darkness filled the room where the blond nurse traded them off to a brunette who didn't look old enough to have completed her medical training. The woman's enthusiastic greeting made Kakashi cringe intenerally, but Rin smiled as if they were old friends. Maybe they had worked together in the past, because again, the women moved together seamlessly. Rin laid down on the bed and lifted her shirt so the nurse could smear gel across her stomach.

All too soon, a black and white shape filled the screen that Kakashi had been watching with apprehension. The image almost resembled a baby, one tiny, white arm waving in a sea of black. Kakashi supposed the ultrasound showed bones, but it was unmistakably arm shaped. Words washed by his ears, completely ignored as his attention remained riveted on the baby. When a leg jutted out abruptly on the screen, Kakashi blinked to see Rin's stomach move at the same time.

"The baby is measuring a bit bigger than twenty eight weeks, but it's nothing to worry about," the nurse said, flipping the machine off, then wiping Rin's stomach. "Babies all grow at different rates."

"I've been hearing that there's no reason to worry all day," Rin laughed, uncertainty evident to Kakashi's ears.

The nurse offered reassurances that the baby was moving well, and his heartbeat had been steady on the ultrasound. Rin's nod felt pensive, though she'd relaxed somewhat by the time they were back in their original room. The doctor arrived within minutes carrying Rin's file, now covered with the printout from the non-stress test and notes from the ultrasound. He skimmed the new information, nodding to himself. "Everything looks perfect. Let's check that blood pressure again and see where we are."

Seconds dragged by as the doctor watched the tiny dial on Rin's arm, face unreadable. When she couldn't take it any longer, Rin burst out. "Well?"

"It's still a bit elevated," the medical nin answered, recording the measurement on Rin's chart. Sighing, he laid the paperwork aside. "I said I was going to be honest with you. The number is higher than I'd like to see at this stage. Have you been under a lot of stress lately?"

When Rin chewed on her lower lip, Kakashi almost answered for her. She  _had_ been under significant stress lately, mostly because of him and his fractured memories. Before Kakashi could vocalize his concern, Rin shook her head. "The chunin exams are exciting because my husband's genin are competing, but other than that, there's nothing."

Sensing the unspoken tension, the doctor continued. "Your blood pressure isn't high enough to warrant bedrest yet, but if it continues upward," the main trailed off with a shrug. "We'll check it again in two weeks. In the meantime, do whatever you can to reduce your stress. Drink plenty of water, and make sure that you're getting enough rest."

Questions leapt into Kakashi's throat at the serious expression on the doctor's face. "What does a high blood pressure mean?"

"It could be an isolated case, but it could also be something more serious." Turning to Rin, the doctor narrowed his eyes. "If you start seeing spots, get blurry vision, have stomach pain, or anything unusual, come back to the hospital immediately."

"Of course," Rin answered, placing her fingers on Kakashi's wrist to stop any additional questions. The doctor nodded, apparently content that Rin knew what those warnings were supposed to mean, even if Kakashi didn't. "I'll keep an eye on things, and come back if there are any issues."

The doctor patted Rin's knee one last time, then signed off on her paperwork. "You're free to go, but please don't hesitate to call if you have any questions."

Rin's smile pulled unnaturally as she stood. Walking from the hospital in silence, Kakashi couldn't help but wonder what new hurdle this reality had thrown at him now.


End file.
